Five Covers that Shouldn’t have Been Apr 27 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music The Dirtchamber Sessions, Vol. 1 by The Prodigy From $11 Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 The Bottom Line Avoid these five classic flops! Sometimes you hear a song and it sounds so familiar. Familiar but much worse than you can remember it. It would, by logic, warp you back to childhood memories or to romping parties you had while you were half intoxicated. You know, good times, stuff you wanted to forget as soon as possible. However, the song somehow just doesn’t seem right, doesn’t sound as good as it used and after it finishes playing it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. The reason is that the song you are actually listening to is a really, really, really bad cover. We’ve all heard the expression that nothing beats the original and covers are just simple copies. Well this is not absolutely true, it is a rule but a rule that has many significant exceptions. The following five are not part of the exception, in fact they abide by the rule wonderfully well. Word Up – Korn (Originally released by Cameo) Word Up is one of those hits of the eighties that you simply cannot get out of your head. Larry Blackmon’s peculiar voice and the dry artificial drum machine sound and eerie plastic synthesisers were a manifestation of everything contrary to my musical tastes. But, I loved it. After negotiating deeply in denial mode I came out of the closet and danced, sang and imitated the lead singer. I had the film clip taped on my video and repeated it endlessly. If you confront me about this in person however, I shall deny it vehemently and fall into fits of accusations and depression – at the same time, and will probably not talk to you. This is due to the band's image especially that of Blackmon – how grand? The only thing more memorable than the lyrics and the music is his famous shiny red plastic codpiece and I am sure that if they made helicopters small enough that one would be able to comfortably land on his hair do. Time passed, I grew up, well at least physically. My mind I guess stayed behind for the fun and still has some catching up to do. What am I now 18, oh wait I think my body might be 30! Sorry for the digression. Let me get back to the point. In the mid-nineties, Gun exploded on the scene with a remake of the very same Word Up. Although I loved the original, I simply loved the rendition by the Scottish hard rockers. Wow, the song sounded full, energetic – not the sublime energy from the original, but in your face kind of energy and it simply rocked. It was perfect, a better cover could not have been conceived. This also allowed me to show off to everybody that I remembered the original and amazed my friends when I simply started singing the lyrics song at first listen. The Gun episode passed and exactly the same amount of time later, I hear the same song again being aired on MTV. It was Word Up all right, but sounding like some teenage rock band trying to make it on the scene. Hold on! The credits say Korn, a famous Nu Metal band. This can’t be correct! They seem to be out of inspiration, they sound bland compared to the powerful Gun version. They haven’t added anything that would make their rendition memorable. They simply did a faded cover of Gun’s cover, turning down the distortion knobs and not doing anything significant in the arrangement department. This attempt will surely fade away from my memory, it’s simply being pushed out by the original and first cover – there’s not enough for a third. Knocking on Heavens Door - Avril Lavigne Originally released by Bob Dylan I guess this is an obvious one. When push comes to shove, pick on Avril Lavigne. Not to mention that this is probably one of the most covered songs in the history of the Universe and further, and not to mention that even greater musicians than Ms. Lavigne have failed at capturing the essential sound of the song, she goes on to do it. Granted it’s fairly simple to play and it is one of the first songs that one learns when picking up the guitar, I guess it makes it an easy target for beginners. The simple three chord pattern is excellent for training the fingers to effortlessly change positions. And this is in fact what Ms. Lavigne has proven that she is, a beginner with no sense of direction when attempting to tap into the appeal from this classic. Trying to prove that you’re rocker actually disproves your ultimate goal. When playing musak you don’t need to prove anything, just go out and do what you f---king do best. Sorry for the fowl language, I didn’t intend to sound so strict. In fact I quite like Avril, but I think that she should stay with songs like Sk8er Boy and Complicated until she matures enough musically and vocally before attempting to pretentious projects for which she is unprepared for. It’s Raining Men –Geri Halliwell Originally released by The Weather Girls I am not a fan of the original. I’ve heard much too many times over and over and over again, involuntarily I might add, at parties during my student dorm years at which the only fun part was the free beer and the quest for signs of fresh air in an attempt to avoid nicotine poisoning. The chorus and bridge are annoying and making it even more annoying are the endless repetitions in the second part of the song. Jerri Halliwell of Spice Girl fame over does her self. She has taken a hideous song that was bearable to listen at the best of times and made it impossible to listen, especially after the repugnant opening passage. Is it my ears or does she totally miss the intonation. I simply refuse to listen further. I Love Rock n’ Roll - Britney Spears Originally released by Joan Jett The original I Love Rock n’ Roll made a statement I guess, that female vocalists can rock and rock hard if they actually wanted to. So did Britney Spears deliver the same message, that over-marketed, over-hyped, over-estimated pop stars can rock. Not! Stick to your style of songs Britney, I really enjoyed Toxic and as you might notice I am not one of your biggest fans. Stairway to Heaven – Unknown *the only electronic remake I could find in my brief search was by Jana. Originally released by Led Zeppelin You know the original, so I’ll go on to describe this filthy remake. So you have a typical bass techno rhythm, synthesisers and similar effects. Enter the typical emotionless techno vocals singing the first two verses, then some more background noise, i.e. rhythm and synthesiser, then the first verse once again. I have a problem with this. A big one at that. Not only have they changed the sound of the song completely, which can turn out good results many a time, but they have absolutely decapitated the song. When you set out to do a remake of a classic one assumes that you at least respect it and you do not mess about with the songs sequence. When you start with “There’s a lady who’s sure, all that glitters is gold”, you have to sing until the ending phrase “To be a rock and not to roll” with all the little and big words in between, including that part about a piper calling us to join him. P.S. I hope somebody recognizes the versions and who it is by so that I can be fully aware of who to ignore.

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