So Many Words Nov 23 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Books Mildred D. Taylor - Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry: A Literature Unit From $8 Olivier Dunrea - Ollie From $7 The Bottom Line Here's to Ed Grover, one of my most important epinioners ever. It's too bad for me and my own fault that I haven't visited epinions much lately. I've let myself get busy with school, work, and life. We all know, we've all had these lags. I finally am getting time (little by little) to visit now and then, though I rarely have time to write epinions anymore, unfortunately. I try to keep up with my friends on here as best I can having been somewhat removed for a long time. It's my own fault, and I had begun to think, "Ah, well, it's just another internet community that I'll let fade, as usual." This 'internet community,' however, is different. Though I've never met most of the people on here, I still come here for advice and to make myself feel better. Its such a cozy, friendly place where I've actually learned a lot more about myself and others than I ever thought possible. There are a handful of people on here that I really admire, which strikes me odd as, like I said, I've never met them. I could go through them, much like I did for a few in my Thank You piece I did almost two years ago. In this "Thank You," I did mention a few people that are pretty cool, and on my profile, I also mention helpful names most epinioners are probably familiar with. Ed Grover. He's one of the first people who come to mind when I think of this place, and for good reason. Ed first "came into my life" so to speak when he began rating my epinions, and he really caught my attention with a comment he left on a review of mine called A Secret No One Should Have to Keep. The book is about sexuality, and Ed left me a powerful, though short message about himself. He interested me, and I began reading his reviews as often as I could. What an awesome person, I thought, that could share so much about his interesting life with people like me. I have since added several people to my WOT and as is probably obvious to many people, I've had trouble keeping up with everyone. I felt bad, especially for people who always read my reviews, as infrequently or frequently as I wrote them. I just couldn't and still can't keep up. I've come to accept that some people will forgive me for this and others won't, but I've got to take time to do the things that I want to do, whatever they are. Look, I know I'm getting off subject now, but really, I'm not. I've been away for several months, more than a year actually, only coming back when it's convenient for me. I apologize, but I have to say I've learned a lot. A close family friend, a member of my dad's band who's known me all my life, a guy who always teased me, saying, "You're looking about 16, now aren't, Laura?" when he knew for a fact I was only 13, a guy who always told my parents what beautiful girls they had, a guy who was the jokester of the band, who always had something funny -and nice- to say... recently passed away of lung cancer, which he suffered hard and fast from over the past several months. I wish I had known him better. I know that seems to have come from nowhere, but it's just one of the things I've secondarily dealt with over the past year; one of the few things that've taught me... a lot. I look back on the events, including the things that are going on now in my life, the things I keep wondering when will improve, the things that seem to be tearing me apart, the things that make me doubt myself and the way I've lived my life, and I realize that it's supposed to be like this. I can't please everyone, but at the same time I can't avoid things either. I saw this write-off that seems to be over, and I thought I'd pass it up. I haven't talked to Ed in so long, nor have I had a chance to read his reviews. What a good friend I've been. I though it would be to hard to write right now. It'd be too hard to say something from the heart about someone I look up to that I've never really met. I didn't want to spend the time when I could be on my way out of the house (as I actually was), when I could be going out with friends. I'm going through my own problems in this exact moment, and I didn't want thinking about something like this to upset me as easily as I thought it probably would. (It did: I'm definitely crying.) But I had to. I know, Ed, that I don't know you very well. I know I haven't done much reading and rating, let alone keeping in touch. As little as we've ever talked, you always treat me so nicely and politely and I can't tell you how much I've appreciated it. I love reading your reviews, and I especially love the detail you put about your own personal life. You're open and honest, and it's taught me alot. You're truly inspiring, and that's not something I say about many people. I have so many words, and I guess I just am not good at expressing myself and saying them. All I can think to say now is thank you. Thanks for sticking around, thanks for reading, rating, and responding so frequently with real words, ideas and thoughts. Thanks for being the person you are. Thanks for everything, and with my luck, I hope a Meet n Greet will someday be nearby me so I can really meet you. To one of the most awesome people around epinions!

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