Supersized families
Jun 13 '06 (Updated Jun 15 '06)
The Bottom Line It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
The other night, I was watching a program on the Discovery Health Channel about Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and their huge brood of sixteen children. It seems that the Duggar family recently took a vacation from their home in Springdale, Arkansas, driving a motorhome to Disneyland. They stopped at a few interesting places along the way, including the Grand Canyon, a dude ranch, and Las Vegas. Michelle Duggar mentioned that this was the first vacation the family had taken in six years.
The one thought that crossed my mind as I watched the show is that the Duggars seem to be amazingly organized people. The children range, whose ages range from 18 to under a year, each have names that begin with a "J". Everybody wears the same outfit with matching polo shirts. The boys wear jeans or khakis. The girls wear long skirts and long hair. Everybody seems to get along very well. Jim Bob Duggar is a handsome guy, looking every bit like the Arkansas politician that he recently was. This family lives debt free; both Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are licensed real estate agents. They also have a tremendous faith in God. Each child is homeschooled and the older ones are taught to play the violin and the piano.
Rick and Cathy Arndt are Illinois based parents of fourteen children. They have thirteen sons and one daughter, ranging from 26 to 3 years old. Like the Duggars, the Arndts are greatly devoted to their Christian faith. They also homeschool their children and play a lot of softball. I wasn't surprised when I saw that the Arndts are also strongly opposed to abortion. Rick Arndt has written an editorial about abortion on his site, comparing it to the atrocities of slavery. I suppose in some peoples' minds, abortion is worse than enslaving another human being. The Arndts' Web site offers a very detailed view of their lives, particularly for those who choose to donate to their Web site. I wonder why the Arndts are not as well-known as the Duggars are, particularly since they have more of a Web presence. The one really curious thing I noticed about the Arndt family's Web site is the page devoted to games. With that many children, who has time to play computer games?
My father grew up in a large family. He's the second oldest of nine children, eight of which survived til adulthood. His mother, who at age 99 is still alive and reasonably well considering her age, is one of ten children. She's the only one still living today. When my dad and his mother were growing up on farms in rural Virginia, having very large families made sense. The children worked on the farm. Nowadays, very large families are not nearly as common as they once were.
Last night, I started reading Seven from Heaven, by Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey. Remember them? Eight years ago, Bobbi McCaughey shocked the world when she gave birth to septuplets. When they added those seven babies to her family, Kenny and Bobby McCaughey were suddenly became responsible for eight children. Overnight, their family of three turned into a family of ten and they were officially a supersized family. Of course, back in my father's day, no one would have given birth to seven kids in one fell swoop. Bobbi McCaughey conceived all of those kids with the help of fertility treatments. When it came to light that she was carrying seven children, Bobbi McCaughey adamantly refused to selectively abort any of them. Like the Duggars and the Arndts, the McCaugheys are dedicated Christians who don't believe in abortion.
I look at pictures of these three huge families and I notice that everyone looks well fed, well groomed, and cared for. Everyone is smiling and looks happy. I wonder what it must be like to grow up in such a huge family. I'm sure there are a lot of fun times, but I also wonder about the stresses. With so many people in a household, I wonder if anyone gets any privacy or quiet time to just dream. I wonder about the individual talents and interests of each child and whether or not they're nurtured. I wonder if any of the children has time to have a conversation with their parents by themselves. And yet, I also see the potential positives in having such a large family. Cooperation and organization is a must and those are two skills that translate well to adult life. The experience has got to be very unique, as well.
I look at my dad's family. To this day, all of his surviving brothers and sisters gather together at my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Most of my cousins, many of whom are now themselves parents, also come together. Just about everyone gets along, which is more than I can say for my immediate family. We sit around, share stories, get to know each other. It's a good feeling to have an intact, loving family.
On the Internet, I've run across a lot of opinions about supersized families. Some people think it's irresponsible in this day and age to have so many children. Other people think it's not for anyone else to dictate how many kids a person should have, particularly if they aren't getting government assistance. Although I often wonder about the Duggars, the Arndts, and the McCaugheys and other supersized families like theirs, I don't condemn them for the way they live. However, I doubt it's a lifestyle I would (or could) choose for myself. In a week, I'll be turning thirty-four, so it's a bit late for me to be planning a family of sixteen! I think I'd be happy just to have one or two babies at this point in my life. But I do find it interesting to take a look at people who don't live the way I choose to live. And isn't it a great thing that in this country, when it comes to deciding how many children to have or not to have, we all ultimately still have the choice to decide for ourselves what's right?
Supersized family Web sites:
The Duggars http://www.duggarfamily.com
The Arndts http://www.famteam.com
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