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Thank you (Reply to this comment)
by dpardee76
I don't know who you are.. but you're spin on your personal feelings.. and how you feel after the loss of your children is amazing and very settling for me.. I gave birth to my twin boys last Weds... and although they were only 15 weeks gestationally... I miss them soooo much.. I am so sick of people telling me to "get out and get over it".. and " you weren't even pregnant long enough to know them or care...". It doesn't matter if I was pregnant for 4 weeks or 40 weeks.. these were my boys.. whom I delivered.. named.. baptized and buried.. I love those boys like I do my own 3 living chidren.. and the Lord took them.. I am so tired of hearing people say it was "probably for the best".. and "you never know what was wrong with them".. I don't care if there was 10000 medical problems w/ them. I am a strong woman and very strong mom.. I can deal with and conquer anything.. I would have made everything right for them.. if I would have had the chance.. but that chance was taken away from me.. and God choose to call my sons home early.. and I will try very hard to NOT question why because only the Lord knows why he calls those we love home.... but it hurts.. and hurts sooo much.. I will love my baby boys forever.. and will never forget them.. their innocence and beautiful existence.. as short as it was... Jace and Jackson.. Mommy will love you forever and never forget you,.....
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Mar 21 '12
3:59 pm PDT
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thank you (Reply to this comment)
by ddavis20
I am so glad that I found your article. Yesterday, I started spotting. Everyone told me that it was normal but I just felt that something was wrong, and I knew that I needed to check on my baby. I went to the ER, and my baby had no heartbeat. I still had hope that I would go to my OB today and she would tell me that ER doctor was crazy, and that my babys heartbeat that was going strong at 123bpm 3 weeks earlier, was even stronger now. But, that didn't happen. It was confirmed today that my baby was suppose to be measuring 10wks was only measuring 7wks5d and that there was no heartbeat. It is so hard to think about for the past few weeks, I've been talking to my baby everyday and just being such an excited mom, while my baby was just in me with no heartbeat. I am so mad at my body for waiting so long to even let me know. Now for another hard part, just have to play the waiting game. I scheduled to have a d&c but that's 4 days away... I'm trying to learn how to cope mentally but the physical pain is just a reminder constantly. This is so hard... the hardest thing I have ever dealt. I have never known how women who have went thru this have felt, but now I know, from my experience. Thanks for this post. It truly means so much to me.
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Jun 10 '11
3:03 pm PDT
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thank you (Reply to this comment)
by ms_jasmine
My due date was october 27th,2011.A halloween baby.I miscarried March 10th.Everyone told me those awful,hollow words,that instead of healing,scar.Its salt in an open,raw wound.No one understands.I've been searching for the last 20 days how to cope,and understand my pain my anger my grief...how I wanted to punchh everyone in the teeth,whoinstead of saying "I'm sorry",would say something so ignorant as "well at least it happened now"...the anger is still there...but hopefully in time,I will get MY baby.I believe HE is still around me,waiting for a body strong enough for his soul to come intothis world with.A talk w/my pastor validated my thoughts.Call me crazy but I call it hope.Once again...thank you.
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Mar 31 '11
9:28 am PDT
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delayed sorrow (Reply to this comment)
by crazieme
Thank you so much for sharing. I'm very sorry for your loss. At this time, I think I'm going through an extremely delayed depression. I lost my baby at 12 weeks, 6 years ago. My younger cousin is now pregnant and I am feeling very selfish and jealous that the whole family is so happy for her. I keep going back to 2003 when I was in a horrible relationship and trying to figure out how I was going to be a single parent. I now believe that I did not properly grieve at the time of my baby's passing. Now it has come back to haunt me. I wanted that baby more than anything and now I finally have a heavy heart. Your entry really helped me today through my tears and I thank you immensely for that.
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Oct 21 '09
4:27 pm PDT
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thank you (Reply to this comment)
by klharper
I know it has been three years since you wrote this but it really helped me feel like i was not alone...thank you for share your story to help others!
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Mar 18 '09
8:26 pm PDT
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Thank you (Reply to this comment)
by carneys_ID
I joined epinions years ago and never thought to read this topic. I was just told yesterday that my baby died last week - 11 and one half weeks old. It's still not real to me, just grief. The miscarriage hasn't occured yet so the waiting is very hard.
Your article has helped me so much. Thank you for the words, the advice, the links.
Blessings
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Jul 11 '07
7:41 pm PDT
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Thank you (Reply to this comment)
by Barefooter
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for the babies you've lost.
Karen
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Dec 01 '06
7:58 pm PST
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Thank you. (Reply to this comment)
by rockgal
I miscarried on July 29th, and it was so difficult for me. I appreciate the things you wrote. If just one person is prevented from saying something unwittingly insensitive to a grieving mother, by reading this, I think your efforts are rewarded. I am sorry for all you have gone through. God bless you.
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Oct 31 '06
11:03 am PST
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I'm so sorry to hear all this... (Reply to this comment)
by serc
And I'm impressed with your fortitude and perseverance. I think after that first experience I would have been scared off forever.
-Sara R-C
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Oct 27 '06
12:04 pm PDT
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I am very sorry (Reply to this comment)
by lyoness913
for your loss. I won't say I know how you feel personally, but I have suffered the loss of a baby as well. It's a sickening feeling that I'll never forget. My thoughts are with you.
Summer
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Oct 17 '06
2:45 pm PDT
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My friend, (Reply to this comment)
by shantel575
you have certainly been through a lot and while I am so sorry for all the loss you have experienced, I thank God for the 3 blessings you have that can hug and kiss you everyday :)
Shantel
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Oct 11 '06
2:02 pm PDT
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I'm so..... (Reply to this comment)
by kamel622
.....sorry. Thank you for writing this, I'm sure there will be many who read it who need to hear your words.
I had a stillborn 25 years ago and no, you don't ever forget. She is our angel, but you are right that wasn't a lot of comfort at the time. I agree too, the fathers have suffered a loss as well and need others to acknowledge their pain as well. I know my husband felt very left out.
God Bless and so happy to see you back on epinion. ....Make it a great day.....kath
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Oct 11 '06
9:17 am PDT
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In tears.... (Reply to this comment)
by kbolton72
Awe...
I lost my third child at 16 weeks, and it was devestating...it took me years to not cry at Christmas, or to not feel irritated at other expecting moms who complained about being pregnant!
It is hard. A miscarriage is a death. You will always miss and love that child, and you will always wonder what could have been.
I know, I hate the well wishers who don't even listen to you. If they listened to you, they would know what to say. People let these things roll off their shoulders because THEY were not attached to the baby yet. Just because you aren't in the 2nd or 3rd trimester does not mean that you were not already planning this child's future, graduation, and all of the happy moments that you get to share with him or her.
It is especially hard when you have names picked out. It doesn't ever really go away. True, it is not the focus, but you will always have that empty spot. I wish you well and I wish you luch!
Thanks for writing this! It was beautiful!
hugs,
Kimmie
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Oct 08 '06
9:19 pm PDT
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Thanks for this (Reply to this comment)
by KMINER,  in Kids & Family
it should give comfort to those having to go through this same thing multiple times.
We had some bleeding in the 2nd pregnancy but thankfully it was always me being sick, the baby was always fine (who knew?) :)
Nice to see you writing - Kimm
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Oct 08 '06
3:23 pm PDT
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Re: Hugs to you (Reply to this comment)
by Mininut
THank you, I really don't think people mean to be insensitive but I really believe they just don't know what to say to someone who has had a loss. I had a friend actually tell me that "It wasn't like you needed another child right now anyway" and yet another who had been trying to concieve for a couple of years tell me "Some people get to have a baby and then turn around and have another, must be nice." I understand her words were due to grief and pain but I think I had my fair share of losses. A loss is something I would never wish on anyone for any reason. Most people just don't know what to say when all you really need to say is "I am sorry, I am here for you."
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Oct 08 '06
8:05 am PDT
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Hugs to you (Reply to this comment)
by beckish
Hi there,
I can imagine this review was pretty painful for you to write and I applaud you for doing it. I am sure your review will help many women. I had a friend who miscarried between each of her four children, and I couldn't believe how insensitive people were.
Hugs,
Becky
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Oct 08 '06
6:04 am PDT
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Though I don't know what you've gone (Reply to this comment)
by jo.com
through I can always be a shoulder. My mom had several miscarriages - one I remember at about 5 and one when I was 10. I'm an only child but not by choice. It was heartbreaking for her I know.
Hugs, jo
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Oct 07 '06
5:46 pm PDT
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I will say this... (Reply to this comment)
by gatorgirlie
You are much, much braver than I am. When my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I was pretty convinced that I could never go through it again. If I had suffered more, I don't think I could have made myself go through the pain.
I agree that people have said the most insensitive and idiot things ever... I never understood the point of saying "You're young, you can have another..." Like that's supposed to make me feel any better. Would you go to a mother who just lost her 5 year old and tell her that? Or how about going to a man who was just widowed and telling him "Don't worry, you can marry someone else!" I never really minded the whole "I know how you feel," because it made me realize that I wasn't alone -- other women had gone through this. I was amazed at the number who did -- women that I had known the vast majority of my life, yet chose to never talk about it.
Anyway, thank you for writing this. Another voice added to this category can only strengthen! Have a great day
Jen
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Oct 06 '06
8:56 pm PDT
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