So you want useful Spanish catchphrases.


Dec 24, 2005


The Bottom Line ...go visit Spain, I guess?

I know, I know...who really needs another so-called "useful" guide of things to say when in Spain? "Where is the bathroom?" "You are very attractive, my hotel is located at ____." Come on, people! No one ever uses crap like that!

So for your pleasure, I bring you useful (really useful, I mean, not pseudo-useful like that other stuff) Spanish catchphrases. Courtesy of my dictionary and a lot of spare time.

Creo tu eres en liga con el carnicero.

I believe you are in league with the butcher. (Thank you, Holly Golightly, for that most useful of all catchphrases.)

Requiero una chirivia por mi almuerzo.

I require a parsnip for my lunch.

Q: ¿Donde esta el derecho-mano guanto de mi tia?

Where is the right-hand glove of my aunt? (or, my aunt's right-hand glove)

A: El guanto es en tu asno, tu bandido monstruoso. Conozco tu identidad verdadero, Juan Loco! (Juanita Loca)

The glove is in your a*s, you monstrous villain. I know your true identity, Crazy John! (Crazy Small Female John)

Yo tengo una problemo grande con ardillas en mi patio trasero, sobre todo mi guarida secreto de experimentos mal.

I have a big problem with squirrels in my backyard, especially my secret lair of evil experiments.

(Note: It would be wise not to say that one in front of the policia.)

Perdon, sen(~)or, pero donde es la prostituta mejor en este ciudad?

Pardon, sir, but where is the best prostitute in this city?

¿¿¿QUE???

I AM THE FATHER OF THIS CHILD???

Maggie Gyllenhaal es una actriz buena, pero opino ella no es caliente. Espera...no soy una lesbiana! AY CARAMBA!

Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good actress, but I think she is not hot. Wait...I am not a lesbian! ALAS GOLLY! (yes that is literally what ay caramba means...too bad Americans don't say Alas Golly, it would be a better country if we did)

Si, sen(~)or, yo verdaderamente soy diez y ocho. (ojos inquieto) ¿Por que? ...tu eres cuarenta y nueve? Miro...

Yes, sir, I really am 18. (shifty eyes) Why? ...you are 49? I see...

And there you go! That's all you ever need to survive in Spain. Now pack up and go for a little travel, you crazy kids!

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