The 100 Greatest Pop Singles of the 1980s (40-21)
May 31 '06 (Updated Jun 29 '06)
The Bottom Line In which the author rains on your head like a new emotion.
Y'all can exhale now. We're back with the fourth installment of the 100 Greatest Pop Singles of the 1980s. And seriously, where are Mo Rocca and Sebastian Bach when you need 'em?
But first... if you want to re-cap:
100-81
80-61
60-41
-40-
Song: Total Eclipse of the Heart
Artist: Bonnie Tyler
Album: Faster Than The Speed of Night
Debuted July 1983
Peaked #1 (4 weeks)
We're livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks...
Who needs Meat Loaf? With this fabulous epic of romantic angst, emotional insecurity, and, for many (and maybe not that inadvertently) high gay drama, Jim Steinman proved he could be a solid hitwriter/producer for anyone with a flair for vocal theatre. Before the decade was out, he'd have landed credits on singles by Air Supply, Barry Manilow, and, oh yes, the Sisters of Mercy. Look at that hair! Look at that eyeliner! Look at those white curtains flowing like the gowns of Greek sirens in the late evening breezes! And poor Bonnie. So alone. So full of questions. So full of doubt. And her voice so grizzled like she's trying to sing after crying and shouting and screaming (and drinking and smoking) for 40 days and 40 nights straight. I love this song. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And Nicki French so wishes.
-39-
Song: Kyrie
Artist: Mr. Mister
Album: Welcome to the Real World
Debuted December 1985
Peaked #1 (2 weeks)
When I was young, I thought of growing old...
When I was young, I thought a lot about growing old, and I also spent a lot of time by myself listening to the radio and contemplating uncool stuff like what it must be like to live in Ouagadougou and, like, God and stuff. And back then, anything with a catchy anthemic melody with mysterious, vaguely religious lyrics caught my ear and held on like a zebra mussel. I knew I loved Mr. Mister before I heard them (the name, folks, the name), but "Kyrie" is everything my 12-year-old self ever wanted in a pop song. Totally catchy. Totally anthemic. With lyrics that are totally vague and religious. And yes, absolutely, some of the coolest sounding synthesizer parts. Ever.
-38-
Song: Lost in Love
Artist: Air Supply
Album: Lost in Love
Debuted February 1980
Peaked #3
I believe there's too much to believe in...
You know you love this song. Moreover, I know you know you love this song. But it's okay. Seriously, it's all good. It's a good, sweet song, with some of the most beautiful pop production you're ever likely to hear in your lifetime. It's OKAY. We're all in this together. We're not alone. We'll just take it one step at a time.
-37-
Song: Little Red Corvette
Artist: Prince
Album: 1999
Debuted February 1983
Peaked #6
And I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures of the jockeys that were there before me...
I had no idea just how dirty this song was until much, much later. And shame on me for that. I mean, even if I didn't understand all of the equine double-entendre, I should have picked up something from the seductive shifting of the synthesizers, the snakey ch-ch-ch percussion, and Prince's bulbous, engorged, throbbing - er- ad-libs at the end. It's hard to describe exactly how damned unusual this song sounded when it was new. In fact, I really hated this song when it came out just because of how weird it was. But then "Delirious" came along and showed me how wrong I was about Prince.
-36-
Song: Tug Of War
Artist: Paul McCartney
Album: Tug of War
Debuted October 1982
Peaked #53
In years to come, we may discover what the air we breathe and the life we lead are all about, but it won't be soon enough...
It's hard to say if the Eighties were cruel to Paul McCartney or if Paul McCartney - what with one song ("Spies Like Us") and another ("Ebony and Ivory") - was cruel to the Eighties. But in the midst of a long run of cornball and cheese, he released this one absolutely sublime single. It didn't do nearly as well as say, "Say Say Say", but for its four-and-a-half grand, orchestral minutes, it reminds us that Paul McCartney could really write a song. (It's the song that got Nigel Godrich to produce Sir Paul's latest album.)
-35-
Song: You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)
Artist: Dead or Alive
Album: Youthquake
Debuted June 1985
Peaked #11
And I-I-I-I got to be your friend now, baby...
Dead or Alive were thrilling to me visually, not just because Pete Burns could out-crossdress Boy George with one hand cuffed to a bedpost and the other waving a cowboy's lariat queenily overhead, but because his voice just sounded so wrong coming out of that picture. Deep, brassy, and operatic, Dead or Alive's songs - almost all cooked up to supreme infectiousness by the songwriting/production team of Stock/Aitken/Waterman - have a quality that feels unhinged and odd and spontaneous, all due to that strangely hyper-masculine voice and that glass-rattling vibrato.
-34-
Song: What Have You Done For Me Lately?
Artist: Janet Jackson
Album: Control
Debuted February 1986
Peaked #4
Your friends seem to think that you're so peachy keen, my friends say neglect is on your mind. Who's right?
Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis are spectacular at doing two things. 1: Constructing a supple, powerful groove. And 2: Giving that groove plenty of room to move. Where certainly many of their mid-80s peers were building tracks with their synthesizers and drum machines, they often sounded cheap (and sound even more so today). Jam and Lewis never - ever - sounded cheap. Other producers relied on vocal hysteria, squiggly fills or canned guitar solos. Nothing like that here. Janet sings each line with seething restraint, plucking out her consonants with emphatic cool. The beat is firm and insistent but never overstates its case. The hook is simple and indelible. The message: You better shape up. Cuz she needs a man. And man, you're a sorry excuse for one.
-33-
Song: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)
Artist: The Eurythmics
Album: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)
Debuted May 1983
Peaked #1 (1 week)
Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused...
Am I the only one who was terrified by the video for this song. Was Annie Lennox not, like, the scariest looking person ever? With her red hair, her very red lips, that executive suit and - ooph - that pointer. Nevertheless, the song always sent a tingle through me - well, until the part with Zorro-mask-wearing cattle.
-32-
Song: Owner of a Lonely Heart
Artist: Yes
Album: 90125
Debuted November 1983
Peaked #1 (2 weeks)
See yourself. You are the steps you take...
The early 80s were remarkable not just for the number of new wave, New Romantic synth-popsters hitting the airwaves, but also for the number of classic rockers from the 70s who wanted to be those new wave, New Romantic synth-popsters. With "Owner of a Lonely Heart", Yes proved to be most competent at this approach, not only landing one of the year's biggest hits in 1983, but also the prog collective's biggest pop hit ever. Our parents may always associate Yes as that group with that song about all good people, but people my age will always remember that guy with the black eye and nervous, abused look, surrounded by phantom visions of rock stars in business suits, finally throwing himself a building and turning into a bird, accompanied by Jon Anderson's relentless falsetto urgings.
-31-
Song: Don't Dream It's Over
Artist: Crowded House
Album: Crowded House
Debuted January 1987
Peaked #2
There is freedom within, there is freedom without...
One day, we will all recognize Neil Finn as one of the great singer-songwriters to emerge from the 80s. His songs have this wonderful sense of mystery, and "Don't Dream It's Over" is one that gives very little of itself away. Is it the end of relationship, or the beginning of one? Are they growing old or growing apart? When he sings about "only shadows ahead", is that a bad thing? Whatever. It's a beautiful song. It's the kind of song that I could imagine any really good singer really wanting to sing. I believe we call that kind of song a standard.
-30-
Song: Shout
Artist: Tears for Fears
Album: Songs from the Big Chair
Debuted June 1985
Peaked #1 (3 weeks)
If I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart...
There's something kind of simple and juvenile and cliche about the chorus of this song - Shout! Shout! Let it all out! - it's like a fragment of between-class junior high chatter, or an unspoken bit of adolescent rage magnified a thousand times by the monotone, repetitive delivery of it. In fact, the band's name refers back to the two lead singers' childhood primal scream therapy sessions; so it's kind of sad and pathetic (but also totally contagious) to hear these two grown men using this chant to address an adult relationship.
And then there's the monumental production of it all, moving from a single tinkling triangle, to a sickening stomach-growl bass-line, to a weird tribal-dance breakdown, to a towering inferno of sound - fiery power-chord explosions, and massive drums like big gray billows of smoke. Turn it up really loud and you might just lose yourself inside of it.
-29-
Song: Straight Up
Artist: Paula Abdul
Album: Forever Your Girl
Debuted December 1988
Peaked #1 (3 weeks)
Or. Am. I. A. Page. In. Your. His. To. Ry?
Okay, so if we can allow ourselves to forget that Paula Abdul was responsible for some of the most inconsequential music on the radio at the turn of the 90s, and that we've been watching her long, slow descent into prime-time Fruit-Loop-hood over five seasons of American Idol, we might discover that "Straight Up" is one damn fine bit of ultimatum-delivering. I mean, there's that squirty trumpet-sounding thingy, there's a slicky modified hip-hop groove, a chorus that will kick your butt if you get in its way; and then, of course, that spoken bit in the middle fairly guarantees the song Perennial Drag Anthem status.
-28-
Song: Jack & Diane
Artist: John Cougar
Album: American Fool
Debuted July 1982
Peaked #1 (4 weeks)
Hold on to 16 as long as you can...
Ahhh, teenagerness in the Midwest. Well, it wasn't my teenagerness, but it was what I always imagined all the cool kids in high school did. Drivin' around in cars. Suckin' on chili dogs. Etc. John Cougar (not yet Mellencamp) had the power to make me feel like I could be as cool as Jack whenever I heard this song. But then, my air drummer would take over on that breakdown and my infinite dorkiness would be indelibly confirmed. But that's okay. BOM-BOM-BOM-bu-BADADA-tstststs-BOM-BOM-BOM-bu-BADADA-tstststs... Something like that. Is this air drum heaven? (No. It's Indiana!)
-27-
Song: The Look of Love Pt. 1
Artist: ABC
Album: The Lexicon of Love
Debuted September 1982
Peaked #18
They say, "Martin, maybe, one day, you'll find true love"
I used to hate all those soap operas that my mother was always watching. But then, maybe if soap operas were three-and-a-half-minute pop songs, and maybe if they had sharp, funky synthesized bass-lines and preening string sections and urgent, stage-whispered back-up vocals (that's the look! that's the look!), and maybe if they were sung by a guy who wore impeccably tailored gold lame suits, who not only had an Inner John Forsythe, but was also totally in touch with him, a guy unafraid to use words like "lexicon" in casual conversation, a guy unafraid to sigh luxuriously as he bemoaned the sorry state of his lovelife - well then, hey, maybe soap operas wouldn't be so bad after all.
-26-
Song: Edge of Seventeen
Artist: Stevie Nicks
Album: Bella Donna
Debuted February 1982
Peaked #11
He was no more than a baby...
I can just imagine the guitarist playing this song. You want me to play these razor-sharp eighth notes for- wait a second- how many gawd-damned verses does this song have anyway? Well, Mr. Guitarist. I would like to thank you personally. Your ceaseless, razor-sharp eighth notes, are, like- well, ceaseless and razor-sharp. And yes, absolutely, Stevie Nicks does go on and on and on for like, four thousand verses, but the song never loses it's urgency (in fact, it grows in urgency), and while Stevie does some pretty marvelous things vocally, it's only because she can... and she can because of you, Mr. Razor Sharp Eighth Note Guitarist Man. It's all you, baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-25-
Song: Rosanna
Artist: Toto
Album: Toto IV
Debuted April 1982
Peaked #2
All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes...
There's something about Rosanna. When Peter Gabriel broke up with her, he wrote a whole album about it - the critically derided Us in 1992). 10 years earlier, Toto's David Paich wrote a song about his bandmate's girlfriend Rosanna Arquette, and though the song appeared on the band's critically derided (but totally Grammy-winning) album Toto IV, the song "Rosanna" ended what was becoming a terminal dry spell of hits. It became one of the great summer songs of 1982 and hovered at the #2 spot for weeks.
The song sounded fabulous then, and it still does. Built over a solid, but understated jazz syncopation, the song boasts one of lead singer Bobby Kimball's best vocal performances, an epic-scale keyboard solo that sounds like the audio equivalent of a meteor shower, and if the dj was feeling particularly generous, he might play the long version which ended with a jazzy instrumental coda. Could it get any better than this?
-24-
Song: Africa
Artist: Toto
Album: Toto IV
Debuted October 1982
Peaked #1 (1 week)
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti...
Well, yes. Apparently it could. Two singles later (after the relatively modest chart performance of the song "Make Believe"), the band released the glorious "Africa". A love song all dressed up as an Ernest Hemingway short story full of wild dogs crying out in the night, wise old men with urgent, mysterious commands (hurry boy, it's waiting there for you!), and a handsome (voiced) protagonist "frightened of this thing [he's] become." Classic black and white romantic epics have been built from less. Add a soaring chorus full of rich, unexpected harmonies, an exotic beat and vaguely "African" keyboard embroidery, and you've got five minutes of adult pop perfection.
This song has been getting tons of airplay in my car recently. It goes great with spring storm warnings, dark, churning clouds, and those heavy wet breezes that precede a torrential downpour. The Channel 27 Super Doppler Radar Tower heartily appoves.
-23-
Song: Don't You Want Me?
Artist: Human League
Album: Dare
Debuted March 1982
Peaked #1 (3 weeks)
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar. That much is true...
This is actually one of the first songs I remember consciously knowing - by artist, etc. - and loving, and perhaps its no coincidence that when it topped the charts in the summer of 1982, two other songs from this list were in the top three. In that sense, this may be the song most singly responsible for my enduring love of synthesizer pop. That said, the song set an very high bar for the subgenre. A smart, brittle post-rags-to-riches break-up duet that played then-state-of-the-art electronics against an honest-to-goodness emotional struggle. In the second verse, singer Joanne Catherall (then a teenager, playing against Phil Oakey's colder, deeper-voiced, decidedly older leading man) comes across as immediately confident and strong ("even then I knew I'd find a much better place with or without you"), but becomes heartbreakingly vulnerable as she confesses "I still love you... but now I think it's time I led my life on my own." It's a line that played in my head non-stop when I was splitting up with the first great love of my life.
-22-
Song: I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)
Artist: Hall & Oates
Album: Private Eyes
Debuted November 1981
Peaked #1 (1 week)
Easy ready willing overtime, where does it stop, where do you dare me to draw the line?
In this song, Daryl Hall says, hey babe, you can have all the sex you want from me, but anything other than that: talk to the hand. How awesome and incredibly irresponsible is that? But wait! There's more. How 'bout that eminently sample-able rhythm track? How 'bout a melody that drives Daryl Hall into reluctant but ecstatic falsettos and then pulls him back just before he climaxes. Ooooh. So cruel.
-21-
Song: Here Comes the Rain Again
Artist: The Eurythmics
Album: Touch
Debuted January 1984
Peaked #4
Raining in my head like a tragedy, tearing me apart like a new emotion...
Not the group's biggest hit, but certainly their best. Like "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)", Annie sings the song in monotone, like a mantra - only where "Sweet Dreams" (written as a reactionary comment on the band's seemingly futile attempts at pop success) had an angry, dismissive edge to it, "Here Comes the Rain Again" (written in the midst of the unimaginable pop success of "Sweet Dreams") is vulnerable and anxious. In the video for the former, Annie comes on like a Wall Street dominatrix; in the latter, she's dressed in a ratty grey nightgown tip-toeing out along treacherous cliffs in the rainy dead of night. The song solidified The Eurythmics as one of the great pop acts of the 80s and remains a bracing fixture of Annie's live shows.
The song also has one of my favorite lyrics ever. I always loved the image of rain "falling on my head like a new emotion".
...
Oh. my. GAWD. Only the Top 20 left? Can you handle the antici-
-pation?
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