Children's Petting Zoo Safety Tips
Apr 06 '05
The Bottom Line The zoo remains open for all Epinions.com members that have at least three positive reviews and $5.
Perhaps you heard the report that was released a couple of weeks ago - Health officials in Florida suspect a petting zoo is to blame for an infection that has put five children in the hospital. That was most likely a shocker to most people in this country, but my family was not surprised in the least. They have grown up understanding how dangerous a children’s petting zoo can actually be.
You see for years the stockholder has had his own petting zoo. For years and years my children and now their children have listen to me cry out “$5 dollars for petting zoo, 5 dollars for petting zoo, start a line here $5 dollars petting zoo” And then children of all ages would come scampering full speed to the famous $5 stockholder’s petting zoo.
My zoo has made children and adults laugh with joy and I never even owned an animal for my petting zoo. I would just simply unveil my hairy chest and hairy patch that is directly above my buttocks and attempt to start a line of people to pet “the zoo” – I could be anywhere and I would mention the $5 petting zoo was available to one and all. Just a few months ago my daughter and I were in our local K-Mart buying light bulbs for the stockholder stabbin’ cabin’ and I felt the desire to embarrass her by inviting the entire store to pet the zoo. I cried out loud about the five dollar petting zoo for all to hear – in fact I actually exposed the zoo that is the furry patch in the small of my back and said come pet the zoo, just five dollars for petting zoo. The entire store stopped to enjoy the zoo. None brave enough to actually pay the $5 to pet the zoo, but none the less, the zoo was enjoyed by all.
This is all fun and games, well its all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Just like the children in Florida thought it was amusing to pet the goats, lamb, ponies and feed the pecking chicken. They never thought about getting sick. They were caught up in the moment of enjoying these furry creatures, never realizing how filthy animals really are.
The same goes for my family that have actually pet the zoo. My grandson who just turned nine years young previously marveled in the enjoyment of petting a hairy stockholder. Unlike the creepy Michael Jackson Neverland petting zoo, there was nothing perverted about the stockholder petting zoo. It was just pure goofy fun. Until my daughter noticed that the zoo’s caretaker (me) was not maintaining the zoo. She noticed the strange smell and came to the conclusion that there is a high probability that the stockholder petting zoo has become contaminated and is no longer safe for small children or older people that have problems breathing. Not to mention the fact that she noticed the lack of cleaning products being used to maintain the zoo. She also came to the conclusion after seeing my previously warn underwear that all children and adults alike may be in danger. The visible skid marks dangling from the bathroom’s shower rod was the clincher and actually was the cause for the sad closing of the stockholder petting zoo.
Now I am constantly reminded about children getting sick and how I must clean the zoo. My daughter asks if I have clean underwear available or she will ask if I need her to come over to do my laundry. She warns in a very serious tone that she does not want to hear about children in my neighborhood getting sick from a petting zoo.
My grandson the little fartknuckle just does not want to face the reality that the stockholder petting zoo is now closed. He just sees his grandfather and remembers how enjoyable it is to pet the greatest show on earth that is the $5 Stockholder Petting Zoo.
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Epinions.com ID:
stockholder
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: Chuck Broginger
Location: Chicago
Reviews written: 65
Trusted by: 182 members
About Me:
I am back and with skid marks !
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