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Hear our voices... a not for profit book I wrote in.May 23 '06 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line ... Many of you know me personally. Some of you have become close friends over the years. But bet'cha didn't know I had an essay published 5 years ago for a not for profit organization. I had a posting about it up for a short time several years ago but took it down due to the many "don't pimp your own stuff" people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If your really bored and in a hurry, hop over to Myspace from my link at the top of my Ep's page and see pictures of the book and Chris and I at the book signing :) Oh and a link... case ya wanna buy one :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many of you know a bit of my history with my ex-husband. My journey from an abusive relationship to single parent to the loving marriage I am in today. It was a long journey of pain, struggle, depression and healing. This is only part of my life as I've come a long way from the wild child I was a decade ago. But it is part of it and part of that journey did involve being in an abusive relationship. What I've never told many of you is through that process I had an essay published for a local not for profit organization several years ago. The Domestic Violence Network of Greater Indianapolis (DVNGI). Know straight from the start I did not publish this under my own name for anonymity for all parties involved. I will explain that in a moment. This was something I did for myself as well as to help other women heal through their own journey as survivors of domestic violence. The Book was titled "Hear our Voices" and I must say maybe because the writing I submitted was so close to my heart and so deep for me. It is some of my best work. Well, ok maybe that editor did some fancy editing... but outside of that. It is written well, and it is my heart. A friend at my former place of work lead me to an add in the Indianapolis Star about a book being published through the DVNGI which was seeking survivors of abuse to submit poems, essays and artwork to compile for a book that would fund the organization but more importantly be used as a tool to help other survivors heal. This was something I found greatly interesting. Hoping my story could help someone else gave me a sense of resolution and a sense of putting my own former life at peace. To give a little background (just what I know off the top of my head) the DVNGI works with law enforcement, hospitals, shelters, doctors, lawyers, the prosecutors office and various other local business' to aid in helping battered and abused women and children. If you live in our area and you go to a hospital and see those cards in restrooms that say "Are you being abused? If so these are the signs and this is what to do....Call these numbers" Those little bitty business cards sized information cards that are put out by the DVNGI. This is but one tiny thing they do. I myself remember grabbing one of those cards. Because it was a great resource for phone numbers and help. I used this card countless times. So I submitted my entry. Totally not thinking my entry would be accepted as I wasn't willing to write under my "real" name. I mean I might be pretty bold. But at that time my Ex still terrified me and I wasn't about to go airing out our laundry and give him any good reason to kill me right? I might be dumb but I ain't stupid. I also have respect for his parents. There would serve no purpose in telling this story publicly and so boldly, I never intentionally hurt anyone. If I had written it under my own name I just felt I wouldn't have been helping women... I would have been hurting alot of people too. Somethings are better left unsaid. They know he abused me. They know a great deal. But somethings are so painful they don't need to be brought up and re-beaten in a persons mind. He is still their son. So when they contacted me around June of 2001 telling me they would be publishing my essay, I was shocked, excited and totally nervous. Out of thousands of entry's they accepted my little ole story. My story of how I did it, how I left, how I survived.... my story of hope. I went through the editing process. Went with how they had written my story as even though it isn't written in typical "Elaine" it did sound proper. So I let the editor do her editing job and didn't fight too much as there was a deadline. I Chose a legal pen name and signed all the proper documents noting as such and away it went to print. In September I received my official tickets to the Book signing and Hear our Voices Gala "event thingie". Which I'll not bore you with my giddy excitement. Outfit buying and finally seeing my writing in print for the first time (not to mention reading again over and over what I already knew I had written...crying everytime. Ok then I moved on to the other women). The initial sell of the books through Borders lasted for a few months. Later the organization sold them through Amazon. I thought they were gone and couldn't be found any more. After some research I found the DVNGI is selling the books through their office directly. I have listed a separate blog post at Myspce if you are interested in seeing the book and helping the DVNGI. In all it was an amazing experience to go through. No I didn't make any money. But knowing that someone out there might read one of the story's and relate and know there is hope, find healing and keep going. Gives me peace. If you should grab a copy. Thanks. Thanks alot. Because until you've been in that situation. NO you don't know. I never thought I'd find my self with some one abusing me. I was always capable of defending myself until my husband kicked my a.s.s, seriously. I had self esteem, I had self worth, I had... alot. He slowly took that away. Abusers are amazingly cunning, patient and in many ways they believe they aren't abusers and hope they can change their rage. But with out proper counselling... years of it. They can't and they won't. It is they who are afraid. Their fear of self is what drives them to abuse what they can't control. They can't control themselves or anything else in their lives so they hit you. Don't feel sorry for yourself, you can get help. They won't. It's rare that an abuser will. You are more likely to die by their hand than they are to get help and they will never get help as long as you stay, EVER. Why would they? If you have the $12 check it out. It's a cool book. Just for some general info on the book (for all you review lovers out there) The ISBN 0-9721448-0-3 (which is usless as it can't be found in stores anymore but I'll list any way for sh*ts and giggles) It is 141 pages thick so good amount for your money. It is a soft cover that measures 7" X 4" so it's not a whimpy little thing. There are 32 stories sectioned off into Three Sections "Coping" "Transition" and "Healing" (my work is listed in the healing section). I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is a terribly sad read, it is also uplifting and healing. I highly recommend it if you know someone who may benefit from a book of this sort. If you would like more details regarding this book, please don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you.  |
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