*Let's Get Physical Write Off* Aug 01 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 Mai by Eri Sugai From $4 The Bottom Line Why when I think physical, I can´t get my last prostate exam out of my head¿ For mature readers only, for crying out loud Here goes with my literary sperm sample contribution to Jana´s: http://www.epinions.com/user-maggsmomm *Let's Get Physical Write Off* 1~When you see a hot, and I mean HOT guy/gal what is your first thought? ANSWER: For God´s sake, a fire extinguisher. Quick man¡¡¡ 2~Do you consider yourself well endowed? If so, details! ANSWER: Well, I´ve got my pension. It pays the bills, thats about all. 3~Are you proud of you Assets? Which ones? ANSWER: Yes. Jacinta and Gaspar. Couldn´t be prouder. 4~Have you ever fantasized about someone else while with a partner? Elaborate... ANSWER: You know, those 10 hour shifts in a squad car on a slow night were thought provoking. I admit, I did have occasional thoughts of Jack Webb and Angie Dickinson. 5~Do you or have you ever used food for a kinky night? What types of foods? ANSWER: Sure. I regularly masturbate during dinner. We don´t go out much. 6~Have you ever been to a fun party? Have you bought anything? Expand on this one.... ANSWER: A "fun party"¿ Is that a hep cat way of saying Tupperware¿ I buy anything I can burp. And I mean that in an entirely non-pedophile way. 7~What is your most exotic fantasy? ANSWER: Breakfast in bed with the entire list of my 2004 Girls of Epinions calendar. Just the list, not the girls. I might hurt one of them with my massive, blood engorged pension. 8~Do you own any exotic lingerie, toys, etc? If so describe them! ANSWER: I have the entire Star Wars Obewankanobe action figure set. No lingerie. Too french. I don´t much like french. 9~Are you a nympho? If not would you like to be? ANSWER: I´m married. Obviously not. 10~Does size matter? Why or why not? ANSWER: Yes. I try to order the soft cover, because the hardcover is much more expensive when you include shipping. 11~Ever had intimate relations with more than one person? If so how many? ANSWER: Three. Me, myself and I 12~If my sex life were a film title, it would be: *A Few Good Men *The Towering Inferno *Gone with the Wind *Somewhere in Time ANSWER: Jeez Jana, thanks for sharing that bit of information, but I thought this was my gig. My title would be: "Guess who´s coming at dinner."* *Refer to question #5 13~In the sack, you'd most describe your personality as: *A naughty, filthy, dirty little ho! *Pervy in that creepy Dennis Hopper kinda way a little bit shy, but a little bit kinky too. *All business and you aim to please? *Something of a do-me queen, kind of vanilla, but nobody's ever complained! ANSWER: I most certainly would not¡ Libel, nothing less than libel, I say. Jana, I shall report you to Epinions Abuse if you insist on telling everyone how I describe myself¡¡¡ 14~You are in the mood for sex... *All the time - morning, noon and night *Rarely - you just can't summon up the time, energy or interest. *At least once or twice a month *Every weekend, but you find it difficult initiating it ANSWER: Rarely, but my wife still thinks I´m impotent. She says I´m so impotent, I should be in Who´s Who. I´m her VIP- Very Impotent Person. She says if Wilde were alive today, he´d write, "The Impotence of Being garym". I must be quite the stud to get that kind of praise. 15~What kind of build-up to the sex do you usually have? Details..... ANSWER: Well, first blood builds up in my penis, then I offload a build up of spermies. 16~How many O's can you have if at all? ANSWER: I can easily have four or more...... in a good month. 17~The best part of sex is... *Mmm, there are too many good parts to choose *Hmm, it's been so long I can't remember *Spending some quality time with your partner *The touching and caressing ANSWER: Quite a statement there, Jana. Have you ever considered a political career¿ Everyone guys knows the best part is rolling over and beginning the sleep of the Gods. 18~Have you ever taken medications/alcohol to enhance your love life? ANSWER: Yes 19~You go on a date with a great guy/girl, but he/she doesn't lay a hand on you the entire night. You think he/she must: *Not be attracted to you *Be gay *Want to take it slow ANSWER: "GUY/GIRL", "HE/SHE"¿ Apparently were talking transvestite, here. Not that there is anything wrong with being a transvestite. 20~What is your favorite body part of the opposite sex? ANSWER: The mouth...... SHUT¡ & last but not least....... 21~Will you still (s)talk to me tomorrow? ANSWER: Loyalty is one of my best qualities. Now get out of here before somebody sees us together. For more physical fun: http://www.epinions.com/content_4457209988

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