I have dealt with rejection my entire life. In every facet of my life at one time or another rejection has reared it's ugly face and stared me down until the only response left for me was to retreat. I retreated into myself, deep into the recesses of my psyche and I stayed there for years. Rejection has left scars that are deep, they linger and they will never go away, but I say that those scars and the reality of rejection will never hold me back again.

I have suffered from rejection and I have the emotional scars to prove that, but now I have strategies and I deal with rejection. I don't suffer the way I used to when I was younger, I may not always be successful, but I acknowledge that rejection will win some battles, but in my personal battles against the effects of rejection, rejection will never win the war.

I tear up a little when I think of what could have been and all I've had to offer those times I've been rejected. I can't turn back the hands of time; I can only go forward with another lesson learned that will help me fight the terrorist that is rejection. The pain from rejection runs deep and is strong, it is a force that can change the flow of a life and send it into a tailspin at anytime, anywhere. As damaging as alcohol or a drug addiction you can never be cured, you can only be in recovery and protect yourself and try not to let the fear of rejection control your actions.

When I walk into a room filled with many strangers and many opportunities for rejection, I know that everything I am or that I have been walks into that room with me. 40 years of life experience and expertise in many disciplines walks with me and is always at my disposal, but that's not what is on display. This visage I've had my entire life is what is on display, it is all I have, I will never consider plastic surgery or changes, what I have could be worst. My appearance has changed a little, I have gray hair, the bones creak a little, but my mind is still sharp and my intelligence is my main weapon again rejection, but even intelligence cannot take away the pain and the sadness that are a part of rejection. Emotions and Intelligence are always at odds in the war against rejection, but when a little Self-Control is thrown into the mix, you have made the first major step in developing the self-defense tools you will need to defend yourself against the effects of rejection.

My Personal Strategies

Confidence, it the first and most powerful weapon I have in the fight against rejection. We do not all have confidence, but I like to use the principles of the great philosopher NIKE, "Just Do It". Even if you don't have confidence, fake it, the more you fake it the stronger your confidence will become and then guess what, You're not faking anymore, you have it.

Respect, I respect the power that rejection has and with that healthy respect I never underestimate it. You have to respect an enemy to defeat it, I respect rejection and each and every time I am rejected I marvel that my old nemesis can still get the upper hand sometimes.

Opportunity, I use every opportunity to face situations where rejection is a possibility. Audition for a play. Sing a song on Karaoke night. Ask a stranger that you are attracted to for a date. Go on a job interview just for a job you would love to have; when nothing is on the line rejection has less power. I'm sure in your own life you can come up with some strategies.

Escape, Sometimes you have to have an escape route until you are powerful enough to weather the storms of rejection that are a part of life. Rejection is a possibility in everything that you do and how you react to rejection will dictate how you are perceived by others, but more importantly, how you see yourself, which in the end is more important. It is acceptable to escape today to fight and win tomorrow.

Memory, I remember and evaluate situations where I've had to endure rejection and I try to learn from every instance. That may not always be possible, but hey I'm an old man, sometimes and you can't always teach an old dog new tricks.

People are the tools of rejection and they are well aware of it and they have their own reasons for ignoring what they are doing to you. They have dealt with rejection, they know the pain, but isn't it unfortunate that we choose to share the wrong things sometimes. You cannot control that and the things you cannot control can only have power over you if you allow them to. You will never have control over what another person will do to you, for you or sometimes about you. All you can do is be aware of who you are and what your goals are, keep you eyes on that goal and never stray from it and you will have another weapon against rejection.

In Closing

My final words, on this topic. I make no guarantees and I cannot tell you what will work for you, I don't know your situation, but I do know the enemy and the enemy is always lurking waiting to pounce. A little knowledge can go a long way, so I am equipping you with knowledge based on my own life experience in the hopes that it can be helpful. Life is a contact sport, so be ready with the right gear, intelligence, confidence, self control and respect are all a good start, I'm sure you can think of a few others.


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