Marley Bit Me in the Behind... Big Time
Written: Dec 31 '08 (Updated Dec 31 '08)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: A few funny dog scenes
Cons: This movie is so depressing it's beyond ridiculous
The Bottom Line: Marley & Me is the most depressing and sick movie I've ever seen.
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| lyoness913's Full Review: Marley & Me |
This Christmas my family and I went to visit my parents in Canada as we normally do. We decided to go and see our annual 'Christmas Movie' and we had heard that Marley & Me was supposed to be cute and funny. We all have dogs we love, so we decided to skip the other main events and see this 'K-9 Lovers' film. None of us had ever read the book entitled the same by John Grogan, and we were all too busy to read any real reviews. After sitting through Marley & Me, I have to say that I have never, ever, ever in my life seen anything so depressing and horrible. After we all had finished our collective sobbing (and I mean, the kind of uncontrollable sobbing which makes strange, throat-like gasping noises), we all left in a bizarre fog questioning why such a movie would ever be made, and why anyone in their right mind would want to watch it.
Marley & Me begins hopeful, as we see John Grogan (Owen Wilson) and his brand new wife Jennifer (Jennifer Anniston) discuss their plan as newlyweds. They move to Florida and each gets respective jobs in journalism. As a nervous husband, John is afraid that Jennifer will want to start a family soon and he decides a dog may curb her pre-baby urges. The couple adopt a Golden Lab which, for some reason, is cheaper than the others at the breeder. John calls the puppy 'Marley' because he seems to like music from Bob Marley.
Right away we see that the dog is quite a chore to train. In fact, Marley is almost untrainable. He chews through dry wall, pees all over the furniture and roots through the garbage and the toilet water. When Jennifer and John take a vacation and leave Marley with a dog sitter, they come home to find a ruined house and a crazed sitter who calls the dog 'the devil.' The movie moves on with the life of John and Jennifer with their dog.
Jennifer has a miscarriage. Not only does the movie tell of this tragic occurance, but it shows the doctor trying to find the heart beat of the 10 week old fetus, unsuccessfully. I think that this, among several other features in the movie, could and should have been left out. When the couple have children successfully, John becomes a column writer, inspired by several of the situations which arrive from Marley's behaviour problems. The movie even shows John wading through Marley's mango-coloured poop in order to retrieve a necklace that Marley swallowed.
The couple move to bigger homes and then eventually to Philadelphia. Of course, the children grow up and the dog gets old. I won't spoil the ending for anyone who still wants to see this film, but I can say that it lacks any tact whatsoever and it is the most depressing ending I've ever seen in a movie.
My whole family left Marley & Me feeling absolutely depressed. I had to go home and have a glass of wine. It literally made me feel nauseous, and I could barely even eat my wonderful meal of fresh fish from Lake Erie. I will never forget how shocking and uncomfortable this movie made me feel in several scenes, and I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone with a heart. I will admit, I am an 'easy crier' when it comes to movies, but when I heard my father and my hubby sobbing and gasping for air, I knew that this was something that took 'sadness' way over the edge. As I said before, I am not entirely sure why someone would make a movie like this and of all things, release it as a Christmas film. Christmas is supposed to be a time for happiness and joy, but Marley & Me took a little of the Christmas magic away from me this year, and I will never even think about watching this movie again.
1 star
Recommended:
No
Movie Mood: None of the Above
Viewing Method: Sneak Preview at My Local Theater
Film Completeness: A few glitches, but mostly complete.
Worst Part of this Film: Ending
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Epinions.com ID:
lyoness913
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Location: Overland Park, KS
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Missing Epinions! Soo busy with kids!!
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