So you want useful Spanish catchphrases.

Dec 24, 2005

The Bottom Line ...go visit Spain, I guess?

I know, I know...who really needs another so-called "useful" guide of things to say when in Spain? "Where is the bathroom?" "You are very attractive, my hotel is located at ____." Come on, people! No one ever uses crap like that!

So for your pleasure, I bring you useful (really useful, I mean, not pseudo-useful like that other stuff) Spanish catchphrases. Courtesy of my dictionary and a lot of spare time.

Creo tu eres en liga con el carnicero.

I believe you are in league with the butcher. (Thank you, Holly Golightly, for that most useful of all catchphrases.)

Requiero una chirivia por mi almuerzo.

I require a parsnip for my lunch.

Q: ¿Donde esta el derecho-mano guanto de mi tia?

Where is the right-hand glove of my aunt? (or, my aunt's right-hand glove)

A: El guanto es en tu asno, tu bandido monstruoso. Conozco tu identidad verdadero, Juan Loco! (Juanita Loca)

The glove is in your a*s, you monstrous villain. I know your true identity, Crazy John! (Crazy Small Female John)

Yo tengo una problemo grande con ardillas en mi patio trasero, sobre todo mi guarida secreto de experimentos mal.

I have a big problem with squirrels in my backyard, especially my secret lair of evil experiments.

(Note: It would be wise not to say that one in front of the policia.)

Perdon, sen(~)or, pero donde es la prostituta mejor en este ciudad?

Pardon, sir, but where is the best prostitute in this city?



Maggie Gyllenhaal es una actriz buena, pero opino ella no es caliente. soy una lesbiana! AY CARAMBA!

Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good actress, but I think she is not hot. Wait...I am not a lesbian! ALAS GOLLY! (yes that is literally what ay caramba means...too bad Americans don't say Alas Golly, it would be a better country if we did)

Si, sen(~)or, yo verdaderamente soy diez y ocho. (ojos inquieto) ¿Por que? ...tu eres cuarenta y nueve? Miro...

Yes, sir, I really am 18. (shifty eyes) Why? are 49? I see...

And there you go! That's all you ever need to survive in Spain. Now pack up and go for a little travel, you crazy kids!

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