Let's Get Physical Write-Off - Getting Nasty With The Freak Aug 04 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 Mai by Eri Sugai From $4 The Bottom Line There goes my soccer mom image .. *PLEASE READ FIRST!* This W/O is intended for MATURE audiences 18 & over. This piece contains sexual overtures & is meant for entertainment purposes only. Jana sez: Fill in answers to the questions below-don't be shy, let it all hang out. Be creative, funny, honest if you dare. Do not be afraid to elaborate, even big fish tales will be accepted. This is for fun-don't take it or yourself seriously! Now get it going!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1~When you see a hot, and I mean HOT guy/gal what is your first thought? 1. Look to see if there is a wedding ring. 2. Look to see if there is a tan line where a wedding ring should be. 3. Check out the butt. 2~Do you consider yourself well endowed? If so, details! Yes and no. The breasts are enhanced cosmetically so I am not sure if that counts or not. 3~Are you proud of you Assets? Which ones? People say I have nice legs ... and of course the breasts. Sometimes people talk directly to them as if I didn’t have ears. 4~Have you ever fantasized about someone else while with a partner? Elaborate... Hummm .... tricky question. Yes. Rocco Sifreddi is probably the one that pops into my head the most often. I will put it bluntly. I like sex but not when it drags on for over a half hour without someone getting off. That’s when I start looking around thinking “Wow, I really need to paint the ceiling” or “I have to remember to get potting soil tomorrow”. Don’t get me wrong, doing the “all night thing” is all well and good but there has to be some kind of release every so often or I get bored. 5~Do you or have you ever used food for a kinky night? What types of foods? Gosh, this is getting pretty invasive Jana. Yes. I won’t go into explicit details but I will say this - I had a fantasy about having sex in a bathtub full of spaghetti and mentioned this to someone, low and behold, I walk in the bathroom and see it filled a little less than half way with it. Of course there are the usual things .. peanut butter, whipped cream, strawberries, Altoid mints ... you’d be surprised what a few well placed ice cubes can do to spice things up. 6~Have you ever been to a fun party? Have you bought anything? Expand on this one... I am assuming that this is different from an All Girl Tupperware Party ... if you don’t know what that means .. I am not telling.. 7~What is your most exotic fantasy? Oh gosh, I don’t think there is enough time or bandwith to go into a lot of details so I will give the Reader’s Digest version. Huge castle, dead of winter, fire raging, candles everywhere, cold marble floor, a couple bottles of wine, Glenn Danzig’s Black Aria pr Type O Negative’s Bloody Kisses playing ... and not a clock, cell phone or person within ten miles. If you can completely let go and not be afraid of freaking the other person out with screams, scratches and the dirty talk .. to me that is one of the hottest scenarios possible. 8~Do you own any exotic lingerie, toys, etc? If so describe them! Leather body suit ... and as far as the toys.. I am taking the fifth. 9~Are you a nympho? If not would you like to be? Humm. Sex is something that I do think about often but I don’t act on it when the urge strikes. To me it’s better to let it build up for a while then spring an attack on someone. There’s nothing like denying yourself something then finally giving in to the urge, it makes it that much more intense when the big bang does happen. 10~Does size matter? Why or why not? To me it doesn’t and I know that sounds like a crock of crap but it isn’t. You can be with a guy that is huge and he doesn’t have the first clue as to what he is doing with it. Either that or they are awesome in bed but dumb as a rock when you try to have a conversation with them. Likewise, I think that guys watch way too many pornos and try to mimic what they see on the screen. Having sex like a jackrabbit on crack might look like it is enjoyable but it isn’t. 11~Ever had intimate relations with more than one person? If so how many? Ahh the misgivings of youth. Yes, in the past there have been a few threesomes. As for the rest of the details ... those are a secret. 12~If my sex life were a film title, it would be: *A Few Good Men *The Towering Inferno *Gone with the Wind *Somewhere in Time I am going off the boards with this one - it would have to be one of the following: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”, “American Thighs” [a take off on American Pie] or “Into The Fire”. 13~In the sack, you'd most describe your personality as: *A naughty, filthy, dirty little ho! *Pervy in that creepy Dennis Hopper kinda way a little bit shy, but a little bit kinky too. *All business and you aim to please? *Something of a do-me queen, kind of vanilla, but nobody's ever complained! Again, I am going off the boards. I might look like a librarian but behind closed doors [or behind bushes at the amusement park] ... it’s a whole different story. 14~You are in the mood for sex... *All the time - morning, noon and night *Rarely - you just can't summon up the time, energy or interest. *At least once or twice a month *Every weekend, but you find it difficult initiating it 15~What kind of build-up to the sex do you usually have? Details..... I like to drag things out until there is a lot of tension. You know, so you are ready to just jump on someone and slay them. To me there is something so hot about teasing someone, leaving them dirty voicemail messages, tucking a pair of dirty underwear in their briefcase or even sending them some provocative Polaroid’s. Sex is nice but half of getting off is foreplay. Most people think that there has to be some physical contact to get the fire started, sometimes all it takes is an evil grin or a wicked glance. 16~How many O's can you have if at all? It depends on how many times I say the alphabet. Hardy har har. The record is over twenty but I am gifted that way. Once the first one hits the hard part is over [no pun intended], after that it’s a recurring kind of thing. If it’s a solo flight I am usually pretty satisfied with one ...but if a guy is whispering nasty things in my ear it’s an almost effortless type of thing. Once that first one is out of the way, something as small as a deep kiss is enough to do the job. 17~The best part of sex is... *Mmm, there are too many good parts to choose *Hmm, it's been so long I can't remember *Spending some quality time with your partner *The touching and caressing I am going off the boards again .. it’s the aural things - moans, groans, grunts, screams - that get to me. Of course an occasional crack on the bummie never hurt either. Yeah, I’m sick like that. I guess that soccer mom image is complete shattered now. 18~Have you ever taken medications/alcohol to enhance your love life? Not to directly help things but once I took them .. it led to sex. Absinth and horny goat weed. One guy took a Viagra to see what it would do. We sat there watching the clock to see how long it would take before it kicked in. It was pretty funny, two adults sitting there looking at each other. “Anything yet?” ... “No, wait, no, that was gas.” I guess you had to be there to get the humor. 19~You go on a date with a great guy/girl, but he/she doesn't lay a hand on you the entire night. You think he/she must: *Not be attracted to you *Be gay *Want to take it slow Off the boards again ... it all depends on the situation and the person. If there’s no action after three dates, it’s time to move on. 20~What is your favorite body part of the opposite sex? Hummm .. I can’t pass up a nice butt but I generally get into guys with an awesome personality. If they can make me laugh then I am putty in their hands. They have to be able to talk to me without words ... that stolen glance, evil grin, deep dark laugh .. I put a lot more emphasis on how a person acts and makes me feel over what they look like. I ripped this off after reading Doc’s summation. I wasn’t invited to this so I hope I am not intruding on some ultra secret club. But I gotta ask this ... why no questions about anal sex? Or the weirdest place you ever did it. Maybe Jana will do a part two when this is all over with ... if so there are tons of other questions to be asked. Some questions I’d like to suggest for round two .... Do you watch adult films? Have indulged in the third input [anal sex]? Where is the weirdest place you ever had sex? Have you ever been busted doing the deed? Do you have any erotic body piercings? What sexual event stands out as the most intense experience? Are you part of the “Mile High Club”? What’s the most erotic word you can think of? What’s something that someone can do to you or around you that gets you worked up? Jana ... tell me there’s gonna be a part two!

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