Meet, Greet, and Pass Out - All In D.C.
May 29 '05
The Bottom Line Well it's come and gone. Recommending it now would be a moot point now, right?
More on that title and the meaning of it later...
The following is representative of not one, but many individuals. I've blended them into a "THEM" for purposes of this review. Identities and verbatim phrases have been altered in order to protect the guilty-as-hell.
Them: Are you going to make it to this Meet N Greet?
Me: What? Huh?
Them: Yeh. It's in DC this time. That's not too far from you, right?
Me: What? Huh?
Them: The Meet N Greet. You missed the last one. If you don't show up to this one, people will start talking.
Me: What? Huh?
Them: You're a legend at these things. People come just to meet you.
Me: spits up random drink....throws back head and laughs uncontrollably That may have been true like three years ago when I actually wrote on this damn site.
Them: Yes, let's acknowledge that you're not pulling your writing/advising weight anymore but for the time being, we all forgive you. But only if you come to the DC meet n greet.
Damn. The guilt got to me. Plus unemployment - what sort of excuse did I have? I couldn't even say I didn't have the money as those smart people who know me know that I've racked up a bazillion miles in frequent flyer and hotel stays.
Real people can skip most of what comes next. I just feel like rambling for old times sake.
Friday
1) Flew in to Reagan National Airport. DC was colder than a big dog. Next time anyone bee-othches about Indiana weather, I'm sending them to DC.
2) Picked up by a hotel shuttle and whisked to my Hilton. Checked into room. Went through usual routine. Disrobe. Throw suitcase on a chair. Turn on television. Adjust heating/cooling. Pee. Memorize hotel room service menu. Go get ice and Diet coke from vending machine. Review movie selections. Chuckle at parental controls on adult movies. Remember that I am a parent. Squeal in delight that the hotel carries both the History and the A&E Channels.
Saturday
I actually slept some. Oh yes, I woke up every hour or so, validating that I knew where I was (No sick jokes on this one Georgie...). When I woke up, I snuggled up to some A&E and room service (croissants, strawberries, and diet coke).
The place to work out doesn't open until 10 am. What's up with that? Not like I'm a health nut chick but I thought that as long as I didn't have my laptop computer gasp... (one of the many downsides of suddenly being unemployed), I thought that I might as well do something productive with my life. After casing the place, I found that the work out part was open but the swim place wasn't until 10.
And then I weighed myself. New curse words were invented and patented on the spot. I pinched a mile, not an inch, murmured more unmentionables under my breath, and hopped on to the treadmill.
mutter mutter why can't I be supermodel skinny or at least twice the size of Lindsay Lohan
Back to room.
Mrs. Tomato called. No water. Must search out showering facilities. Wanted to meet up earlier with you. Not possible now. Let me explain something. No shower, no meet n greet. Those are my rules :).
Rumor #1: Thankfully, she did get herself some good, clean, showerin' in although rumor has it that she wasn't alone in her adventure....
I got ready, took a cab, and went to Meet n greet.
Now we're ready for the part that actually pertains to the Meet N Greet. You can breathe now.
Random Thoughts That Occur Within the First Sixty Seconds:
1) What is this place?
2) It's in the frickin' Marriott? Sheesh, if I knew that, I would have just stayed here. Thinks for a moment - do I have frequent staying points here? I think so...
3) Wow! Those guys sitting over there are hot. Wonder who I can fix up?
4) Reminder, you are in DC...Indiana is a bit of a hike for hot guys.
5) But maybe they have frequent flyer miles...
6) Where is this damn event? I see tons of people but no epi-dolls?
7) Ah. A banner. I walk under it. See a group of people on the first floor. Can't be them. They look too distinguished.
8) How the heck do I get to that second floor? I have to climb stairs? Sheesh!!!
So then I climb the stairs. I look around and at first, don't recognize anyone.
Sob. I really have been off the site for awhile.
Then I spy the bug lady (note to self – where the heck is her profile at???). The bug lady is the hottest chick west of the Mississippi. I'm THISCLOSE to submitting her for a spot on America's Next Top Model. I love the bug lady. Bug lady hands me my name tag. This is a good thing as Randy and GG both jipped me at my last Meet n Greet. I had to walk around nameless then. Try explaining why to your friends and neighbors.
Mrs. Tomato was right next to her. I think. Regardless, I love Mrs. Tomato. Please, don't believe a word she says about being "shy". She's a smart lady who thinks before she talks (unlike more of us). ANYWAY - more on her later....She had indeed showered (although I wasn't thinking about that until just now). It was slightly bizarre to see her without Mr. Tomato but only because I am a sick and twisted individual. Mrs. Tomato was a sight for sore eyes. Seeing her made me feel right at home.
As I was putting on my name tag (1147 reviews, no hats, a hot pic of me and Doc)....Brian approached me. Brian wasn't what I expected. Yes, I expected sweet and got that. I didn't realize how outgoing and vivacious he was! We chatted a bit and then WHOMP! There it was. My baby, David. I squealed with delight upon seeing him. I hugged him like the long, lost brother that he is.
Me: Did you bring underwear?
Him: No. Well I'm wearing some, does that count?
This was of course, in reference to the New York meet n greet where David whipped out a g string for Nirav to pose with. Somehow, I think that even if David had brought it that we wouldn't have been able to talk GG or Randy into wearing it....But maybe the new software engineering dude...
After that, I reacquainted myself with my buds and met more new ones.
Fellow unemployed buddy Mike was there (and sadly), fully dressed. He gave me a great big ole hug. I latched on to the man like there was no tomorrow. Just like with David, Mike is another person who I am grateful to have crossed paths with in life. I love Mike like a big ole chocolate covered cherry. He understands me in a way that is scary.
From there, everything was a blur. People, places, things. It all happened. For three hours. Afterwards, I went back to my hotel and passed out. Literally. I slept until 4 a.m. the next morning, missing out on the after events.
Now here's the thing. 5 1/2 years on this site have yielded me some of the neatest relationships. I mean, who would have known that there were so many special people out there in cyber land?! Even though I don't write much, I never forget the people. Coming back to the site or going to one of these meet n greets is like coming home to an extended family you haven't seen for awhile.
Awards
Britney Spears Toxic Award: Baby Belle for her rendition of yes, I'm so incredibly cute and cuddly, but man, I rip a mean one when I want to. I loved hanging with this girl but was PLEASED to hand her back to her mother when the root-toot-tootin' began.
Package Evaluation and Assessment Award: David for his non-biased evaluation of every hot guy's important parts, including his personal, hands-on evaluation of Brian's.
Biggest and Most Valuable Use of Mammories Award: Mary Tara (affectionately known as MT) for her ability to whip it out on demand without blinking an eye. Gawd...she's my hero.
Most Surprizing, Hottest Male Award: George easily won this award with his boyish good looks, great sense of humor, and his willingness to let me spout off about three million, unrelated things. Dude! Change your profile picture so that all the women can bask in your glory! Note: I just checked his profile and he did!! Yay!
Girl Next Door, More Than Meets The Eye Award: Krissieliz walked away with this one. She needs to come visit me in Indiana. Soon.
Undercover Heartbreaker Award: Speed Man for his ability to have both men and women aching for a random look, touch, grope, etc... from the suave man himself. I personally want to know how many new phone numbers he walked away with....
Epinions Comic Relief Award - of the Pee Your Pants Type: Hands down, this is George. We're all trying to strike the Brady Bunch pose on the staircase and George belts out, Let the bartender through - the man has my beer! You can accuse George of many things - just NOT one of misplaced priorities...
Photographer Extraordinare Award: Paul, hands down. He was zoomin' in and out of the crowd like a pro. When we finally met up, I couldn't believe how much the man knew about me! He's SO quiet on the site (note to self: ALWAYS watch out for the quiet ones....).
A Star Is Born Award: Ask Baby Belle. She'll tell you that Mr. Editor was the star. Whatever he played, she was in awe of him. Of course, I requested an NSYNC song and he claimed to know of none. GASP!
I Have The Patience To Outlast All Of The Criticism Award: This, of course, goes to GG. Mike and I WHOOMPED on him pretty badily. It's all out of love and he knows it....
No Assembly Required Award: This goes to Randy. You know, the host of the show. The man has more energy and stamina then any Epinions employee ought to.
Party Animal Disguised As A "Normal" Person Award: Yeh, this was no competition. Caroline Chick was hoppin' around, drinkin' and jumpin' and laughin' like she owned the place. Hey, maybe she did.
Most Likely To Star In A Porn Movie Without You Knowing Award: That would be Tom. He's the man. Ask anyone.
Most Unlikely To Make An Appearance At A Meet N Greet With Her Hot Husband Award: To say that it was WONDERFUL to finally meet Carletta in person would be an understatement. And man! I was worried about her getting married so young but take a look at her husband and you'll understand ;).
Gone But Not Forgotten Award: I admit it. I miss her. I miss her more than I miss watching Justin and JC on stage together. Thinks for a moment. Yep. Bring her back for the next meet n greet. Alexis.
P.S. I know I didn't mention lots of other people. I'm sorry :(. Next time, I promise. This thing took a LONG time to write and man, I need a drink.
Required Attendees (Outside of the Usual Suspects) for Next Meet N Greet
1) Jen
Suggestions for KFH Food for Texas Meet N Greet
1) Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks (no other brand or type will do)
2) Mini-bagles with plain cream cheese
3) Fresh Fruit - Strawberries, Seedless grapes, pineapple, peaches with various dipping areas (chocolate, cream cheese, etc...)
4) Make your own drink (like Diet coke and adding your own flavoring - cherry and vanilla specifically)
5) Pigs n blankets - little, itty, bitty ones
Possible Karokee Songs For Texas Meet N Greet
1) Somebody to Love – Queen
2) Does Your Mother Know – Abba
3) Lonely Boy – Andrew Gold
4) Sex Shooter – Apollonia 6
5) Shadows of the Night - Pat Benetar
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
kristinafh
|
 - Top 50 |
|
Member: Kristina Frazier-Henry
Location: Indiana
Reviews written: 1344
Trusted by: 1169 members
About Me:
Cannot breathe. Missing Barbara.
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.