The becoming of a Special Needs Mom, My Journey: Part VIIMay 03 '05 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Books
The Bottom Line The last 2 1/2 years in just a few words: Denial, Fear, Anger, Acceptance and finally Strength. Feelings that pop up all the time and make me question almost everything
Parts I & II, Leading up to the Birth and After the Birth. Parts III & IV, The NICU and Discharge Parts V & VI, The First Year and the Turning of One Part 7: The turning of 2 This brings me to now. Present time. It is interesting to look back at all that I have typed and to see all of his accomplishments. Of course, it also makes me realize just how lucky I am to have the son that I do. How strong he must be to break through all of the physical boundaries that he has since passed over, but like I assume every other Special Needs mother does, I also mourn the loss of my “normal” child. The one that I planned for every moment of my short pregnancy. I also find myself wondering what type of child he would have been if the injury had never occurred. I try not to go down that path, but it is still something I wonder form time to time. My son still exhibits signs of his brain injury, but it would only be noticeable to the trained eye or to someone who spends a decent amount of time with him. He doesn’t talk much and still uses his left side much more. He will use his right if prompted, but when he is tired, it becomes more difficult. He still has a pretty major speech delay and he is more along the lines of a 19 month old instead of a 29 month old, but he is happy and continues to make much progress. The rages are still there, but at least we have some sort of an answer. It is a possibility that he his feeling muscle spasms or that he might be having some seizure activity, either way, it is being looked into and that is a big step. When a child turns 3 in the special needs community, to continue to receive services like therapy, they must have a diagnosis. This has brought me to look though his medical and therapy records and I was amazed at what I saw. I am amazed at how little hope they had for this child and how much he proved them wrong. We won’t know the full extent of the effects of the brain injury until he is much older, but what he shows now we have a more positive outlook. The records have also made me realize that there are so many questions that were and are left unanswered. I am amazed at how little information physicians will volunteer on their own, so we are on a quest for more information on my son. Being a mom is tough; being the mom to a special needs child is incomprehensible until you have actually been there. I always have to be the strong one, the one to insist that he does not fall through the cracks. I was told once, that I am my child's strongest advocate, and I never truly understood the full extent of that until my son was born. Every appointment is a fight, especially when the doctor fails to adequately read my son’s medical history. There are days that I cry and days that I want to run away from all the appointments and all the stress that comes with this, but there are also days that I feel lucky to be where I am. Like when I am able to feel the true joy of a milestone that most parents would shrug off. Today my son held a slug and a snail. Now to most people it would either be no big deal, or they would freak out and immediately wash their child’s hands. To me, this was something to cry over. My son has sensory issues and cannot handle the feel of certain textures, especially on his hands. He sat still and held that slug and snail for a good 5 minutes before his therapist removed them. The best part, he even smiled at them and said the word “snail”. I think that probably the most special part of being the mom of a special needs child is the fact that I really get to appreciate what most take for granted, and tomorrow, I get to start all over again. Baby Mine Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine, Dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, Never to part, Baby of mine. Little one, when you play, Don’t you mind what they say, Let those eyes sparkle and shine, Never a tear, Baby of mine. If they knew sweet little you, They’d end up loving you too. All those same people who scold you, What they’d give just for the right to hold you, Baby of mine. From your head, down to your toes, You’re not much, goodness knows, But you’re so precious to me, Sweet as can be, Baby of mine  |
| Read all comments (8)|Write your own comment |
