The Review Your Ex-Lovers (or Present Ones) Write-Off
Jan 24 '06 (Updated Oct 14 '06)
The Bottom Line Have you ever seen a write-off with such effrontery?
Mankind perpetually trudges through the viscous search for love. Many fail. Some succeed. We've all had memorable relationships and escapades, excursions and affectations. We've experienced harlots, cadgers, sycophants, royals, tatterdemalions...
Now is your chance to review them.
That's right. You read it. Review your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, ex-husband/wife, even your present one. How serious is this? Not very. But you can make it so. Angry about a previous relationship? Now's your chance to vent. Don't want others to make the same mistakes? Here you could change lives. Find yourself an efficacious entertainer who could have hordes of fun writing about this (like myself)? Take a shot.
I'll personally do a series covering every single ex-girlfriend (and my current paramour), and yes, I will inform the ones who haven't placed a restraining order on me (that was a joke, I swear).
Grading scale? The only requirement is that you place a "number out of five stars" rating somewhere. Insofar as the criteria, that's all up to you. For example, you could do:
(out of ten)
Humor: 8
Intelligence: 7
Novelty: 4
Direction: 6
Skills in Bed: 2
Total: 27/50
Or, if you're more succinct, utilize the Intellectual Whores Rating System (1):
For Women:
Money/Power: 34/50
Attraction: 19/40
Things Women Say They Care About But Don't: 4/10
For Men:
Looks: 51/60
Estimated Chance She'll Put Out Quickly: 29/30
Other: 3/10
Note: the IWRS is almost always true
Or, more suitably, do your own thang. You don't need a scale. Or perhaps you do. Have fun. Be satirical if you want. Feel free to use pseudonyms. Write an essay castigating this write-off if you wish.
So, let me re-cap the requirements:
1. It must be a real former/present paramour (actually, twist this if you want... if you dated Medusa, I can't disprove it)
2. There must be a rating out of 5 stars
3. You must post it in the Romance Non-Fiction Section
You can write as many as you want.
Either email me or post your response in the comment section. Be expecting at least ten from me (likely double that).
-Tom Speaker, eponymous eternal universal muse
1. http://intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
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Epinions.com ID:
updateghost
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: Tom Speaker
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow...
Reviews written: 905
Trusted by: 122 members
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