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Today, A Pivotal Decision Was Made (Abortive Abortion W/O)Apr 08 '05 (Updated Apr 15 '05) Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line ahh, the american people. Today, from Capitol Hill, a huge victory was announced from our good old friends, the Evangelical Right. Our friendly neighborhood fascists were finally able to push through the two houses a most pivotal piece of legislation that is sure to please straight, white, irrational, proudly hateful, Bible-toting, ultra-conservative Christians, while sure to shake up the gay community. What is slowly catching on as the F-gs Still Can't Marry, But Must Carry Act has sent shockwaves through the USA and world. What the bill essentially says is that, if two homosexual males or two homosexual females get one another pregnant, then they must carry their baby to term, and then give it up to either, a) a family who had one of their children sacrificed in the Iraqi War (operation: pro-life replacement) in the name of protecting America (don't laugh; well, try not to), or b) you know, a heterosexual, married, white, Christan family, who will promptly drown the baby in holy water for 30 seconds to wash away all of that dirty homosexuality from their mother's or father's womb. President George W. Bush decided to fly back from his Texas ranch right after word that the bill passed, not really to sign anything, but because he was horny, and as God's chosen president he feels it's his duty to give young interns of D.C. the Holy Spirit. When asked about the bill, however, he had this gem to offer: "I can't see how we can let a child be conceived and raised by homosexuals. Times are too crucial to have children conceived by homosexuals. And then raised by homosexuals, too? I think we're asking a bit much from our homosexual communities. And I can't see how we can do that. It's a time to be compassionate to our homosexual neighbors. Therefore, we cannot ask them to both conceive and raise a child. There is just no logic to that." Ann Coulter's view on the matter was just a little more harsh, but goes something like: "Haven't we exterminated all the f*gs yet?". When told that we have not, Coulter began to masturbate to a picture of James Dobson. That's it. It was gross. The official response from the left came off of that worksheet that they have been using to respond to conservative moves since George W. Bush took office. It's called, "10 Generic, Emotionless, and Purposeless Statements To Use When The Conservatives Kick Our As*es". These statements are usually enough to keep the liberals happy. This is not surprising if you consider that most liberals have become so numb from Bush's presidency that he could propose the Kill All Homosexuals, Buddhists, Pagans, and Otherwise Non-Christian, Socialist Pieces of Sh*t Act, and most would probably just prepare to die. But finally, we got the homosexual reaction. When asked about this most extreme legislation against the rights of homosexuals to raise the children they conceive, CNN's Anderson Cooper said this: "I don't recall homosexuals having the correct tools between the two of them to create life." This, of course, was genius, especially if you consider that nearly all prominent American politicians have forgotten logic, and this country seems to be fighting an internal war, which pits religious moral fanatics against those trying to keep them in check. One group is active and aggressive; the other is passive with the perpetual look of defeat. But who said intellect ever reigned supreme in the United States of America? -------------------- Now it's time to answer some abortion questions, so you can know where I stand on this most controversial topic. Don't roll your eyes, and say under your breath, "as if I care." If you didn't, you wouldn't have come this far! 1. Would you ever have an abortion? I'll pull an Anderson Cooper on you, and let you know that it is physically impossible for men to have an abortion. We also don't have a menstrual cycle or breast-feed, which in turn makes us a pitifully sad gender. If only I could know what it was like to lactate, I feel like my life would be complete. On a serious note, if I ever impregnated somebody, I would be vehemently against abortion. I would never be able to forgive myself. I feel like this potential life I have created is gone, and for what? I'm graduating college soon, I'll have the resources to take care of it. Any choice toward abortion that I made would be 100% selfish. And I don't want to hear any crap about the "woman's choice" because without my penis, testicles, and sperm, there ain't a damn decision to be made. 2. If you have had one, do you regret it? Has it had any impact on your life? If you’d considered it, has not having one had any impact on your life (haha, obviously it would have)? I suppose I cannot answer this question. But how could anyone not regret it? I seriously wonder how numb we've become if you can possibly not regret aborting a potential life that you have conceived. But maybe I'm wrong. I hope not. 3. Have you ever protested for or against abortion and what were your feelings on the experience? First of all, nobody protests "for" abortion. That insinuates that there are people who rally to force people to have abortions. It is called "pro-choice" not "pro-abortion". In this, I have rallied neither way. My beliefs on the issue are too complicated, as I am pro-choice, but also pro-mucho reduction of abortions. 4. If you answered "no" to 1 to 3, do you actually have any feelings towards or thoughts on the issue of abortion or are you just hanging to go read the Lemony Snickets movie review (I completely understand)? "Lemoney Snickets" just seems wrong, and I don't think I actually answered "yes" or "no" to questions 1-3. Hmph. 5. If your underage child were to get pregnant (or your child’s girlfriend), what would you do? Probably kill both of them and bury them in my backyard. I would be sure to bury them deep enough so that my dog would not dig them up and eat their remains. That'd be disgusting. No, really, I would encourage them to keep the child and help them however I could to raise it. It would definitely take more of the extended family to help raise a child conceived by minors, but that's what family is for. If you don't want to help your child in these all-too common situations, then you probably should not have procreated. 6. Have your views on abortion ever changed? What caused them to change? When I was younger, I was bigger on the "pro-choice" front, but my views were more fanatical than actually rooted in any solid logic. Plus, now that I am older and more mature, I realize exactly what goes into creating life, as I see people my age having children, and see how harmful abortion can be on many different levels. Yet, one thing has always stayed firm in me, and that's that my "pro-choice" stance. I feel this is a personal decision, and not a public one. 7. Do you support the death penalty? No. And isn't it ironic that the same group of people who are "pro-life" are also for the death penalty? It boggles the mind. But no, I don't think anyone should be getting killed legally. What do we love more in our society, The Bible or loopholes? Because I don't think there was any loophole on the Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Kill". I mean, at least I don't remember reading in the footnotes, "Unless thoust's failure of a legal system has declared it 'OK'." 8. Are you a vegetarian? No. I'm a food-chainian. 9. Do you think questions 7 and 8 are irrelevant to the issue of abortion? Yes. Well, the death penalty has nothing to do with it, because I believe we're talking about potentially viable life, versus life that has proven for a substantial time to be viable. In this, I'm against abortions after the first trimester (barring extreme cases where birth is threatening to the mother's life), and I'm against the death penalty. 10. Under what circumstances, if at all, is abortion "acceptable" to you? In the first trimester, where the person getting an abortion has not done so an excessive amount of times. What an excessive amount of times is, I really cannot tell you. I haven't studied the issue that in depth at this point. 11. Is it your opinion that my soul will burn eternally in hell, and were you going to tell me so either via email or in this comment section (or better yet, in person!)? I don't believe in Hell, so you're safe! -------------------- In closing, I'll say this about abortion: it's a topic that will never ever go away. It's an act that will never end, so as long as one doctor in one underground clinic is willing to take on people who want abortions. But also, there are alternatives to abortion that should considered more heavily, including adoption, which includes adoption by homosexual couples who, as Mr. Cooper so succinctly explained, don't have the "correct tools to create life." When someone comes up with a logical explanation why two people of the same sex who are in a committed relationship cannot raise a child, I'll be listening. But since no argument actually exists, but in the mind of those whose minds are sealed off from reality, I encourage people to support the rights of homosexuals to raise children, especially in states where such things are not permitted. Even if you don't want to "vindicate" the "amoral behavior" of homosexuals, do it for the children who could use a home and someone to love and hug them. My father is a homosexual, and trust me, he has always done that with the best of them. * * * * * * * * * * The Abortive Abortion Write-Off. Hosted by Pranapana. * * * * * * * * * * For more information about Cryptic Cradle and his reviews, please click here. * * * * * * * * * * This has been a Cryptic Cradle Production.  |
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