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Crystal (Review Your Ex-Lovers W/O)Feb 15 '06 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line would've rather had Shawnee.
The Crystal Story exhibits T. Speaker at his zenith of pimpness. I can hardly judge Crystal's quality as a girlfriend, but this story cannot be eschewed. One day in 7th grade, Crystal was with her friend Emily. Crystal saw me. She said "Emily, who is that?" Emily answered, "Why, it's Tom Speaker." Crystal rejoined, "Ooh, I like him. He's hot." Sha-bam! Next thing I know, every person in the school is telling me dood-tom-crystal-likes-you-you-gotta-date-her-man-don't-keep-dating-Ashley-she's -a-bitch). I was originally obstinate. Ashley expressed her worries, and even though I assured her of my faith, she still expressed her worries. Eventually I said "Aight, I'm tired, of this shit," and dumped Ashley for Crystal, whom I'd never even talked to. Everyone tells Crystal. They come to me and ask, "Tom, will you go out with Crystal?" I answer, "Shore," and within one minute, Crystal is setting next to me, and we are holding hands. We'd never even talked. Yes, I am a pimp. My friend also regaled me with a story from his science class. Our teacher and handed out popsicles (you know, the phallic ones). Crystal was slobbering all over it, saying, "This is Tom." Angela (Ashley's best friend at the time) said, "Oh gross! You wouldn't do that." Crystal stares her down. "Oh yes, I would." Seventh grade, people. You can imagine the smile on my face after I heard about it. Unfortunately, our relationship started two days before summer vacation began. Lacking transportation, we didn't get to see each other, and after two phone conversations, Ashley (who was friends with Crystal, oddly enough) called me to tell me that Crystal had dumped me. Unsure, I asked around, and it was confirmed. I didn't really care. After the insanity which was the summer of 2000, I decided that I liked Crystal again, without even seeing her. Emily confirmed that yes, without even seeing me, Crystal liked me again too. Eighth grade began. Awkwardness. Then I met Shawnee (who I never ended up dating). Shawnee and I liked each other, but because of Crystal (and Shawnee's 19-year-old boyfriend, who called me up, threatening to have the entire city of Beavercreek kick my ass, even saying my school principal would become involved, since he was "tight" with her), Shawnee and I never got to date. Tenacious bitch. Because of Crystal's salacious tendencies (which were never realized) and an irresistibly hot face, I'll recommend her. Rating: 3.5/5 Stars Other Rating: B- Recommended: Yes Post-script: Crystal and I did become friends my freshman year. After that, she dropped out and disappeared. Review Your Ex-Lovers W/O  |
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