"this sh*t is bananas!": the top 40 singles of 2005 (20-1) Dec 22 '05    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music Revelation [Digipak] by Journey From $12 Machine Gun Etiquette by The Damned From $40 The Bottom Line Singles was cute, but definitely not Cameron Crowe's best movie. Back for more, are we? Fine, I suppose I can oblige. But first, you have to familiarize yourself with Part 1. All good now? Great! Then proceed. 20. "Tribulations," LCD Soundsystem. 19. "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House," LCD Soundsystem. There are two reasons that I want to pick up LCD Soundsystem's self-titled album: "Tribulations" is one. "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House" is the other. Forget all the hipster cred, the positive Pitchfork reviews, and how cool i'll inevitably become if I own it: these two songs alone have sold me. These beats have burrowed deep into my brain, and stayed there. I dance to them, even when they're not on. I get on Rhapsody just to play them back to back. I'd have a dance party in my living room to these songs, if I didn't think folks would get carried away dancing and slosh their drinks all over Mom's nice green and white rugs. "H-OW-OW!" 18. "Pon de Replay," Rihanna. "You want to groove, I'm-a show you how to mooooooove..." Oh, man. As played out as the "turn it up, mister DJ"-style song is, Rihanna's "Pon de Replay" inevitably had my hips swingin' in the most inopportune of places: the supermarket, the street, the driver's seat in rush hour. Now, unlike LCD Soundsystem, I don't want to buy Rihanna's album. I just want to buy an mp3 of "Pon de Replay," burn it to a cd with a bunch of other rump-shakin' songs (that beat is irresistable, I'm tellin' you, irresistable), and have a party. You're all invited, natch. 17. "Go!," Common. I love Common - you can't help but love him. Still, as much as I adore Com as a lyricist, "Go!" is all about the music. Kanye and John Mayer, of all people, are the two people responsible for the most chill, breezy, smooved-out beat of the year - as far as the lyrics, I find that I can rap along with it at the time that I'm hearing it, but when I try to think of it without having it nearby, all I remember is Mayer's "go!" (sampled from some song that I'll never listen to), "freaky like the daughter of a pas-tor", and that beat, oh God, that beat. 16. "La Tortura," Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz. See, this is why I kind of like being lyrically left in the dark: I have no way of knowing whether or not "La Tortura" is actually completely inept. I can assume it's not, because it's Shakira, and her latest album of songs that I can understand was Oral Fixation Vol. 2, which was inspired, kooky, and awesome, but I don't know for certain. Of course, I suppose I could learn Spanish, or at least run the lyrics through a free 'net translator. But not knowing what Shakira and Sanz are singing about is half the fun. Without lyrics to concentrate on, all that remains is vocal cadence (good) and groove (soooo good). To recap: "La Tortura" scores on all fronts. 15. "So Here We Are," Bloc Party. I'm holding Liz personally responsible for me hearing "So Here We Are," of course. Some of these songs (most of them) I heard completely by coincidence, on the radio or on the VH1 or something; still others were album tracks (Common, System of a Down) that I just happened to find out were singles, thus allowing them a place on this list. Liz put "So Here We Are" on a mix cd for me (one that I will review, soon, promise), and I found out that it was a single later on. I bought the album, too, but I haven't listened to it yet. Still, let it be known that the strength of "So Here We Are" - essentially a pretty indie-pop ballad with a punk basher behind the drumkit - has sparked an interest, delayed as that interest may be, in rock-crit darlings Bloc Party. 14. "Testify," Common. Two and a half of the most exciting minutes of music in 2005. I got chills when I first heard this; the sample lends a lot to the atmosphere, but Kanye's bed of percussion, and the piano that comes in under the sample, and Com's passionate delivery - damn! If you haven't heard "Testify," you're soo missing out. 13. "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson. It's impossible to deny this: "Since U Been Gone" is _the_ pop single of the year to get a bigass sloppy kiss from music snobs everywhere. Another undeniable fact: it's difficult to include a song like this on a list like this without wondering if everyone's gonna accuse you of bandwagon-jumping. Third fact, though, and this is key: "Since U Been Gone" is .. well, it's damn near beautiful, isn't it? It's arena-rock filtered through chick-pop, relayed through an uncommonly charismatic and powerhouse vocalist, liberating, cathartic, and, oh, catchy, so catchy. 12. "Best of You," Foo Fighters. Their experiment in yin-and-yang double-album excess, In Your Honor, might have just fallen short of my top 20 albums of the year list, but that was more to the fault of the mildly pleasing - but sleepy - acoustic disc. The Foos have always excelled at big rock, modern alt-rock's answer to arena-rock, with big screamy choruses and pleasant soft/loud dynamics; "Best of You" is no exception. With each subsequent single it seems the Foos get more reliable at delivering to us exactly what they know we like (and exactly what we know they do best): "Best of You," just as screamy and big-rock as "All My Life" and "My Hero" and "Everlong," is another in a long line of instant pop classics, and it might be the best one yet. 11. "Diamonds From Sierra Leone (Remix)," Kanye West feat. Jay-Z. Kanye co-opting both Shirley Bassey and the "forever-ever?" part of "Ms. Jackson"? Just the tip of the iceberg. One of West's best efforts as a rhymer, "Diamonds" is introspective, smart, and perfectly constructed. And then - THEN! - "what's up with you and Jay, man?/ are y'all okay, man?" "YUP! I got it from here, 'Ye, damn!" His ass can retire all he wants, but a year-end list wouldn't be the same without at least a cameo appearance from Jay. "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man!" 10. "Mr. Brightside," The Killers. Between "Mr. Brightside" and "Somebody Told Me," The Killers duped me into buying a shit album. But disregard Hot Fuss for a second: let's dwell on "Mr. Brightside" for a while, easily the rock and roll singalong of the year. Synth-pop, new-new-wave, call it what you want: this song is what modern rock radio in the first half of the 2000's has been missing, easy. 9. "Pimpin' All Over the World," Ludacris feat. Bobby Valentino. Remember earlier, when I said that I'm starting to like Ludacris more and more every time I hear him? Um, yep. Smoove punchlines, a rousing chorus that I can totally get behind, bassy "ohhh yeah"s - oh, and the outro monologue! Besides, how many guys _do_ you know can bring the travel channel to life? 8. "B.Y.O.B.," System of a Down. I'm not sure what else there really is to say about "B.Y.O.B." - but, oh man, this is one of the angriest, looniest, and grooviest singles in years, usually all at once. The speed-metal verses, the freak-funk chorus, and the best nonsense syllable lyric of the year in "la la-la la la la la la-la la/ ooh-ooh!"; it's already been documented how much I've loved System's Mezmerize/Hypnotize project, but let it be said that this is their single to end all singles. Rage Against the Machine meets punk rock meets Stevie Wonder meets "Apocalypse Now" meets comic-book villains. 7. "Lose Control," Missy Elliott feat. Ciara and Fat Man Scoop. Like the Foo Fighters, Missy has a niche. She, year in, year out, can always be counted on for the weirdest - and most inexplicably groovy - rap singles of the year. Even without Timbo in tow this time, she proves that she can deliver: "Lose Control" is her nuttiest, grooviest single to date; I don't know who Fat Man Scoop is (Biz Markie in disguise, maybe?), or what the hell is going on in the background, but oh man, I love it. 6. "We Belong Together," Mariah Carey. Mariah's kind of like R. Kelly to me: I tried to ignore her when she went nuts and started releasing a string of poor-ass singles. Except where R. Kelly came back with the looniest pop music experiment of the year, Mariah came back with a ballad; a simple, effective one. Like Alicia Keys's "If I Ain't Got You," this relatively simple, heartbreaking ballad takes the "Future Standard of the Year" award for 2005; it's all about that last chorus, where Mariah pushes her multi-octave range to its limits. Oh, Mariah. I missed you while you sucked, I really did. 5. "Gold Digger," Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx. The characters in this short, one-act scene are ANDREW, a young music fan, KARA, his adolescent and pop-savvy sister, and DAD, a 44 year old preacher raised on classic rock radio and gospel records. This conversation actually occurred. ANDREW. "Hey, dad." DAD. "Hey, bud! (back to humming) Duh duh duh money... when i'm in need..." ANDREW. "Watcha doin'?" DAD. "Oh, just washing some dishes. I'm gonna head over to the church, later - think you can help me set up the risers? The choir's supposed to sing tomorrow." (Enter KARA.) KARA. "Hey dad!" DAD. "Hey, sweetie! How was school?" (resumes humming) KARA. "Good. I'm gonna meet Kristy at Friendly's tonight for Danielle's birthday - DAD! WHAT ARE YOU SINGING??" DAD. "Oh, just that song that's on the radio. You know the one. I'm not sayin' she's a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke, broke!" KARA. "DAD! NEVER SING THAT AGAIN! DID YOU ACTUALLY MEMORIZE THE WORDS?" DAD. "Well, you know, it's a catchy song. You pick it up after a while. She got lipo witcha money--" ANDREW. "Awesome!" KARA. "OH MY GOSH. Don't teach Mom that song, please! She's gonna sing it for all my friends!" ANDREW. "Oooh! Teach her!" DAD. "Eighteen years, eighteen years, and then it turned eighteen, and she told him it wasn't his!" KARA. "Are you DANCING? STOP THAT!" MOM (off-stage). "Where is everybody?" ANDREW. "In the kitchen!" DAD. "Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger--" KARA. "DAD!" MOM (off-stage, singing). "Put my thing down flip it and reverse it..." KARA. "MOOOOOOM!!!!" ANDREW. "I love my life." And scene. 4. "Wake Me Up When September Ends," Green Day. Of all the things that I love Green Day for, their bittersweet ballads are usually not among them. The uncommon artistic maturity of American Idiot yielded a bevy of hit singles, among them this evocative, thinly-veiled 9/11 song. This is the best of the bunch, easy; if only they'd get around to "Whatshername," Green Day might have a brand-new Who's Next on their hands, as far as future classic-rock radio mainstays go. 3. "Landed," Ben Folds. Say what you want about Songs For Silverman in relation to Ben's first proper solo outing, Rockin' the Suburbs; the leadoff singles show maturity in leaps and bounds. Not that maturity is always a good thing, but Ben's "Rockin' the Suburbs" was novelty nerd-pop at best (the actual album showed much more artistry, pathos, and skill); "Landed," on the other hand, finds Folds finally making total good on all of those Elton John comparisons. This is exactly the kind of "Someone Saved My Life Tonight"/"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"/"Tiny Dancer" instant classic that makes a career. It's a shame, then, that "Landed" wasn't a commercial hit at all, and Folds remains represented almost wholly in the popular lexicon by "Brick" and "Rockin' the Suburbs"; at least all of us Folds fans have the luxury of knowing that we're listening to classic rock before it becomes classic. 2. "Hope There's Someone," Antony and the Johnsons. If there was a real problem with Antony and the Johnsons's beautiful I Am A Bird Now, it's this: it hits its stride far too early. "Hope There's Someone" is the lead-off track, and it becomes immediately apparent that writing Antony off as baroque cabaret-pop is way too misleading and opaque of a description. Antony's lilting, plaintive voice coupled with his simplistic piano is a truly effective combination: fear of death, fear of loneliness, everything hits in those first lines. This might be the most beautiful, saddest thing I've ever heard. 1. "Feel Good Inc.," Gorillaz. So "Hope There's Someone" is easily the better song - devastating, heartfelt, emotionally affecting, all that - but I can't leave it at that. This year saw one of the music biz's weirdest collectives - the Gorillaz project, which I'm not even gonna try to explain - come with what's easily the single of the year. As paranoid as it is groovy and utterly looney-tunes, Gorillaz, who I'd thought were gonna peak with "Clint Eastwood," have inexplicably hit back at the haters with this. Acoustic guitars, melancholy verses, deranged ramblings from De La Soul, a cartoon villain's madcap laughter. All this, and you can dance to it. Sick of it? You might be, but I can't get enough. And who says pop music's getting worse? ** Andrew's Top 20 Albums of 2005!

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