On Getting Called Out and Other Thoughts from the Afterlife Jul 17 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music Revelation [Digipak] by Journey From $12 Machine Gun Etiquette by The Damned From $40 The Bottom Line This is meaningless. You can imagine what it feels like to be called out by a Metallica fan, of all people. It made my manhood shrivel like a prune, and for the rest of the day, I walked around trying to rub some life back into the god d-amn thing. Honestly...no sooner than I grab my English degree does some headbanging metalfreak come and pick out an error in my vocabulary. A typo is one thing. Blatantly misusing a word is an entirely different beast. An untamable one. A herald of blind days to come. I feel the best thing to do might be to exact a slow revenge upon this individual, perhaps with a ceremonial Himalayan knife ritualistically used to sever goats' heads somewhere in the crags of Nepal. Yeah. That seems just about right, but it's not quite savage enough yet. Carving someone up is all well and good, but there must be some higher purpose whenever human sacrifice is under consideration. One must feed on the Flesh, the vital organs. Sap the power and absorb it. One shall see from new eyes--breathe from new lungs. The resurrection. This is all jabber. Bad jabber. The individual I'm prattling on about is a member of Epinions, in fact, althought I'm sure the more intuitive readers figured this one out on their own. Anyway, I don't mean to insinuate that I will, indeed, attack our good reviewer according to the means I've stipulated. He has done nothing yet to deserve any sort of onslaught whatsoever...that is, until I actually sit down and read his review on Metallica. Then I will have my firepower. The city will fall under the barrage. Vultures shall eat of the rubble. God d*mmit! When will there be respite from the horrors? It's always a dark day when King Pharmacist laces up his boots and throws on the smock and goes for a little stroll down the main thoroughfare. Move ye not through his wake, for it shall fly thee hence to the grave, which hath merciless scorn for the freshly dead.

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