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Raising Great Kids to be Confident Adults: The Advice w/oApr 02 '06 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Lots of this advice is common sense, but when it comes to your children, you must take the time to listen to them and talk to them.
So, Gael, what pearls of wisdom can you share? I am by no means an expert, but I did have some "luck" or maybe it was just common sense when it came to raising my two sons. A little background information: my ex-husband did not work regularly and it was a real struggle to stay afloat financially. I had two little sons, just 18 months apart in age who relied on their parents for security and stability. Making the decision to divorce the father of my children was very difficult, but ultimately I do feel that my sons have had a better childhood and more stable upbringing. Give your children you FULL attention as much as possible. I know that we live in a busy world and lots of times you are multi-tasking. It is important to take the time out to "smell the roses" so to speak. Your children will grow up fast, and in the blink of an eye they'll be grown and you'll wonder where the time went. This is what happened to me. As all children are, my sons were cute little boys and played well together. They've always been buddies and fighting was rare. I would try to write down cute things they would say and keep a little memory book of things they did and said. I also made a photo album for each other them, with pictures as they grew. (I think their future wives and children will like to have it someday.) After my second marriage, we were a "blended family" and have been for many years now. We are a multi-cultural family as well. My sons do have a good relationship with their real father (who still has not found a job, by the way, but that's another story). Having Fun Together We were busy and I always worked full time. I wish I could have stayed home with them more, but I made the best use of my time with them. During the summer, we would have what we called a "Special Day". This was one or two days out of the summer that I would take one son at a time to a place of their choice: they could pick anything (within reason and budget that was fun to do) without the other along. We would go to movies, bowling, out for lunch, the zoo, whatever they wanted to do. Sometimes they could be competitive being so close in age, and so in this way, they could have my full and undivided attention. It was fun and I know they have good memories of those days. Of course, we did lots of other fun things all together, sometimes the three of us and other times with friends along too. We threw the around football a lot (and I throw like a girl!) and the frisbee, went to parks and playgrounds on a regular basis and just had fun. We laughed a lot. I also read to them as much as possible since they were babies, and especially before bedtime. Your Most Important Job Raising your children is your most important job. Praise your children as much as possible too to help build their self-esteem. Set rules and boundaries for them and have consequences if they break the rules you set. When I was frustrated in my failing marriage, I did occasionally see myself becoming angry with my sons when they didn't deserve it. I recognized this and stopped. Yelling does no good at all. Learning and Responsibility As they grew, we had fun and learned from each other all the time. When we would drive to Grandma and Grandpa's for example, we would play games in the car. We would play simple math games or spelling games. Give your children chores and make them feel needed. You need help with keeping the house clean and your children can help with easy chores even from a young age. Give them more responsibility as they get older. A pet is a wonderful addition to any family, but is also a lot of work. Let your children help feed or walk your pet. Education: This is something that no one can ever take away and is fundamentally important. Help your children with their homework if they are having difficulty. If you don't know what's going on, it doesn't hurt to talk to their teacher either. (I called my son's teacher several times when he was in 4th grade.) Encourage your children to stay in school too. I am happy to say that both of my sons are currently in college. My sons both joined a variety of groups when they were growing up including everything from guitar lessons, tai kwon do, cub scouts and church groups. I had them stay in each group for a year to see if they liked it. If not, they could discontinue. That way, they tried lots of different things, but it never become so much that it interfered with school and homework. Letting Go As your children get older, think back to how you felt at their age. A little understanding can go a long way. When you're a teen, you want to be independent, but in some ways still need your parents for guidance (even though you don't necessarily think so). (Driving lessons and permits is a particularly tough time for parents!) Giving your child more freedom to show you trust them can be hard. It is hard to let go, but you need to trust their judgment if you have taught them well. I think teaching by example is better than almost anything you can say. I always disagreed with that saying about "Quality versus Quantity" with your children. I believe they need "Quantity AND Quality", as much as possible. And -- don't forget those hugs and kisses! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Below are some old reviews I wrote about children. Although the reviews are short, I hope they still offer some helpful advice on raising children. San Francisco Exploratorium: Where Learning is Fun! Being Organized is the Key for Working Moms Mom, Can We Have a Special Day? Family Vacations + American History that Your Kids Will Love Step-Families: Keeping the Peace ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is my submission into mmcphee's write-off Thanks! ~thanks for reading~ ©gkm. .  |
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