Has Erin LOST Her Mind? Quite Possibly...Jul 24 '06 (Updated Feb 28 '10) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Hmmm, didn't somebody say LOST needed a theme song?
This morning, I mentioned to my brother Nathan that I wanted to write a song about LOST but hadn't yet settled on an appropriate song, having rejected Gilligan's Island as too obvious and subsequently used it for another parody. "Bohemian Rhapsody!" he exclaimed. And I must applaud him, because it was an inspired suggestion, and one I might not have thought of by myself. What follows is a mass of festering schizophrenia, but I hope you will find it as fun to read as I found it to write. The names in bold are to indicate the speakers; just imagine a massive music video containing every member of the principal cast and then some... The Castaways' Rhapsody Castaways: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Who knew that plane ride Would conclude in calamity? Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see... Boone: I'd be a hero, but Jack will not let me Because he's sure that he's in the know. Hurley: I'm getting vertigo. Why'd I have to win the - Boone: Nothing I do matters... Hurley: - dumb lottery? Kate: Sawyer, I killed a man. Now the one I love is dead. I wish it was me instead. Sun and Jin: We are both Korean and We cannot understand a thing you say. Michael: Walter, ooooh, didn't mean to make you cry. You bum me out because you didn't miss me. Walt: Vincent's gone, Vincent's gone, And my dad keeps getting madder. Charlie: I hate that my drugs are gone. Jack: I know that I'm a hunk And I think that Boone is bunk. Claire: I am really pregnant. This baby is Gonna finally pop out of me any day. Sawyer: Freckles, oooooh, (Sun: I wonder if Jin knows?) caught you in a lie, But I will keep your secret if you just kiss me. Hurley: I know the numbers on that map are evil, man. Danielle: I'm uncouth! I'm uncouth! And I killed my whole gang. Sayid: Oh, look, electric lighting! This woman is frightening me... Sawyer: We can't stay. Kate: No, we should stay. Jin: No, we can't stay. Locke: No, we should stay. Michael: No, we can't stay. Walt: No, we should stay - wait, better go... Locke: I'm just an old guy. Nobody trusts me. Everyone Else: He's just a man whose dad stole his kidney. Sawyer: I shot a bear but they still yell at me. Sayid: Crazy French lady, oh, will you let me go? Pilot: The monster! No! Felled Boar: I ran a bit too slow. Jin: Let me go! Kate: The monster! Vincent: Where did that Walt kid go? Charlie: Let her go! Shannon: The monster! Polar Bear: I ought to find some snow... Claire: Let him go! The Others: That kid's ours, you know. Walt: Let me go! Perplexed (But Enthusiastic) Viewers: What a crazy show! The Island: They should go... Enthusiastic (But Perplexed) Viewers: No, no, no, no, no, no, no... Michael: Oh, there must be a - Jin: There must be a - Michael and Jin: - way to get off if we row. Charlie: I'm in Drive Shaft, and You All Everybody was such a hit for me! Marshall: So you think you're a hero and have a good eye? So nice of you to shoot me and leave me to die! Shannon: I'm lazy And my step-brother's crazy. Michael, Jin and Sawyer: Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here. Michael, Jin and Sawyer: This raft's kind of tattered. Hope it's sea-worthy. Castaways: Our lives have been shattered. Fulfilled Viewers: But you make us gladder Each week... Everyone: Hear the ocean wind blow... LOST Parodies: Bohemian Rhapsody * I Am a Rock * White Christmas * Christmas Canon Rock * We Wish You a Merry Christmas * Christmas in Killarney * Henry the Eighth * Sweet Baby James * The Only Living Boy in New York * Here, There and Everywhere * He Was My Brother * For Baby (For Bobbie) * Sloop John B. * When I'm 64 * The Longest Time * Run for the Roses * You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore * Eye of the Tiger * Girls Just Wanna Have Fun * Leader of the Band * Same Old Lang Syne * Cat's in the Cradle * An Innocent Man * The Boxer * Sparrow * Loves Me Like a Rock * Der Fuehrer's Face * Goodbye Yellow Brick Road * Candle in the Wind * Scarborough Fair / Canticle * Hey Jude * Tears in Heaven * Bridge Over Troubled Water * House of the Rising Sun * Lover's Cross * Lasso the Moon * Rocket Man * El Condor Pasa * Hair * Why Don't You Write Me? * The Greening of Belfast * She Wore a Yellow Ribbon * Sons and Daughters * I'll Follow the Sun * What the World Needs Now Is Love * Danny Boy * Yesterday's Men * I Want to Live * Mountains of Mourne * That's a Woman * Desperado * Dance Little Jean * The Tinker * Brothers in Arms * Vanishing Breed * Time in a Bottle * Ordinary Man * Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall * The Black Velvet Band * Penny Lane * Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da * Take Me Home * Goodbye Mrs. Durkin * Ireland's Call * Steal Away * Ride On * Hey There, Delilah * Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious * Under the Sea * Greenland Whale Fisheries * The Island * Bleecker Street * I Will * Hit the Road, Jack * Sing Australia * The Wind That Shakes the Corn * The Hidden Hatch * Poems, Prayers and Promises * My Old Man's a Dustman * Coulter's Candy * Candida * Knock Three Times * I Don't Mind If I Do * We Kill the World (Don't Kill the World) * All This Joy * Overs * Brown Girl in the Ring * Fly Away * I'm Sorry * Hallelujah * The Orange and the Green * Heaven on Their Minds * Burning Bridges * While My Guitar Gently Weeps * Michael Row the Boat Ashore * Cracklin' Rosie * Annie's Song * Candle on the Water * Shilo * Gaston Poems: Baby Brother * The Pilot in the Pilot * Vincent * Of Sacrificial Death and Life * John the Baptized * Not Penny's Boat * Finding Vincent * I'm Lost Without... * Apollo * A Hurley Christmas * The Once and Future Ben  |
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