Unbiased Reviews by Real People
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Unbiased Reviews by Real People
Videodude's 10 Worst Movies of 2004Jan 17, 2005 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line These are Videodude's 10 Worst movies of the year, that never aim for anything hire except mediocrity. These are Videodude's ten worst films of 2004, each film was considered worst by either a bad script, overdone special effects, or bad performances. Some of these movies felt like a cheat to me, the viewer who invested his time. For instance, a movie like Walking Tall had a good premise but is marred by it's 85 minute running time (with only 73 minutes of actual screen time). It's an unfair cheat to the audience to not give more, and even make it an hour and a half to get my money's worth. These are movies that you can watch at your own risk, that I personally didn't find much enjoyment out of as they made me feel cheated out of watching a good movie. 1. SECRET WINDOW A movie starring a good cast, based on a story by a good writer doesn't make up for a good movie. An occasionally overacting Johnny Depp can't save this badly written movie which ends on an inconsistent note, about a frustrated writer living out his quiet life at his cabin, reeling from a nasty divorce. Secret Window has a good idea but it's not so much cliched, as it is frustrating to see the end be such a letdown. Secret Window builds up to become nothing more than a movie with a plot twist all too familiar to audiences. 2. CLUB DREAD Between parody and horror movie, Club Dread is a movie about swingers in a secluded island paradise being stalked by a masked killer. But it's a movie filled with a lot of unlikable characters that you may not mind seeing offed. Most of them are obnoxious or pretty stupid (like one unarmed guy trying to have a showdown with the armed, masked killer), that Club Dread falls flat. Not to mention scenes that either vary between random humor or suspenseful buildups. A disappointing sophomore effort from the guys who make Super Troopers. 3. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS Another version of Jules Verne's classic tries to make it a much more action-oriented film with the use of Jackie Chan. But even the chop socky stunts don't do much for a movie that seems vapid and uninspired as a retread. A big budget adaptation of the classic book features some terrific production design and impressive stunts, but the situations that the characters rope themselves into, just don't add up to much than just something that overdoes the absurdity. 4. SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED A sequel to the hit proves that the writing can be a little more lackadaisical than the original. It's also part of the pair that makes screenwriter James Gunn the first to write to movies that debut number one in both respective releases such as Gunn wrote the script for the 2004 Dawn of the Dead. But unlike the remake, this sequel is an emptyheaded exercise with the gang trying to figure out who the perpetrator is of a machine bringing back their old foes. Scooby Doo 2 is a movie that doesn't really set the bar high, despite being a sequel that takes the story on a bigger scale. 5. ENVY Certainly a movie the cast and director want people to forget, is a flat comedy about a guy jealous of his friend's newfound success. Envy features an annoying theme song and long scenes that were dead before they even began. The cast can't save the story except for an overacting Christopher Walken, as it doesn't really take the story anywhere else except one quiet suburban neighborhood. Given the director is Barry Levinson, couldn't he have at least made the story funny or is he a director better off behind smart fare. Because Envy is a movie that doesn't use dumb humor, because it's just a dumb movie. 6. THE GRUDGE A horror movie that's all about the hype, of a supernatural curse based on murderous rage that spreads to those exposed to it. The Grudge is a movie with some very scary visuals, but it follows the same path as most victims do when they do stupid things, like stay inside a dark house that definitely says DO NOT ENTER. Trying to fulfill an audience's expectations, The Grudge is a movie that becomes unintentionally funny when it aims for the same ironic pattern that many horror movies use. But the pattern the filmmakers use here is awkward and misunderstanding. 7. STARSKY & HUTCH Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller are reliable as a comic team, but they're in a misfire here as the hip detectives. Starsky & Hutch is as much a tribute to the show, as it is a cheesy look at the 1970's, that doesn't take itself seriously. Despite not taking itself seriously (which it shouldn't), the movie is a walking cliche filled with a lot of things you've seen in many other cop comedies, by being very formulaic. The cast provides some nice touches to their characters, but Starsky & Hutch is a movie that wants to stick to a tried and true formula, that makes it more boring than fun. 8. VAN HELSING A very big budgeted special effects movie from director Stephen Sommers, about literacy's most famous monster hunter in his salad days. When he's hunting down Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf in a dastardly plan by the Count himself. Van Helsing is a very loud, bigger is better movie full of fun special effects. But the effects like the Wolf's very big jaw or Dracula's "I'm smarter than you" complex, eclipse the story in favor of making it a bunch of cheesy special effects taking place instead of a story. Van Helsing is a mega budgeted B movie with decent performances (including a very campy Kate Beckinsdale), that's all about the effects. 9. TORQUE A movie from the music video director school of filmmaking, featuring fast shots, fast women, lots of action, and ridiculously over the top stunts. Torque is a relatively short motorbike action movie that's all about the cheese that tells a lot of cool stuff visually. Too bad it didn't move fast enough to be an entertaining story, instead of an okay one. The way Joseph Kahn shoots the movie is certainly a big budgeted music video, that tends to overstay it's welcome. At first it's cool since Kahn is like a kid playing with his toys, but couldn't he have scaled a little on the cutting and the shots. 10. GARFIELD America's beloved feline gets the big screen treatment, based on one of the cartoons. But Garfield is a movie that is short, and just about robs the dignity of the cartoon, despite being in touch with the lead character. A perfect Bill Murray voices the orange feline, who is a complete special effect. But it's the absence of dignity that the rest of the animal characters are all animals and not like their cartoon counterparts. Garfield is a movie for families that feels like a bit of a ripoff to fans of the Jim Davis comic (Davis was very supportive of the movie), that makes you wish they declawed this cat a long time ago. THE FINAL ROUNDUP Ten movies that didn't take themselves seriously, and I don't want them to. I just wanted to be entertained and see a little originality, not the same old thing. Each movie feels formulaic and cliched that made me wish I saw something else. But there you have it, the ten movies that I found to be devoid of fun, by being various connect the dots affairs where you can see everything easily come into fold without having to guess.  |
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