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Re: My Sympathy... (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Tom!
I am just now reading your kind words, almost a month after you wrote them. Thanks so much for your thoughts. It is a nasty disease. All four of our parents have had some form of it, and Mom is the last one left. Bless her little heart!
Missing you,
Deb~
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Jan 26 '07
1:19 pm PST
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My Sympathy... (Reply to this comment)
by tombarnes
I hope you are well and that your situation has improved. My mother's last husband had Alzheimer's disease and it was an ugly beast to deal with. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I wish you the best for the New Year. As always, Tom Barnes
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Dec 30 '06
8:44 pm PST
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Re: I just saw your review. (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Oh Poor You!
I certainly know about that 'Upset Feeling." I just spent 4 hours with my mother, who is now living with my sister and help. I left totally drained. The poor thing cried for 4 hours straight. Maybe you might think about visiting your mother at a different time of day, when she might be calmer. If you ever feel like venting, feel free to send me an e-mail.
Hang in there!
Deborah~
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Sep 17 '06
3:44 pm PDT
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I just saw your review. (Reply to this comment)
by northeastgal
I have similar problems with my mom. She has medication, but doesn't take it. But I didn't know about the sunset thing. I usually leave the nursing home after dinnertime and she is almost always agitated for no reason and I leave very upset.
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Sep 16 '06
9:14 pm PDT
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Re: Your Mom (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
I am so sorry that I am just now responding to your very kind comment! Only today did I see it. And may you be blessed for all of the good work you do in the world of nursing!
Mom is a bit calmer now, but no longer knows who I am. She still seems very comfortable with me, however.
Thank you so much for the encouraging words!
My best,
Deborah~
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Sep 05 '06
10:59 am PDT
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Your Mom (Reply to this comment)
by polarbecca
I'm an RN in an intensive care unit and I speak from experience when I say I can somewhat understand what you go through everyday. You are a very strong woman and I applaud you for bringing your mother home. It is a very hard thing to see a loved one suffer from Dementia or Alzheimer’s and I pray that you never have to suffer from it yourself! God Bless you and the caregiver you have for your mom. I have been to several wonderful treatment centers for those suffering from Alzheimer’s/Dementia and I have also seen the products of some terrible ones. What a difficult decision to bring your mom home, but obviously a good one. For those suffering it is probably very terrifying for them, and their family every day. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
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Aug 13 '06
4:18 am PDT
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Re: Re: Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by PattyTherre
Oh I am sure I will be as nasty as my Dad was (He passed away June 20 quite out of the blue).
I already warned my kids to put up with me and just nod and smile when I start ranting. Actually, they do that now...
I hope things are going better for you now that time has passed.
Patty
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Aug 08 '06
6:24 pm PDT
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Re: My Mom (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
And you have earned yours as well! Thanks so much for reading this little tale of mine. At least my mother remains sweet, when she isn't crying or screaming! God, don't let this be us someday.
Appreciate your comment,
Deborah~
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Aug 01 '06
12:51 pm PDT
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My Mom (Reply to this comment)
by susiewho
is paralyzed right side due to stroke 18 yrs ago diabetic, aphasic (minimal speech-i.e."Get lost G-D fool"). I have good help a Whoopie Goldberg type -24/7 - I consider myself lucky. Mom just had a 2nd heart attack and is out of hospital-you DEFINATELY are earning your angel wings
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Jul 31 '06
1:42 pm PDT
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Re: Hi Kiddo (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Kristy~ I have been going thru so much that I forgot about you and your mom. Thank God, she is not screaming! i don't have little ones to care for, like you do. if you ever want to talk, just e-mail me.
Thanks for being so thoughtful,
Deb~
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Jul 29 '06
9:05 pm PDT
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Hi Kiddo (Reply to this comment)
by 2buzy
we are going through the same thing -- month 7 now and honestly I am not sure how much more strength I have left! With the kids and her and no caretaker it is hard but I was rear ended and in pain all the time so now it is beyond hard!
My mom does not cry and scream a lot so I am greatfull for that -- she does however ask a million questions and get upset when she hears the answers. She is just a shell of who she was and that is just so sad.
My heart goes out to you as nobody can imagine what it is like until they have lived it.
Kristy
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Jul 29 '06
6:43 pm PDT
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Re: Thoughts and Prayers (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Oh, pooks! Thanks so much. Now you know why I have been such an Epinions dead beat.
As always, Deb~
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Jul 29 '06
3:48 pm PDT
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Thoughts and Prayers (Reply to this comment)
by ms_pookie
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
(HUGS)
Pooks
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Jul 29 '06
10:25 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Deborah (Reply to this comment)
by theresaro
Thanks for your thoughts. I know everything will work out. I feel your magic hitting me already.
Teri :)
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Jul 26 '06
10:43 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Deborah (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Sweet Terri!
I wish I had the magic words for you. I will keep you and your Grandma in my thoughts and heart, and hope that you both are better soon. Thank you so much for even peeking in on me, let alone taking the time to comment.
Always,
Deb~
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Jul 26 '06
6:20 am PDT
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Re: Re: Deborah (Reply to this comment)
by theresaro
Hi Deborah,
No my life is a bit overwelming right now even more so then before. This is why I haven't wrote anything because I am struggling with my depression, My grandmother being ill, among faily issues that just completely have mae me sick.
I am trying very hard to get back up.
Teri
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Jul 25 '06
6:56 am PDT
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Re: Deborah (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Teri!
How very nice to hear from you! I hope that your life has settled down a bit by now. I am going to check in on you today.
Deb~
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Jul 22 '06
7:15 am PDT
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Deborah (Reply to this comment)
by theresaro
This is an awful diease and you are right it affects everyone involed. My prayers are with you and your family.
Teri
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Jul 22 '06
6:24 am PDT
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Re: Absolutely agree with what you said about nursing homes... (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
I am so sorry that it has taken me 6 days to respond to your thoughtful comment. Thank you for taking the time to read and write. How wonderful of you to be living with your grandparents.
You will be rewarded someday. Unfortunately, my mother's issues continue, but my life is a bit easier, without the sweet woman in my home. I hope that your grandparents are aging a bit more gracefully.
With appreciation,
Deborah~
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Jul 21 '06
9:08 pm PDT
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Absolutely agree with what you said about nursing homes... (Reply to this comment)
by aeoluscmc
I watched one of my good friends and former teachers live through a nursing home experience that changed her from an almost independent woman with friends and interests to a much more defeated, lonely person -- I only wish that her children had rescued her as you rescued your mother. As for me, I've vowed that no parent or grandparent of mine will ever live in one. I currently live with my grandparents (not exactly ideal, but trying to help out) and definitely feel what you're going through. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your experiences.
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Jul 15 '06
2:43 pm PDT
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Re: Wow (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Shantel!
How very nice of you to take the time to comment. My mother is easy to love, as she is so sweet natured. Now that she has moved to my sister's home, life is slowly getting back to normal.
Thanks much,
Deborah~
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Apr 12 '06
6:23 am PDT
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Re: I'm sorry I missed this (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
No worries, Peggy, but it is so very nice to hear from you. Mom is at my sister's now and still screaming! he poor thing. My mother looks terrific....much better than she is. I will catch up with you soon.
Deb~
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Apr 12 '06
6:21 am PDT
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I'm sorry I missed this (Reply to this comment)
by pilarzmom
My late mom suffered from dimentia. It didn't get real bad til her final year when she was in the nursing home. In fact, when she was at home she was still pretty sharp. She only messed up on names (called my Nicholas by Matthew, which is one of her grand-nephews).
I'm so sorry to hear of all your struggles. I have been there and understand.
Take care,
Peggy
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Apr 11 '06
12:36 pm PDT
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Wow (Reply to this comment)
by shantel575
the love you have for your mother sure comes across in this piece. I can't imagine what it's like to deal with this, but I applaud you for how you've handled it. Thanks for sharing with us.
Shantel :)
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Apr 11 '06
8:19 am PDT
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Re: Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Oh Patti!
I do feel for you! My mother had Haladol in the hospital, and it nearly sent her into cardiac arrest. There is a newish drug out called Mamatene. It isn't for agitation, but it is beneficial for dementia. We have used it daily for a month now, with no ill affects, and maybe just a touch of help. Many doctors don't know about it.
I have to admit that I did lose it a few times with my mom, so no badges for me. 3 months of no sleep and added stress, or terror as you said, can do that to you.
Let's pray that you and I don't cause our families the same feelings, as we age.
Thanks so much for your wonderful note. I will catch up with you soon.
My best,
Deb~
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Apr 11 '06
5:41 am PDT
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Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by PattyTherre
I felt like I was reading my father's story except we can't afford to bring him home. He is in a nursing home at age 80 and is deaf. He has dementia and it takes the form of aggression. He will swear and throw things around and throw people out his room.
The crazy thing is that the people there try to reason with him. He doesn't know what he is doing yet they tell him to keep his voice down and, if he swears any more, they will shut his door.
They call asking me to come there to settle him down a lot and I do. He seems like the old Dad sometimes. But lately, more and more like someone I don't know (though he knows me and never forgets who I am).
Now they want to drug him even more with a shot every month of Haldol to keep him "quiet". We said no. I agree, if he is agitated, he needs something but not all the time.
It's horrible. You are a wonderful daughter and much more patient than I. I find myself getting mad at my father's behavior even though I am fully aware that he doesn't even have control of it.
It just hit so FAST it seems.
I see your mom moved out now. I hope life is more settled for you - and her.
I sure wish there was an answer because everyday I feel a terror I can't explain thinking of my father in that place, deaf, mixed up, and with people who don't have a clue how to handle him.
That was really a wonderful story. It shows such love for your mother.
Patty
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Apr 11 '06
3:50 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: I'm so sorry I didn't see this until now... (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
That's Okay, Barbara! I am coming back slowly. My mother has moved 10 days ago to my sister's new home. My husband and I are still recovering from over 3 months of no sleep. I am sorry, too, that you have had your own ordeal. I have missed you and your wonderful reviews!
As always and with thanks,
Deb
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Apr 10 '06
8:18 am PDT
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Re: Re: I'm so sorry I didn't see this until now... (Reply to this comment)
by ifif1938
Oh Deb. I had no idea you were going through all this with your mother... 6 years ago my mother became very ill and my sister and I had to figure out what to do and how...Our funds were a bit limited but we managed somehow...Thankfully her illness wasn't dementia but her illness did require a caregiver besides us..It was heart wrenching to see a vital woman like she was deteriorate as whe did so quickly..It's hard even to this day to even think about what it was like
My heart goes out to you and I can feel your sadness and compassion in your words..
Please know that I will be thinking of you and again, I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to read about what you, your mother and your family have been going through..
Many hugs
Barbara
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Apr 10 '06
7:04 am PDT
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(((hugs))) (Reply to this comment)
by kelly60
My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your mother. I know it is hard to find the time, but please keep us updated when you can.
Kelly
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Mar 30 '06
10:05 am PST
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Re: I'm so sorry I didn't see this until now... (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Regina!
No apologies needed. Mom's dementia has progresed following her hospital stay on February 9th. She is now yelling and screaming most of the day and night. She appears to fight thru all of the medicine. It is so sad. This woman was always so soft spoken. It is a heart breaking condition. I appreciate your kind words.
My best,
Deborah~
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Mar 06 '06
2:42 am PST
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