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Big Nick bares all! (Let's Get Physical Write Off)Jul 31 '05 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Don't look at me like that! ***PLEASE READ FIRST!*** This write off is intended for MATURE audiences 18 & over. Please be aware this contains sexual overtures and is meant for entertainment purposes only. This is my entry to the Let’s Get Physical Write-Off, hosted by the sensational maggsmomm. Thanks for the opportunity to embarrass myself. I won't let you down. 1. When you see a hot, and I mean HOT guy/gal what is your first thought? Mine, mine, mine! (Please, please, please!) 2. Do you consider yourself well endowed? If so, details! It’s hard to be honest about this if you’re a guy, and it’s hard to believe feedback from women. But average, I’d say, according to the normal distribution. 3. Are you proud of your Assets? Which ones? I guess I do alright for myself. General build and torso region make the ladies go mad. No, seriously. Okay, maybe not mad per se. But anyway it’s still brought me good stuff. 4. Have you ever fantasized about someone else while with a partner? Elaborate... Yes. The worst example: her really close friend who was pretty similar in look and style and stuff, but way more um giving. Uh… Or so I heard. 5. Do you or have you ever used food for a kinky night? What types of foods? Nope. Of course, food may have played a part a few times in something that led to an interesting night, but that’s another story. Anyway, that’s all syrupy and honey kind of stuff. You know, the usual. 6. Have you ever been to a fun party? Have you bought anything? Expand on this one.... Again, no. Unless by fun you mean a party where everybody went there with the sole intention of jumping somebody (which pretty much describes most parties, I’d say). 7. What is your most exotic fantasy? Like all guys, I’ve got like a million fantasies, but I’m drawing a blank right now. Weird. 8. Do you own any exotic lingerie, toys, etc? No. They make toys for guys? What the …? 9. Are you a nympho? If not would you like to be? Obviously, I think about sex plenty. But I don’t get enough, and I understand that there’s such a thing as too much (increased reproductive activity must come as a tradeoff for some other form of biological activity – just ask the mussel that produces 400% of its regular body weight in sperm each breeding season). So I’ve got no intention of going there. How would I ever get anything done? 10. Does size matter? Why or why not? Depends. To some women, bigger is better, but there’s got to be an upper limit to that. And of course, there’s got to be a lower limit as well. I’d say talent and technique matter more, though. 11. Ever had intimate relations with more than one person? If so how many? Yes. Three. I kid you not, and yes it is possible. I felt like a god afterwards, but things got awkward real quick. I solved the problem by never ever speaking to any of them again, and basically staying as far away from them as possible. 12. If my sex life were a film title, it would be: *A Few Good Men *The Towering Inferno *Gone with the Wind *Somewhere in Time Man on the Run. Or maybe The Man Who Knew Too Little. You know, where the clueless guy stumbles around and just happens to get the mission accomplished. That sounds about right. 13. In the sack, you'd most describe your personality as: *A naughty, filthy, dirty little ho! *Pervy in that creepy Dennis Hopper kinda way a little bit shy, but a little bit kinky too. *All business and you aim to please? *Something of a do-me queen, kind of vanilla, but nobody's ever complained! I honestly don’t even know who Dennis Hopper is. But that sounds about right. Or maybe the first option. I don’t know. Guess I’ll have to question some folks and maybe give a better answer later. 14. You are in the mood for sex... *All the time - morning, noon and night *Rarely - you just can't summon up the time, energy or interest. *At least once or twice a month *Every weekend, but you find it difficult initiating it All the time. 15. What kind of build-up to the sex do you usually have? Details..... Kinda hard to find a general pattern. Verbal foreplay is pretty much a requirement. Caressing and long kisses and the touchy-feely stuff, all that kinda stuff is all well and good, but sometimes you’ve got to do without. Details? Hell no! If you want them, you’ll have to meet me one-on-one. And wear something nice. That’s easy to get out of. Tuesday good for you? 16. How many O's can you have if at all? One at a time. But they add up over a long night… 17. The best part of sex is... *Mmm, there are too many good parts to choose *Hmm, it's been so long I can't remember *Spending some quality time with your partner *The touching and caressing Too many good parts. I’m quite partial to the part where the funny faces come into play. Or maybe that’s just me. 18. Have you ever taken medications/alcohol to enhance your love life? Alcohol has occasionally played a part in my love life, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t provide any physical enhancement. Ditto for some other substance abuse. But nothing designed for what you’re talking about. 19. You go on a date with a great guy/girl, but he/she doesn't lay a hand on you the entire night. You think he/she must: *Not be attracted to you *Be gay *Want to take it slow Tough to say. If it’s a real date, and we both know what it’s all about, then I’d probably think the first one (I really hate making the first move on a date, unless it looks like a good move). But if there’s any kind of ambiguity involved, I’m fine with it. The gay idea only ever crossed my mind once (and I still don’t know if she has a taste for the ladies, but I’m absolutely certain she has no problem with guys). 20. What is your favorite body part of the opposite sex? The opposite sex is so amazingly insanely wonderful to behold that I have no idea where to start. My standard answer is something like eyes and smile, but if we’re talking proper body parts, I’d have to say that dimple region on the lower back. Or maybe the legs. Yep, those are good too. & last but not least....... 21~Will you still (s)talk to me tomorrow? Not a chance in hell. Nah, I’m kidding. I can’t promise I’ll make eye contact, though. ; ) If you wish to view more examples of perversity and depravity, go here. And again, respect to maggsmom for providing this kind of insanity.  |
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