A write-off for Ed Grover: His own words make the case
Aug 30 '05 (Updated Nov 04 '05)
The Bottom Line Ed Grover is a kind, thoughtful and encouraging person. He's also a terrific reviewer. Here's some proof. There is much more in his 330 reviews.
Tributes, send-offs, Festschrifts, are very like simpler wakes for those lost to us, and very like simpler vigils for the gravely ill: they are as much – perhaps more – for the bereft or those who shall be, than for those who are going on before. There is a healing balm for the soul that is instinct in the elegiac mode.
Those soothing words and many more wonders are from Markham Shaw Pyle in his glowing praise of Ed Grover and of Jan Morris' Trieste and the Meaning of Nowhere.
There will be a write-off in honor of ed_grover, whom Jiahong describes with marvelous aptness as an "exemplar of graciousness, discernment, and fun!" We hope to show our appreciation for Ed's invaluable, incalculable contributions to Epinions and to the people who have written here. Details about that event are at the bottom of this piece, following a brief catalogue of some of Ed's own words.
As part of the Over 40 Write-off that Epinions members artbyjude, BrendaMetcalf and granniemose hosted in 2002, Ed posted a spirited piece that includes the following:
We aren’t very fond of having someone say, “Oh, do you still ______?” You can fill in the blank with phrases like “play tennis,” “hike” or “swim” or any other activity you don’t think you should see old people doing. When I’m out riding my bike and I hear someone make comments about it, I tell them that they have an ageist assumption that “old equals decrepit,” and it ain’t true! Some are amazed and agree. Some are shocked that an old man would dare to speak up.
No one who is fortunate enough to have read Ed's wonderful reviews would be shocked. In the almost six years that he has been a vital part of Epinions, this energetic and energizing man who is old only chronologically has dared to speak up about all manner of things. That's lucky for us. Without Ed, this site would be a less lively, less interesting place.
Ed describes one bad book as having "a translucent plastic cover, sort of like it was sheathed in a condom." He derides Edmund Backhouse, the author of a discredited biography of Tsu Hsi (Dowager Empress of China) as "a bitter and unhappy homosexual of the type who gives the rest of us a bad name." Ed's appreciation of clothes and colognes by Ralph Lauren left him surprised that the designer's sheets are flimsy: "They're disintegrating. They're falling apart. I'd love to be able to take them all and dump the whole mess right on the doorstep of his flagship store in New York City. It would serve him right."
If that doesn't sound like much harsh criticism, it's because Ed doesn't write a lot of that. He acknowledges that the one about Ralph Lauren sheets is "one of my rare negative reviews!" Far more often, Ed is eager to share with his readers something that has brought him joy and that he thinks we will enjoy as well.
Ed has pointed us towards a vegetarian restaurant in Milwaukee that sounds superior: "It's understandable that this place is among the most popular restaurants on Milwaukee's very gay East Side. If you want great food in a laid back atmosphere that won't leave you penniless and may help to clean out your arteries, this is it. This is the place for you. I have yet to meet a dish here I didn't like."
He has guided us to a sunscreen he relies on: "One thing I liked was that there wasn't a long list of tiny printing on the bottle telling us the chemical names of what's in this stuff. The bottle lists Active Sunscreen Ingredients as Octinoxate and Octistate and that's it. The rest of it is made of exotic flora, fruit and nut extracts . . . what I've always called 'Oils of the Wilderness' and let it go at that. There are moisturizing ingredients and vitamins A, C & E that help fight the signs of photo-aging, a term used to describe skin damage caused by intense and chronic exposure to sunlight. If that freaks you out and you want to know more about it, just Google the term 'photo-aging' and you'll find all kinds of information."
And Ed has recommended one of his favorite scents: "Hermès Eau D’Orange Verte is a luxury and an indulgence that everyone should allow themselves at least once in their lifetimes. A silk scarf or two wouldn't hurt either."
Ed has reviewed many of the murder mysteries and histories he enjoys, but he is perhaps best known and loved for his many, many analyses of books and magazines about people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered (LGBT). He champions Charles Kaiser's deserving The Gay Metropolis: "All the good news we hear about is not to be outdone by the information on the right wing and religious-right extremists who are carefully documented from the 40s onward. We get the names of every person and every organization who fought us tooth and nail; all those people who tried to take our humanity, dignity and diversity away from us." Ed identifies as essential Out for Good: The Struggle to Build a Gay Rights Movement in America: "*New York Times* writers Clendinen and Nagourney have come up with the definitive history of the last great civil rights struggle of the twentieth century. Although we are still struggling to accomplish many goals, this is a great book to have in our libraries for reference." And Ed is charmed by Linda DeHaan's King & King, a delightfully subversive story in which two princes realize that the princesses applying for their hands in marriage are not for them: "The stained glass windows resemble those by Matisse and everything is very colorful and very happy looking. All the princesses who applied attend with their fathers. There are lots of crowns and the Queen sheds a tear as the two princes are now announced as King & King. After the wedding there is a big beautiful cake and fireworks for everyone."
Ed loves cook books, too. He's reviewed one by, among many others, Martha Stewart, with whom he suggests being patient: "If you are too busy raising a family or whatever, just take her with a grain of salt and wait until the kids leave and then do all of her cute stuff." And Alice B. Toklas: "This amusing book, published in 1954, became famous with the hippie generation for the inclusion of one recipe, Haschich Fudge. The poor dear didn’t even know what the stuff was. Neither she nor Gertrude did drugs of any kind and they rarely drank more than a glass of wine. The recipe was puritanically removed from the first US of A version, but here it is in this thirtieth-anniversary version on page 259.") And Julia Child and Jacque Peppin: It's ". . . a winner! I certainly wouldn't let it anywhere near my kitchen; it's just too beautiful and my kitchen is too small. It might very well be a kitchen book for the person who has a kitchen the size of a small ballroom with a large seating area and shelving to hold books. For me, this is a coffee table book. It's a book you read in your living room; you take notes from it so you can follow them when you get in the kitchen and do whatever it is you have decided you are going to follow to the letter."
Ed's broad interest in books has taken him to one about a modern traveller's journeys through land once ruled by Cleopatra: "I didn't read this book because of what's happening in Iraq and the surrounding environs, but it sure clued me in to what the area was like well before 9/11. I always leave the TV on while I read and more and more I was reminded of what seemed to be our unfortunate observations of Islam and the Middle East. Robert Tewdwr Moss's remarkable memoir reminds us that this mysterious land doesn't make its secrets known that easily. This book is full of his memories of the fascinating people he met." And the Sea of Cortez: "We read about sea-hares, a type of slug that reproduce so prolifically that within a few generations they would overflow the earth if it wasn’t for the fact that most of them serve as food for something else." And Milwaukee's art museum: "The lobby and atrium is stunning with the brise-soliel over it and a giant Alexander Calder mobile spinning lazily away near the entrance. It used to live at our (now International) airport but was not much noticed and was moved to its new home where it is greatly appreciated.")
Ed has a wonderful way of writing about himself when he writes about the broad variety of books, movies, travel topics and other subjects he critiques. He weaves into his work relevant and revealing bits of autobiography. These can be serious, as when he recommends a book that's important to him, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:
I went to my first AA meeting on August 1 of 1984. That’s a little over 17 years ago and I haven’t regretted a minute. Oh, I hear I fussed and fumed a lot about going to all those meetings the first year. I remember doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but that’s all a distant memory and it seems little enough to have paid to regain my sanity.
Or they can be less serious, including this from his recommendation of a quiche pan:
My friends know what I’m bringing when they see me carrying this dish into their house from the car. This French White 10” Quiche/Pie Pan was actually the first piece of Corningware I ever owned. It’s stood me in good stead for nearly twenty years and is as white and attractive as the first day I got it. To be honest, it was so long ago I don’t even remember what I paid for it, but knowing me it was on sale.
ED AND ME
Ed has made me less dull, which is not to say he is to blame for the dullness that remains. Before I came across his writing, I knew the thrilling sound of Bessie Smith's voice. It wasn't until I followed Ed's guidance to Jackie Kay's terrific biography of Smith that I knew about the extraordinary life that shaped her genius. Because of Ed, I've also learned that Oscar Wilde's niece is as interesting as he is, ESPN Magazine is inferior to Sports Illustrated and E.F. Benson wrote splendid ghost stories.
Sometimes the enthusiasm in Ed's writing impresses even when it doesn't convince. I might, for example, be gay enough to follow the guidance Ed gives in his suggestively titled review of The Gay Kama Sutra, A Little More That Way. Uh, No, The Other Way!, but even I'm not gay enough to care about Elizabeth Taylor's Love Affair with Jewelry.
THE ED GROVER APPRECIATION WRITE-OFF
Entries to be posted any time in September, 2005.
Epinions stalwart ed_grover is not well. He has lung cancer and is not expected to live much longer than six or nine months. We want to give Ed some sense of how important he is to us and we're hoping you'll take part.
The rule is simple: Write anything you like.
Post a message in the Member Center or Writer's Corner to tell the Epinions Community what Ed means to you. Put something on your profile page. Review something that Ed guided you to. Review something you think Ed would like, or something that he might have reviewed if he had gotten to it. Try to write in Ed's style or keep it in your own. Write one piece or many.
If you do write something, please send a link to: eplovejoy@yahoo.com
The link to your contribution(s) will be sent to Ed. It also will be posted here:
ENTRIES
Aug. 27: kcfoxy
Aug. 28: jkkelley
Aug. 30: popsrocks
Aug. 31: Stephen_Murray and Stephen, again
Sept. 2: prfstars
Sept. 2: macresarf1
Sept. 3: cr01
Sept. 3: fuche_bu
Sept. 4: mshawpyle, and Markham again and again
Sept. 4: CurtisEdmonds
Sept. 5: millinocket
Sept. 5: nwinston
Sept. 6: pogomom
Sept. 6: ifif1938
Sept. 6: WulfsDen
Sept. 8: kamel622
Sept. 8: gaelkm
Sept. 9: faithforever
Sept. 9: dramastef
Sept. 9: jankp
Sept. 13: Granniemose
Sept. 13: eplovejoy
Sept. 13: jankp, again, this time as Dr. Freudine
Sept. 14: Stephen_Murray and Jiahong
Sept. 14: pilarzmom
Sept. 15: 2buzy
Sept. 16: iluvbirds
Sept. 24: Bryan_Carey
Sept. 29: pmills1210
Sept. 29: The man himself joins in. Ed shares a delightful recommendation of The Essence Of Style: How The French Invented High Fashion, Fine Food, Chic Cafes, Style, Sophistication, And Glamour! by Joan DeJean.
Sept. 30: Ricardo_Ramos and Ricardo again
In keeping with long-standing Epinions tradition, not all the entries made it in before the flexible deadline:
Oct. 1: klueger
Oct. 5: a collection of LGBT-related speeches and writing
Oct. 15: DAnneC
Oct. 18: tbthorn
Oct. 20 and 21: drdevience and Doc again
Oct. 22: msmorvay
Oct. 23: Ricardo_Ramos
Oct. 26: Stephen_Murray
Nov. 3: plorentz
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Epinions.com ID:
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Member: Peter William Warn
Location: Buffalo, New York
Reviews written: 351
Trusted by: 304 members
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