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Educate Yourself, Be Pro-active in Your Treatments, The Journey Can Be Long and PainfulAug 23 '06 (Updated Aug 24 '06) Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line It can be a long road, so find a doctor who will listen and allow you to be Pro-Active in your treatment and educate yourself on all the options available!! Oh my, this has got to be one of the hardest reviews I've written thus far. Not just because the subject is so in-depth, but because so many women are in search of answers to their infertility problems, and this has been an ongoing journey for my husband and I since 1999. My Story Toward the end of 1998 was when we decided to begin our attempt to start our family. Our dream was to have a big family. Since we were both from large families we pictured lots of kiddies running around our house!! Of course our last thought was that we would have problems conceiving. During a routine visit to my gynecologist I brought up the fact that my husband and I had been TTC (trying to conceive) for several months, but obviously had no luck. After having lab work (progesterone on day 21 of the next cycle) confirm that I was not ovulating, the doctor decided to give me Clomid. Being naive to the world of infertility I trusted my doctor. But months passed and soon turned into a year without success of conceiving. I never should have been left on Clomid for that long!! But at the time, I didn't know, because I didn't educate myself. I simply placed my faith in this young OB/GYN. Now, let me stop there for a moment and explain a little bit about this drug for those who are new to the world of infertility. A Little About Clomid Most women who use Clomid achieve pregnancy during the first 4-5 ovulatory cycles. The average number of cycles on Clomid before moving to another type of drug is three to six. The maximum dosage of Clomid is 150 mg. This little pill also has a lot of side effects such as: mood swings, hot flashes, headaches, hostile cervical mucous (which can prevent pregnancy), 10% chance of multiple pregnancy, and these are just to name a few. So, I was on this drug for a year and at the maximum dosage for over half of that time. Finally, I was referred to an infertility clinic. At that time my husband also went through an complete male factor infertility evaluation by an urologist to rule out the possibility of him being a factor in our inability to conceive. Our experience with my gynecologist and the first infertility clinic was quite unsatisfactory so we knew it was time to change physicians and infertility clinics. As time went by and frustrations grew deeper, I began my research on infertility and knew just how important it was that I educate myself and become a pro-active patient rather than quietly sit by while others in the medical community played around with my fertility. I heard over and over again that as I approached 30 my chances of conceiving would drop!! Well, now I'm 35 and still without a biological child, but I've learned more about infertility and my body than what that first gynecologist will probably ever know!! What I've Been Through So this review is personal, long and maybe a little more detailed than some care to read, but I figure that's really the only way I can help anyone else understand what their options are when faced with this horrible disease. We learn from our own experiences, right? So why not learn from someone else, so hopefully the same mistakes will not be made and another couple will not have to go through all this heartache. All in all, we are now on our 4TH infertility clinic. Listen up--if you are not happy with your doctor, leave, that's your right!! And, that's exactly what we did. The second clinic, highly advanced, located at a medical college, helped us achieve our first pregnancy through the use of Clomid and IUI or intrauterine insemination (aka artificial insemination). But that pregnancy was lost very early. The response I received from the medical staff was cold. They basically knew at that point I could conceive and it (conception) could happen again. The whole experience with this clinic was cold, sterile, routine. We were just another statistic and as long as we were forking out the money for treatment they would continue to provide me with the same options month after month whether we were successful or not. As a part of my research I found the internet to be of great value. Of course you have to be very careful and make sure you are on a legitimate infertility web site because there is also a lot of misguided information out there. I also read several books, here are just a few: 1. Overcoming Infertility Naturally by Karen Bradstreet 2. Surviving Infertility: A Compassionate Guide Through the Emotional Crisis of Infertility by Linda P. Salzer 3. How to Prevent Miscarriage and Other Crises of Pregnancy by Stefan Semchyshyn, M.D. and Carol Colman 4. Pregnancy after a Loss by Carol Cirulli Lanham I've also utilized a journal over the years for recording trips to the doctor, writing down questions/concerns, and writing about my pregnancy success and devastating losses. This particular journal is titled, Wishing for a Baby A Preconception Journal. I would recommend anyone going through infertility treatments to journal, even if it's in a simple notebook. Make sure you journal/date doctors appointments, tests performed, the results, hormone levels, what was discussed at the doctor's appointment, any fertility intervention such as drugs administered, dosage, etc. I wish this horrible diagnosis on no woman, not ever, but unfortunately infertility affects about 6 million Americans. Recording this information will help you through each visit and if the road becomes a long one, you will have all that valuable information at hand. If You Are Just Starting Your Journey If you are reading my review and you are just starting your journey down the road of infertility, please don't let my experiences frighten you. Every woman (couple) who faces this has her own story to share, and many have very positive, wonderful experiences. What you need to do if you suspect you have infertility is discuss any of your medical concerns with your doctor. If (s)he is a gynecologist and places you on a fertility drug such as Clomid or Femera (Letrozole) and you are not successful at achieving a pregnancy within 3-6 cycles, make sure you discuss the options of being referred to an infertility clinic. You will also want to check with your insurance carrier to see what type of infertility coverage you may have. For years our health plan did not cover any types of fertility treatments. The financial stress became as great as the emotional and physical stress. If you do not have infertility coverage, talk to someone at the clinic about making payments. Many clinics will set up payment plans for expensive procedures. However, others will want full payment upfront. Educate yourself on treatment options and again, be pro-active. Don't be afraid to speak up. It is your body, your life, and if you have a doctor who doesn't want to listen to you then maybe it's time to move on. Here's another area that many may not think about initially when faced with infertility. That is dealing with family and friends. Some people will try to offer advice and be of great help while others will not have a clue as to what you are going through and may say something really inappropriate. I think I've heard it all!! Advice from people who don't have a clue. Words that hurt rather than heal. Really dumb comments that make you want to smack someone!! So my best piece of advice when it comes to dealing with family, friends, and those who think it's part of their business....prepare yourself (educate yourself) for those comments, unfortunately they'll come. Then, however you feel is appropriate, educate those around you. One of the worst things I believe that was ever said to me was actually in a large well known medical (infertility) clinic. During the time when our insurance carrier did not cover fertility treatments, we were seeking payment options so I could go through a cycle using the "super mama" (as I like to call 'em) drugs. We were looking at 1 month/cycle totaling in the thousands. We were sent to the financial office to see what kind of payment plan we could possibly be set up with. Upon entering, my husband and I were greeted by a very kind looking middle aged lady. I quickly found out that her kind looks would be very misleading and what came out of her mouth would tear my soul apart. When I explained to her what we were there for she said to me. "That (treatment) is something you'll have to pay for upfront. We can't make payment arrangements. Let me put it to you like this, honey. Taking infertility treatments is an option, just like having PLASTIC SURGERY. Plastic surgery is an option and your insurance won't pay for that either and we don't make payment arrangements for it. So I'm sorry. That's a CHOICE you are making. Look, what ever you do don't ever let anyone tell you INFERTILITY IS A CHOICE, because it is NOT!! No woman or man for that matter wakes up and decides this is an option for his or her life. Having a baby may be a choice for some but having infertility, the inability to have a baby is not. Infertility by definition is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. You nor I chose to be this way!! Unfortunately I grieve the loss of 5 precious babies. Yes, four pregnancies (one twin), all losses. It wasn't until the fourth pregnancy that I decided it was time to change obstetricians. It took that pregnancy for us to find a doctor who would listen to us and treat me as an individual rather than a text-book case. Although I still lost that pregnancy, we insisted on having genetic testing done on us and on our baby. I finally went through every type of blood test possible, to rule out everything from rare clotting disorders to simple hormonal imbalances. Some of the Different Types of Infertility Test ~Physical Exam ~Check for STDs ~Blood Work ~Ultrasound ~Male Evaluation ~Hysteroscopy which is a procedure that allows a doctor to look at the inside of the uterus by using a lighted viewing instrument (hysteroscope) inserted through the vagina and cervix and into the uterus. ~Laparoscopy is often used to diagnose and treat problems in the female reproductive organs, such as endometriosis, infertility, or tubal pregnancy. ~HSG or hysterosalpingogram is an X-ray test that examines the inside of the uterus, the fallopian tubes, and surrounding area. It often is done to look for a cause of female infertility. a special dye (contrast material) is injected through a thin flexible tube, or catheter, that is inserted through the vagina and the cervix into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are connected, the contrast material then flows into the fallopian tubes. As the contrast material passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes, continuous X-ray pictures are taken. ~Postcoital Test analyses a woman's cervical mucus after sexual intercourse to determine whether sperm are alive and able to move normally through the mucus. ~Endometrial biopsy ~Karyotype (chromosome analysis) or genetic test Types of Fertility Drugs I thought I would list a few of the types of fertility drugs for those new to this world of treatment. ~Clomid (most popular starting out to induce ovulation ) ~Femera (Letrozole) induces ovulation ~Follistim® (injection) (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) ~Repronex® (FSH) directly stimulates the ovaries ~HCG Injection(given to induce ovulation) ~Gonal - F® Injection(FSH)directly stimulates the ovaries ~UROFOLLITROPIN - INJECTION (Metrodin brand name) stimulates the ovaries used in combination with other medication to induce ovulation. ~Ovidrel (given to induce ovulation) Again, these are just a few of the many drugs on the market used in the treatment of infertility. Also, as you may very well note, several of the above drugs are listed simply by brand name but perform the same way. As I was saying earlier, we are now on our 4TH infertility clinic and I believe this will be our last. Not because of any sour attitudes or lack of compassion from the staff or doctor. They (nurses, receptionist, doctor, lab technicians, etc.) have been wonderful, remembering us by name, making every experience very private and personal. The clinic is small and intimate yet very high tech. However, our journey is nearing an end and unless a miracle happens for us, it will end on a very sad note. Our numerous attempts have been grave and with the recurrent pregnancy losses the Reproductive Endocrinologist doesn't give us much hope in ever having a biological child. So our worst fears have come to light, now it's facing them and trying to grieve what was never meant to be and move on. Our despair does not have to be darkened by worries of never having a child. We adopted a beautiful little girl at birth. She'll be 4 years old next month which seems impossible!! She is our joy and I certainly can't imagine loving a biological child more than her. Although I will always have thoughts of what our biological children would have looked like, what type of personality he/she would have had, what matters most to me is being a mother. I can accept never having a biological child, but I could never live my life to the fullest without having children to call me mommy. To My Elianah: You were born in my heart, not under it. For it is in the heart that true conception begins. OPTIONS So yes, there are other options for those with infertility. That is if you come to this point in your journey. Like us, there is the option of adoption. Of course we also continued with our infertility treatments along the way. Adoption is not as difficult or as expensive (government reimbursement up to $10,000) as many people think. There are some wonderful resources out there to assist you in exploring this option and to help you know if this is the right choice for you. For others there is the option of IVF or IVF using donor eggs. If male factors are to blame, there are treatment options available as well. Some may choose to use a surrogate while others may choose to live a child-free life. Is It The End Many of you will have the happy ending scenario and will bring into this world a beautiful healthy baby. Just make sure and I can't stress it enough, that you've educated yourself, you know the side effects of any fertility drugs you may take, listen to your body, and be a pro-active patient. Ah yes, for those who have walked this path you know infertility is an extremely stressful time, emotionally, physically, financially. "Scheduled intercourse" can become mundane, disappointment with a failed cycle can lead to extreme emotional upheaval. But by all means, make sure you take care of yourself AND your relationship. Make time for relaxation and some fun....if you know what I mean ; ) Good luck to you on your journey to parenthood and thank you for reading my story. Helpful web sites Here are just a few of the web site that are quite helpful in dealing with the issues of infertility, insurance coverage and pregnancy loss. www.inciid.org InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination if filled with valuable information. INCIID also has the one and only National IVF scholarship program. www.resolve.org www.hygeia.org provides comfort and support to those who have lost a pregnancy or newborn www.parentsplace.com covers the whole gambit of pregnancy and parenting www.asrm.org/patients/insur.html is where you can find details about state's where infertility coverage has been enacted www.ivf.com/lettermb.html this web site provides a letter to give family and friends to help them better understand how to help you cope with infertility issues.  |
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