The Princess and the Stink (A Modern Fairy Tale?!)Apr 04 '06 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Oh Epinions, how I miss thee! No internet access at home (sniff) so I have to log on at work. Shh, don't tell anyone. There is a reason I don’t like making New Year’s Resolutions anymore, and that reason is: because I don’t keep them. I resolved to write at least one Epinion a month in 2006, to get back in the swing of things, and it’s now April, and I’ve written jack squat. I have a couple of online reviews and a restaurant review bouncing around in my head, but nothing on paper (screen?!) yet…so I decided to post a review that I actually wrote last year, seeing as the last product review I wrote was in May 05. Wow. (This is one of those “the product’s not in the database, so it’s getting posted in the WC” kinda reviews). ************************ A long time ago in a land far, far away (well okay, it was a few months ago in Texas), a Princess was reading some reviews on Burts Bees products written by the fair maiden jdhauer. The Princess realized that she and jdhauer felt the same way about these products (that is, that they sucketh). The Princess noticed that while jdhauer did not like the Burts Bees products, there was another company by the name of Alba Botanica that apparently had quite a few products that she was fond of. The Princess thought that it sounded like jdhauer had good taste in beauty products, so she sat down at her computer and proceeded to order a trial kit of Alba Botanica products from drugstore.com. The Princess was excited when the delightfully simple cardboard box housing her new goodies to try arrived at her door the next week. She noticed that one of the samples was a .5oz Alba Clear Enzyme Deodorant Stick in the Lavender scent. The label stated that this deodorant had baking soda and alpine lichen (whatever alpine lichen is, she thought), was hypoallergenic, and preservative (paraben), and Propylene Glycol free. Even though the Princess felt her current deodorant was working fine, she may as well try the sample as long as she had it. The next morning after her shower, the Princess decided to give this deodorant a try. The first thing the Princess noticed after removing the deodorant cap was the scent; a very strong lavender scent indeed! She was somewhat relieved to see that the deodorant is clear – there’s nothing more horrifying to a princess than seeing deodorant stains on her Old Navy t-shirts…er, royal ball gowns. Yeah. She swiped the deodorant under her arm a few times. “Hmm”, she thought, “It’s a little hard to apply…kind of sticky.” Seeing as she didn’t want one underarm to smell like lavender and the other one to smell “shower fresh”, she applied the deodorant under the other arm as well. After putting on her t-shirt, the Princess noticed that her armpits felt kind of...tacky. “Well, maybe the deodorant just needs a few minutes to dry.” she thought. She finished getting dressed and went about her day. Several hours later, as the Princess was getting into her car after running some errands, she realized that her underarms still felt somewhat tacky. Cranking up the car’s AC, she realized that not only was she hot, her armpits felt a little wet. “Not possible”, she said, “Princesses ‘glow’, they don’t sweat!” Feverishly trying to cool herself down by fanning her shirt, a few minutes later the princess had to admit, that horror of all horrors, she was sweating! “Oh, this is SO not what I expected!” *gasp* “What if I…” *sniffle* “what if I….stink?!!” The Princess tentatively lifted an arm and got a little whiff of….nothing! No BO, not even a hint of lavender (which was good, seeing as she doesn’t like lavender all that much). “Well that’s a relief. I may be sweaty, but at least I won’t kill everything in a 5-mile radius if I lift an arm.” she said. After getting home and checking the deodorant label, the Princess realized that it IS a deodorant only, not an anti-perspirant (which is what keeps you from sweating). Later that night the Princess was getting ready for her bath. She took her shirt off and out of the corner of her eye, caught a glimpse of something that appeared to be stuck on her armpit. It was little black fuzzy balls. “Little black fuzzy balls!” she cried, “How did those get there? Well, it’s a good thing I’m already married, because what Prince Charming would want a Princess with little black fuzzy balls on her pits?” On closer examination, she realized that said fuzzy balls were from her t-shirt. Apparently since that deodorant was so tacky, it caused some fuzz balls from her shirt to stick to her underarms. The Princess was surprised, because this had never happened with her other deodorants before. Fortunately, the little black fuzzy balls (and the deodorant) easily washed off during her bath. Hoping that maybe this first use was just a fluke, the Princess has used the deodorant several more times. Each time, she has the same results: tacky-feeling underarms and sweating, but at least the fuzzy ball incident hasn’t repeated itself. She hasn’t noticed any side effects from using this. No irritation or skin sensitivity, however, she also hasn’t noticed any real benefits (such as “nourishing” your skin like some deodorants claim to do). It simply prevents you from stinking. The Princess will be living happily ever after with her regular deodorant seeing as it also prevents her from sweating! Overall: I’m hesitant to give this five stars, or even recommend it, BUT… seeing as it is just a deodorant, and deodorant is designed simply for odor control, this stuff seems to do a pretty good job at that. Based on that, I give it four stars and recommend it. If you want wetness protection also, just be aware that you’re better off getting an anti-perspirant/deodorant. Ingredients taken from packaging: Vegetable glycerin, usnea barbata (alpine lichen) and camellia sinesis (green tea) extracts, sodium stearate, steareth-100, sodium bicarbonate, certified organic aloe barbadensis juice, glyceryl stearate, oleic acid, sodium chloride, ethylhexylglycerin, bisabolol (chamomile), stearyl alcohol, stearic acid, panax ginseng (ginseng) extract, and lavandula angustifolia (lavender) essential oil. Miscellaneous : Per the website, Alba Botanica’s Clear Enzyme Deodorant Stick is 100% vegetarian ingredients, and no animal testing. The full-size deodorant is 2.0 oz, and comes in the Lavender scent, as well as Tea Tree and Aloe Unscented. More info available on the website albabotanica.com. Should any princesses out there want to buy the Alba Clear Enzyme Deodorant Stick, it can be found at shop.avalonnaturalproducts.com or drugstore.com and probably any health food store. The price seems to be about $5-6. Thanks for reading!  |
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