A salute to swearing Apr 05 '06 (Updated Jan 13 '07)    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet The Bottom Line Why don't you just read the review? Oh, too lazy, eh? Well, so am I... Note: The following contains gratuitous use of language and some graphic descriptions and other stuff which may be inappropriate for younger audiences. Viewer discretion is advised or, better yet, don’t tell your parents that you were reading this! However, due to Epinions content filters, which are much stricter then those on My Space where I debuted this piece, you don't have much to worry about anyway. Just doing my part so I don't get my a*s sued (See, I told you!) Oh, and I am aware of the html coding to use to get past the content filters (I've used it myself on some occasions). However, I know people whom also rate reviews "Not Helpful" based on swearing used in the review, so I figured it best to still censor it. From Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home: Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, "double dumb-a*s on you" and so forth. Kirk: Oh, you mean the profanity? Spock: Yes. Kirk: Well that's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word. When you think of swearing, what immediately comes to one’s mind are sailors, Martin Scorcese and Quentin Tarantino movies and my college professors. However, if you think about it, you realize that everybody swears. Why? It’s natural! Swear words are not ideal for all occasions obviously, but when the proper and ideal time comes about, the use of a good ole hell or damn or even an F-bomb can add hilarity to the current event. Swearing can also be very funny when used ignorantly. I remember, for instance, when I went to Catalina with AP Biology: On the boat ride back, a group of little kids was playing the card game “bullsh*t”, having no idea whatsoever what they were saying or doing. Captain Spock from the previously mentioned Star Trek film is a perfect example as well: Throughout the movie, he tries his best to master the usage of the so-called “colorful metaphors”. My favorite example: [Spock has just done a ‘mind-melt’ on one of the whales] Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell "your" whales. Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told you that. Spock: The hell they did. Swearing, like all things, has become abused, unfortunately. Once only used to express frustration, anger, extreme approval/disapproval or even extreme joy, swearing has now also been used as a weapon. Some swear words target certain ethnicities, racial groups, religious groups or even a person’s choice of lifestyle. Now I’m not talking about a word such a lesbian, but it’s equivalent, such as dyke. These are what give swearing a bad name and is what pushes it from being perhaps annoying or rude to being hurtful, scornful and painful. Some swear words, however, do add color to one’s language and also add spice and perhaps wit- though not necessarily intelligence- to it. Let’s face it: If you were to get shot in the butt like Forrest Gump, would you just say “Dang” and walk along? No; if that was me, I’d be jumping around saying “G*ddamn that m*therf*cking hurts!” See how that incident has more intensity and emotion in it as a result of the swear words? Another thing to ponder is how so many of the “evil words” have actual meanings or applications to things in life. Some examples: Hell- A place that we don’t want to go to or it could also be an exaggeration of someplace we may already be familiar with now. Damn- It’s what beavers build, and it blocks water into areas where we want it to be. Without this, we wouldn’t be able to tame nature (Or at least redirect it). B*tch- A female dog, and most likely a slutty one. Bastard- An illegitimate person A*s- We all have one and we all use it and perhaps look at them as well. P*ss- When you gotta go, you gotta go (And sometimes when you’re angry, you gotta go as well) Sh*t- “Number two” F*ck- Fill in the blank for yourself. However, it is also known as “doggy style” in some circles (Which leads me to a funny story. When I first heard the phrase “doggy style” back in fifth grade, I thought it referred to doing things like a dog; that is, you would yell at someone like a dog or you would treat someone like a worthless dog by being cruel to them or if you killed someone, you would shoot them like a worthless dog, or “doggy style”. I remember in fifth grade we had to write these so-called “Pizza Stories”. After my first few stories came out lame, I ripped off someone in my class, whom wrote pizza stories with gangsters and such in them. I remember I read my rip-off story in class, saying that the criminals (Gangster Barney the Dinosaur and such) shot people “doggy style”. Everybody in class laughed at it, but I thought it was at the story and my supposed creativity. Only later was I told what doggy style truly meant…) One movie that makes very generous use of cursing is Pulp Fiction (According to the IMDB, there are 271 usages of the word ‘f*ck’ alone). However, Pulp Fiction’s usage of swearing adds to the atmosphere, the edge and even the humor of the movie, and it is inconceivable to have one without the other. Consider this scene, which I have taken the liberty of deleting the expletives in Nixon-esque fashion. Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a [Expletive deleted] out, and givin' a [Expletive deleted] a foot massage ain't even the same [Expletive deleted] thing. Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark. Jules: Ain't no [Expletive deleted] ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same [Expletive deleted] ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same [Expletive deleted] sport. Look, foot massages don't mean [Expletive deleted]. Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage? Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot [Expletive deleted] master. Vincent: Given a lot of 'em? Jules: [Expletive deleted] yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'. Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage? Jules: (Long pause) [Expletive deleted] you. Vincent: You give them a lot? Jules: [Expletive deleted] you. Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself. Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little [Expletive deleted] here. Just doesn’t feel the same, now does it? Now, as with any good thing, it is possible to swear too much. I am a perfect example, for my mouth is like a f*cking sewage tank, g*ddamnit! (See?) Believe it or not, though, I used to never curse: I was so conservative, in fact, that I thought SEX was a bad word! The method that resulted in each and every person on this planet being born was a bad word to me!!! My mom also once slapped me when I was 12 years old after I told my sister to shut her “damn mouth” when she was teasing me. Nowadays, though, my parents don’t really care anymore (They don’t approve of my swearing, but they don’t put a harsh penalty on me, either). I know, though, that swear words can be used way too often, and one has to consider the audience and the occasion. I wouldn’t curse in front of a group of kindergartners, but I would at a college fraternity party (Whenever I get to go to one). When used at the most appropriate of times and when the emotions are right, a swear word can add the ultimate flavor. I know I have a very foul mouth and I wish it wasn’t necessarily that way, but there are times when I just have to embrace it. As for you? Whatever you want to do is all up to. Doctors recommend, though, that swearing now and then does help to relieve stress and frustration. It’s true! I read it in that recent medical report from the…hey, look over there! (Runs in the other direction). Swearing may be an evil, but it’s a necessary one.

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