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10 Teen Screams To Get Through Halloween

Oct 13 '05

The Bottom Line Are you scared yet?

More so than in any other genre, it's incumbent upon a horror director to draw the audience into the film. You can laugh and cry at a film from the comfort of your living room sofa, but it's only when you're brought into the sinister world of a horror mastermind that you can truly be frightened. So frightened that you'll need to check in every crawl space larger than a bread box to sleep comfortably. While the average horror flick is pure fantasy, a great horror film blurs the lines between absurdity and reality.

Before I continue, I have something of a confession to make; it's something that will help you determine whether this is a list of must-sees or all B's. While some people may prefer the classic horror stylings of Vincent Price and Bela Lugosi, I do not. I'm not ashamed to admit that I prefer the more contemporary slashers and screamfests. Maybe I can relate more to the goings on, or maybe I just like my blood served with a side of skin -- but this is my disposition. It's slashers and scream queens for me all the way, baby.

Of course, the subgenre has its detractors. Individuals are critical of teen screams and slashers, mostly for being rife with pathetic teen actors and cheesy special effects. However, even with these handicaps, the subgenre has become a cultural phenomenon that spans decades, from John Carpenter's Halloween to the rebirth with Wes Craven's Scream. These are just some of the titles that love to scare:

Halloween (1978) Best of the Beginning
Director: John Carpenter
John Carpenter brought the low-budget feature Halloween to theaters in the late 1970's, and the slasher phenomenon was born somewhere in the aftermath. (I was only two at the time, so cut me a little bit of slack on the abbreviated historical perspective.) Halloween, of course, is a fine slice of celluloid scariness; however, sometimes a film deserves to be mentioned more for its historical significance than its actual cinematic value. I enjoyed Halloween, but I wouldn't say that it's the cream of the crop. I'm actually a Nightmare on Elm Street guy myself. Carpenter composed a film with a memorable musical score, groundbreaking photography and a formidable killer known as Michael Myers. Most importantly, however, he defined what a slasher should be -- a light plot rife with teenage debauchery and a killer that finds the right combination of human and inhuman.

Urban Legend (1998) Best Neo-Slasher
Director: Jamie Blanks
The mid-1990's saw a huge boom in slasher flick production, a natural result of Wes Craven's smash hit Scream. However, this wasn't all good news for slasher fans. It seems that the characteristics of the slasher had been redefined. Film producer's hired Hollywood all-stars in favor of B starlets, with less nudity as a natural result. The films cut gore to appease a broader audience, and the slasher lost its edge as a result. Fortunately, there is one neo-slasher that I love to this day, Urban Legend. For a culture that is supposedly getting more violent and more sex-obsessed, the film seems very tame compared to Halloween. But there's definitely something to love about the concept -- a killer whose methods employ popular urban legends. It's simple and it's edgy. It appeals to popular culture, but it still satisfied this fan of teen movies and cult horror.

Night of the Demons (1988) Best Haunted House Horror
Director: Kevin Tenney
Few films have ever been able to maintain a sustainable balance between horror and comedy. The combination of two such divergent chords can be awkward, and too often a director will kill the frightful atmosphere with misplaced humor. Kevin Tenney broke this trend with his cult classic Night of the Demons, a film that finds several unassuming teenagers in a possessed crematorium on Halloween. He upstages Craven in a number of respects -- more one-liners, more sex and a more animated killer (Amelia Kinkade as Angela). What begins as a simple case of possession ends in a clever combination of slasher and zombism. But it's the set of the Haunted Hull House that earns the film its props. It's a massively spooky crematorium that provides more places to hide and party than you'd ever think possible.

Night of the Demons 2 (1994) Best Sequel
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Can you tell that I'm obsessed with the Night of the Demons trilogy? Amelia Kinkade returns as Angela in a film that turns from romping to rolling in no time at all. Night of the Demons 2 might have a new director, but it retains all of the elements that made the original so great -- and goes one up by featuring mega-hottie Christine Taylor as a Catholic schoolgirl. Like the original, it's the witty and gritty combination of funny and frightening that makes this one a winner. While I think that it trends too much towards a comedy at times, the film still packs quite a wallop. Unfortunately, Night of the Demons 3 won't be appearing in this list, or any other list except the 10 Worst Horror Films Ever.

The Evil Dead (1981) Best Cult Classic
Director: Sam Raimi
Perhaps one of the most beloved cult films, The Evil Dead is the creeptastic thriller that has made Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell household names over the years. Raimi makes excellent use of clowns, a chainsaw and tree roots. It's the right combination of horror, comedy and cheese. I'm being intentionally vague because you really have to see The Evil Dead to be impressed by it. Army of Darkness is often regarded as the superior film in the trilogy, although I respectfully disagree. It's like comparing apples and oranges. The films are disparate in style and substance; The Evil Dead is more horror and Army of Darkness is more comedy.

The Blob (1988) Best Use of a Gelatinous Blob
Director: Chuck Russell (1988)
I liked the original film, The Blob (1958), but I enjoyed its second coming a little more. This probably owes more to the fact that I can relate better to teens from the 80's than I can to teens from the 50's. However, there is definitely something special about a film that can inspire this remake, and another one to come in the near future. The concept of an amorphous blob devouring all life and limb in it's path probably seems a little bit hokey, but it's executed with style. There's not much that is creepier than gelatin that can creep through any crack or crevice. The ending trends too sci-fi at times, but still leaves you coming back for more.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) What the F***?
Director: Stephen Chiodo
The Chiodo brothers are a truly sick band of misfits, and I love them! The thing that's scary about Killer Klowns From Outer Space isn't the red-nosed killers from outer space, but rather it's the fact that the twisted elements of this film actually came out of a human brain. Killer popcorn, cotton candy cocoons, deadly shadow puppets. It's all here and it's all very disturbing. It gets a C for scares, but it gets an A+ for creativity.

Pumpkinhead (1989) Creepiest Killer
Director: Stan Winston
Ahhhh, Pumpkinhead. It's what you would get if you unleashed an animated dinosaur skeleton on The Breakfast Club. It's 80's horror at it's prime. The visuals are somewhat disappointing for a Stan Winston film, but the atmosphere is salvaged by an engaging story, appropriate lighting and a runaway performance by Lance Henriksen. It's a culty film that is often overlooked when teen screams are discussed.

Jaws 2 (1978) Best Open-Water Thriller
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Jaws 2 is always a great choice for those with a lower intestinal fortitude. While not often thought of as a teen scream, Jaws 2 definitely embodies many of the qualities of the subgenre. There's a devious killer; it's just a cartilaginous fish. There's teenage romance and angst; it's just kept at a PG level. It takes a path distinct from the other films in the Jaws franchise, and I've taken a liking to it. Solid photography and a memorable score born in the original make Jaws 2 a great ride. I'm a firm believer that horror films should be R-rated or higher, but this is definitely an exception.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-rama (1988) Best Director
Director: David DeCoteau
I'm an avid follower of DeCoteau, and it's utterly disappointing that he has yet to direct a film that could make its way onto this list on its own merits. Through dozens of films, DeCoteau has always managed to put together a film that is at least watchable. He's consistent, although consistently mediocre. That is actually something of an achievement for a horror director. Despite his propensity to direct homoertoic thrillers, it is always his heterotica that pleases the most. To date, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is his premier work and a cult classic in limited circles. It's got scream queen Linea Quigley, an evil imp and a couple of hot sorority girls. The title alone is a reason to rent it.

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