Workplace mobbing - My experience
May 24 '06
The Bottom Line Be strong and believe in yourself. Don't think like a victim.
Description of mobbing:
Mobbing is a modern term for systematic bullying, harassment, or psychological terror, especially in schools and workplaces, whereby one person is "ganged up" on and stigmatized by peers and/or superiors for reasons that are not genuinely or justifiably known to most of those who are mobbing the victim.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobbing
How I Was Mobbed At Work
Basically, my supervisor would do almost anything to demean or minimize me in the eyes of my co-workers.
Insulting jokes, negative comments about my work, the way I staple papers, my appearance.
If she asked me a question, it would be in an accusing manner, instead of simply a request for information.
She would tell people that I have an bad temper and to be careful of what you say to me. I may "blow up".
Or tell people that I was attracted to her and wanted to date her.
Another favorite was for her to speak to someone with her hand to her mouth and point at me with the remark, "Don't worry, I'm not talking about you", then laugh.
The common thread here is all of the above always took place in front of an audience.
Human nature being what it is, the co-workers went along with the supervisor and her theme, eventually doing themselves what previously only the supervisor would do.
It got to the point that if I spoke to anyone at all, people would giggle or raise their eyebrows and smile at me or each other.
How I Tried To Stop It
In my ignorance I tried to ignore everything. I felt that if I ignored it, they would stop if I didn't respond or defend myself. All that did was make me frustrated and angry and it probably encouraged my supervisor and co-workers.
I tried talking to the supervisor. She denied everything and accused me of being paranoid. The subject of our "talk" then became the source for new material to use against me in front of my co-workers.
I finally lost my temper and did "blow up". That was a temporary fix but all I accomplished was to reinforce the negative perception of me the supervisor was creating.
How I Stopped It
I have one of those mini tape recorders and I made an audio recording of my supervisor and her "crew" harassing me and I played it for my supervisors boss.
It didn't cure the underlying problem which caused the mobbing. But I was no longer being mobbed.
What I Learned
These are written as statements but they express my beliefs rather than what may be factual. In other words, my opinion.
1. My co-workers went along with my supervisor out of fear and instinct. That they felt if they did not go along, they would be aligned with me and also be targeted.
2. My supervisor was/is not suited for being in charge of employees. Possibly she is a sociopath.
3. While there are laws about harassment, the laws mean nothing unless someone is willing to act on them.
4. Ignoring mobbing will never make it go away.
5. Never accept harassment as being the price for having a job.
6. Never accept responsibility for being harassed.
7. The people who harass you are not your friends. That may seem obvious but it isn't. In most cases the mob includes people you previously got together with after work, or shared rides to and from work.
Your co-workers who become part of the mob may in the future be civil to you but they should never again be considered as someone to trust.
Their fear and weakness which caused them to mob you is not a quality you want in a friend. After all, if your "friends" refused to go along with the crowd, the mobbing would be done by a much smaller mob. Just keep your distance but remain civil and civilized. You don't have to like them.
8. If you find yourself again being harassed or mobbed, immediately make it known to several layers of management. For example send an email to your supervisor and a copy to his or her direct supervisor. Print and keep a copy for your own records.
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