Why I am not YOUR typical homeschool mom (but still a typical homeschool mom)
Jun 28 '05 (Updated Nov 20 '08)
The Bottom Line You just cannot generalize about homeschooling families. Homeschoolers no longer fit any set stereotype and homeschooling has become a valid and sometimes preferable educational choice.
Much to my surprise, we recently became a homeschooling family. I certainly did not expect to ever homeschool and while I’ve always supported educational choice, my choice was to shell out the money to have somebody else educate my children.
My history
To tell the truth, I’ve never really had any thoughts about homeschooling, good or bad, until fairly recently. While teaching at the University level, I began to notice that certain kids stood out as being more attentive and more willing to learn. Turns out, many of them were homeschooled. I was intrigued and spent quite a bit of time asking the typical stereotypical questions, “What about socialization” and “You weren’t part of some sort of commune, were you?” These kids paid more attention in class and weren’t whispering in the back of the room about last night’s party or the cute guy sitting up front. They paid attention, asked questions and always seemed to score above their peers on tests. On field trips and class projects, these were the kids most likely to be found working with the older students rather than choosing kids from their own age group.
I began defending homeschooling to others but still had no desire to homeschool. After all, many of the other brighter kids had been private school students and that was the route I expected to take and did. However, fairly recently, I started thinking there might be even more benefits to homeschooling and decided to become a second-grade, homeschool teacher.
Why I’m not YOUR typical homeschool mom
Based on arguments I’ve heard in the past, I know I’m not the ‘typically perceived’ homeschool mom. I’m educated with my undergraduate work in both computers and cartography and my graduate work in the physical sciences studying flora and fauna over time and space. I’m not choosing to homeschool based on religious or monetary reasons. We make enough money to send my son to a wonderful, small private school where he has received an excellent education and is one grade level above his public-school peers in only the second grade. The school also has small class sizes and provided the moral instruction I believe to be important in my son’s life. If my reasons for choosing homeschooling were simply for religious or providing a better schooling environment, I wouldn’t be homeschooling and my son would continue attending his former school.
Why we chose to homeschool
Of course, everybody wants to know, why, if we were a part of such a wonderful school, would we start homeschooling? I really don’t have a ready answer for that one. Now that my son is in second grade, I just felt this urge to try homeschooling and my husband has been very supportive. My son is quite bright for his age but has some social difficulties. He is the youngest in his class and many of his classmates are more advanced socially which can make for some difficulties every now and again. Until recently, we thought our only options were to either hold him back a year or just continue on as we’ve been doing. However, we know he’d be bored to tears if held back a year and several of his teachers have mentioned that while many boys are behind socially and emotionally in their younger years, they do catch up eventually. Our hope is that homeschooling will provide our son the time and opportunities to grow without having to endure the teasing or difficulties faced by many of these boys. In fact, since beginning homeschooling, we’re seeing our son start to emerge out of his shell and, while we are only at the beginning of this process, seeing him become a bit more secure in who he is.
Some intriguing homeschool statistics
According the U.S. Department of Education, homeschooled children tend to score more than 22 percentile points higher in reading in math (caucasion students) and more than 25 to 30 percentile points higher (minority students) than their publicly-schooled peers. More than 30% oh homeschooled students live in households making $25,000 annually or less while 17.4% live in households making more than $75,000 annually. This means that more than 50% of homeschooled kids live in your typical middle-class families. More than 80% of these students have parents who have at least some college with nearly 50% having at minimum a four-year degree. Nearly 50% of all homeschooled students live in either a single parent household or a household where both parents work outside the home. Also, more than 50% of homeschoolers live in cities as opposed to smaller towns or rural areas.
So, why am I the typical homeschool mom?
As I’ve discovered, there is no such critter as your typical homeschool mom. Homeschool families cross the spectrum for both educational and income levels. In fact, the U.S. Department of Education reported that the range of family incomes is similar in both homeschooling and non-homeschooling families. Parents of homeschoolers do tend to have higher educational levels (as mentioned before, more than 50% have at least a four-year degree). However, let me make mention, if you are interested in homeschooling and do not have a college degree, do not let that deter you. I have met many families where mom and dad do not necessarily have a college degree but their homeschooled children end up taking college courses when most kids are only in their junior year of high school. As you’ve probably guessed, I’m not a huge fan of many of the public schools (however there are exceptions) but I’m also familiar with the educational systems of other countries and believe we are robbing our children of a practical education. We have an educational system that starts out strong but as kids advance in grade level, they slip further and further behind kids schooling in other countries. So, while I may seem to be typical in not being a fan of our public schools, this was not the reason for choosing homeschooling. Homeschooling families also tend to be much more active in their communities and we do fit this mold. We believe in volunteering where possible and have been active in both schools and the community.
What I have discovered about homeschooling
I’ve been surprised to discover, I love homeschooling. My husband travels frequently and we usually go through a difficult adjustment time with my son while daddy is gone. During the last trip, spanning several weeks, my son did wonderfully and we had no adjustment period whatsoever. I attribute his attitude adjustment to the fact that mommy was spending so much more time with him on a daily basis. His speech issues have caused him discomfort in the past, but with homeschooling, his confidence is again soaring. And, while I am by nature a very structured person and plan out his week and print out daily schedules, I am learning that the concept of unschooling, in which children don’t have set schedules but tackle their interests, can have a positive influence. My son brought out a calculator one day and asked me if I could teach him division and percentages. If he shows interest in a particular area, I have no problem incorporating that information into our daily schedule.
Our typical day
The last thing I want is for my son to fall behind his class in any way. His class is a year ahead of the public schools and I thought that might be more pressure so I purchased the same curriculum his 2nd grade classmates will be using. I ended up switching out the science books for a yearlong course in Astronomy and have added new books in math because he is so interested in multiplication and division. I also added a course in geography and map reading. He is also taking spanish and german. I know, along with the daily journal writing, phonics, history, handwriting, reading, spelling, math and cooking course that I added, this seems like a lot but we really only homeschool three to four hours a day, four days a week.
My son’s thoughts on homeschooling
My son keeps telling me how much he likes being homeschooled. He only works four days a week on ‘official’ schoolwork and, on the fifth day, we take a field trip. His only work after the field trip is to write a paragraph about his day. We are also joining two homeschool co-ops. The first group meets one afternoon a week and allows my son to take three additional classes of his choosing. He will also continue taking P.E and attend field trip with his classmates at his former school. He’s always been involved in sports (i.e. karate, swimming and soccer) and will continue to take part in these activities. Contrary to popular myth, he now spends more time interacting with children than he did while enrolled in school. However, he attended a very academic school and interaction primarily took place only during breaks and some activities during the day.
I’ll let you in on a little secret though. My son is not really doing only four days a week of schoolwork. It is no coincidence that, at night, we’re reading books about the planets and the stars that just happen to mirror what we learned in astronomy that week or when we play word games in the car subtly checking what he has learned in German or Spanish. School has become a full-time opportunity in our household but if you ask our son, he’ll tell you he only does schoolwork three to four hours a day, four days a week.
Perhaps I am painting too rosy a picture of homeschooling for some. True, you will find cases of abuse and those are ALWAYS the cases brought up by the anti-homeschooling crowd but this is true of any thing in life. We’ve only just begun to homeschool but have definitely found a fit. My son is only in second grade but doing third and fourth grade work. Am I worried about the possibility of mandatory testing? Nope, bring it on. I know this rankles some homeschooling families but I am confident in my abilities as a teacher and more so in the abilities of my son. I recognize that homeschooling is not for all families and, truth be told, my goal at this time is to homeschool a year and possibly put my son back in with his class but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
Who is the typical homeschool mom?
Well, if you’ve made it this far, you know there is no such thing as a typical homeschool mom. Families decide to homeschool for many reasons. No longer can homeschoolers be lumped in to the religious zealot or tree hugger categories. The number of families in urban areas choosing to homeschool is also growing as well as in groups considered to be minorities. Many homeschoolers have a parent who stays home but many homeschoolers live in families where both parent’s work and more and more single parents can be found homeschooling now. Homeschooled children tend to be highly socialized, more active in their communities and more likely to attain a college degree. The only criteria for becoming a typical homeschool mom is that you believe you can provide a better education or situation for your child. If you don’t feel you can do so, homeschooling is not for you. Believe me, homeschooling is not for everybody. However, if you are not satisfied with your child’s education or just believe your child could benefit more from homeschooling, this may be an option worth examining. You could very well be a typical homeschool parent yourself.
2008 Update
Three years later, we are no longer homeschooling but I must report, homeschooling was a major success for us. For an update: http://www.squidoo.com/homeschoolingonceuponatime
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I think the mistake many of us make is thinking the-state-appointed shrink is our friend.
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