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Old Pictures Ruined by a bitter old woman.Jun 14 '07 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Don't cut your children's father out of family pictures, it is cruel and evil.
My mother keeps all her photo albums locked up in a chest inside a closet under a ton of junk. She has never been one to care about memories, or photos, or anything like that. I rarely remember her taking pictures. She even thought it was "stupid" to pay a photographer for my wedding. Yes, she's a real delight. So, I was real excited when I found an old photo album at her house. This prompted me to ask if I could get the other albums out of the chest- I told her I can put them all in nice scrapbooks. She said that she didn't want me to get into the closet because they are too hard to get to. Am I the only one that thinks it is weird to put pictures someplace I can't look at them? She told me I could take the album that was already out so I did. I stopped at the scrapbook store and bought a ton of stuff to work on the book with. When I got home to take the pictures out of the album, I discovered that my mother had scraped my father out of all the pictures. These are photos from the 1950's and 1960's- there is even one of him with President Kennedy- with my dad's face scratched out. To me, that is an evil thing to do especially when she has five kids that would want pictures of their father. I'm so mad about it, but I have made a promise to myself along time ago that I would not carry anger on my shoulders like my mom has done. My father has never done anything to warrant having his face scraped out of the family pictures. I know what some people might say- I can't possibly know everything that went on. That is true, but I know my mom and I know how she is. She imagines things and convinces herself that they are true. When my son had cancer and he was in the hospital all the time, I couldn't go see her that often- she yelled at me like a psycho and said "You and your sister are sitting at your house telling lies about me." Well, first of all- that is totally untrue- and secondly, we'd be doing her a favor if we lied about her, lying about her is the only way to make her look like a half decent mother. So see, I know she imagines all these horrible things people are doing to her. And even if my father did all the horrible things she thinks he did, he is still my father, my sister's father and my three brother's father- she had no right cutting him out of the family pictures. And let's not forget the grandchildren. My father died before I was married and had kids, so my son never met him- I would've really loved some pictures to show him. I know I am going to have to let this go. My mother is bitter, cruel, and in constant mental and physical agony- and I know it is because of the life she has lead. She clearly has mental disease that has definitely gotten worse throughout the years, on top of deep seeded guilt. I do not want to end up like her, and take such rage to the grave with me. I know that it could've been worse. My mother could've beaten us- she chose the "ignore us or call us names approach". And I think cutting our dad out of all the pictures is another way to abuse us. Now that we are all adults and she has no control over us she has to do something to hurt us, right? When my father passed away, he left the house to me and my siblings. I moved in with my brothers and we took care of the house. I lived there when I met the man that is now my husband. I was 23 when I met him. My mother, who moved in because my brother wanted her to, tried to ground me because she felt I was going out with him too much. She tried to ground a 23 year old whose home she lived in. How crazy is that? I ignored her, she ruined plenty of relationships of mine and my brother's before this, she would not be allowed to ruin this one. So she opted to not speak to me for two weeks- which was totally fine with me, we considered ourselves lucky when she chose this route. Allow me to clarify how truly violent the removal of my father's face from the photos was- she didn't just trim him out with a pair of scissors, she scraped him out of the pictures. In many of the pictures I can see ball point ink scribbled around the whole, like she committed this heinous act with a ball point pen. I finally decided to ask her why she scraped my father out of all of the pictures, and she said she didn't- she tried to tell me it was because the pictures are old. So why is only his face scratched out? I pushed, and she just tried to change the subject. I got angry and told her that scraping someone's face out of pictures is one of the stupidest and most selfish things you can do to your children, especially after our father is gone. I remember seeing my sister's wedding album (from her first wedding). She left it with my mom when she got remarried. My mom went through it and cut all the pictures of my dad and my sister's x-husband out of them. I totally forgot about it until I saw this recent photo album. After my husband and I were married for a few years she decided my husband was a snob, so she cut him out of all the wedding pictures I gave her in an album from our wedding. I found out about this yesterday, because she's in the hospital. I had to get something for her at my brother's house and I found the album. I wanted so badly to take the album and bring it to her in the hospital and tell her exactly what I thought. Oh gee, maybe the pictures got old, so my husband's section of the photos mysteriously disappeared. But I didn't bring it to the hospital, or ever show up at all. I called my brother and told him that I would leave the gown my mom wanted at the nurses station so he would know where to find it- I didn't think it was a good idea for me to go see her in the state I was in. I did take the album though, I spent a lot of money on that album for her and she ruined it, she does not deserve it. My husband wasn't mad about it, he just thought it was stupid. His mom has our wedding album we gave her in a glass cabinet with her other two son's wedding albums- they are on display as if it were a museum exhibit. The care she has shown is such a world of difference from how my mom has treated the album. Cutting these people out of her pictures might make her feel better, but it just leaves a big hole for everyone else that loves the victims of this rage. And to tell the truth, I don't even think it really makes her feel better- her anger has the snowball effect. It's all so stupid. So I have no pictures of the only parent that has ever encouraged me, I have no pictures of my dad- who was the love of my life- these pictures are gone just because my mom is a bitter, miserable, mental case.  |
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