"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat..."
Nov 14 '06 (Updated Nov 24 '06)
The Bottom Line I'm a purist. If it's filmed in black and white, watch it in black and white.
Here we go. With the holiday season coming I thought you might want to plan how to spend your Sunday afternoons.
The top 10 according to Shmoo (in no particular order).
Feel free to disagree where you will.
Scrooged (1988) “Around here, Some people call me “Missa Cross!”.
Probably the best re-telling of the Scrooge tale. Bill Murray plays a workaholic TV executive who has forsaken everything and schemed his way to the top rung of the ladder. He is forced to not only deal with the ghostly visitations but with the very real threat that someone is trying to steal his job.
Bobcat Goldthwait is brilliant as his stuttering, stammering (and possibly psychotic) Cratchet. Carol Kane as the sickeningly sweet yet sadistic and abusive Christmas Present should make you laugh out loud. One of Murray's strongest performances but Goldthwait steals every scene he's in.
Very funny and the ending will still put a lump in your throat.
Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964 Animated) “Bumbles Bounce...”
Rudolf, Herme, Yukon Cornelius and of course “The Bumble”
A great movie for kids because none of the main characters fit in. Rudolf is teased from birth because of his nose so he chooses to run away. He runs in to Herme the Elf who has also ostracized himself because he hates making toys and just wants to be a dentist, and Yukon Cornelius who is using his sense of taste to help him mine.
What would it take for Rudolf to be accepted by Santa? Perhaps a very foggy Christmas Eve. While were at it Santa, let's find loving children for all the inhabitants of the Island of Misfit Toys.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) “I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-a$$, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey $hit he is. Hallelujah. Holy $hit. Where's the Tylenol”
That line alone is possibly the greatest in movie history.
Clark Griswald loves Christmas and all he wants is to host the perfect family holiday. Perfect lights, perfect family and a perfect present to be bought with his yearly bonus. However the twenty five thousand imported, Italian, twinkle lights don't work, his in-laws are snapping at each other or senile, his obnoxious brother in-law shows up in an RV with no place to live, the interior of his house is slowly being destroyed by accidents and animals and his bonus hasn't arrived.
My favorite scene?
The old home movies in the attic... but I'm a sucker for Ray Charles.
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (1970 Animated) “Put one foot in front of the other...”
with Burghermeister Meisterburgher and Mickey Rooney as Kris Kringle.
The story of Kris Kringle from birth to old age. An orphaned kid who grows up loving to make toys and give them away. When toys are outlawed, Kris becomes a fugitive who must figure out a way to get the toys to the kids.
A very original concept and Mrs. Santa was a red headed hottie.
Miracle on 34th Street (1947) “Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.”
A man who is requested to play Santa at a department store soon admits that he is, in fact, Kris Kringle. When he ends up in a mental hospital a court case is held to decide if he is who he says he is. An employee of the store follows all this closely (and angrily) as she has lost all faith and has tried to teach her daughter that the thought of a “Santa Claus” is garbage.
Every time the mail carriers show up in the courtroom I want to stand up and cheer.
To this day I can't close my eyes and think of Santa Clause with out picturing Edmund Gwenn.
The Year With out a Santa Claus (1974 Animated) “I'm Mr. Heatmiser, I'm Mr. Sun...”
Mickey Rooney is back as Santa Claus in what could be considered a sequel to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.
Santa's got a cold and is feeling blue because he doesn't think that kids believe in him anymore. He decides that he will take this year off and maybe all the rest as well. Mrs. Santa and 2 elves make it their mission to find someone who believes.
The Heatmiser/ Snowmiser songs are addictive. You'll end up humming them for a while.
I just this moment found out that a live action version has been made this year with John Goodman as Santa (natch) Harvey Fierstein as Heatmiser, Michael McKean as Snowmiser and Carol Kane as Mother Nature. It airs on December 11th. I'm going to have to watch it.
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) “Merry Christmas Movie Theater!”
George Bailey is a truly good man with a loving family who is loosing his faith in humanity.
We've watched him grow and give up his dreams repeatedly for what he believed was right. Now, he's been beat up and could very likely go to jail. When he contemplates suicide, his Guardian Angel shows up and grants the first wish that comes out of George's mouth, he shows him what the world would be like if George had never been born.
My personal favorite of every Christmas movie ever made. I'm not ashamed to admit that I weep like a baby every time I see it. C'mon guys... who out there has so much testosterone in them that they can't admit they get choked up on every viewing.
Robbie The Reindeer: Hooves Of Fire (1999 Animated)- “I'm a big fat lying Snowman...”.
Robbie wants to be on Santa's team of sleigh pulling Reindeer but to do so he will have to prove himself in competition.
He searches out “Old Jingle” the retired, reclusive and somewhat crazy reindeer as a mentor. The head reindeer, a puffed up egotistical (and possibly steroid riddled from the look of him) Blitzen tries to stop him any way he can.
2 versions of this movie exist. The original was voiced by actors from across the UK (Robbie Williams, Rhys Ifans) and then for some reason it was over dubbed by American performers (James Woods, Ben Stiller, Britney Spears?) . Oddly, the one Character they kept as British was Blitzen who's the antagonist.
Get the original, It's funnier, especially the characters of Des Yeti and Alan Snowman.
If you like the style of Wallace and Gromit, you'll like this.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) “Oh NO! I’m speaking in RHYME!”
Yup, this has to make the list.
The Grinch, a lonely, reclusive former adopted “Who” lives alone on a mountain and is demonized by the inhabitants of Whoville. He flips back and forth between relishing his villainy and wanting to be accepted.
When he's shamed and embarrassed in front of the entire town by his old rival, the Mayor of Whoville, he plots to end Christmas.
Jim Carey was incredibly funny.
The 2 scenes that stand out are the Grinch trying to decide what to wear before the Award ceremony ("That's it.... I'm NOT going") and being force fed various items (cake, pudding etc) with one old guy shoving an unknown food item in his mouth.
Scrooge (1951)..need I say it? “God bless us, everyone.”
no, not the 1938 version and not the 1984 version with George C. Scott.
Not the Henry Winkler version (which was filmed for TV in 1979, was called “An American Christmas Carol” and had Fonzie starring as “Benedict Slade”. It's surprisingly watchable) and not the Muppet version which I still can’t watch due to the fact that it was the first movie with Kermit after Jim Henson died.
Not Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol from 69, not the 1970 musical version with Alec Guiness and Albert Finney, not the version where Rich Little impersonated various celebrities playing all the parts and not the Scrooge McDuck version.
Not the Patrick Stewart version from 1999 and not Karrol’s Christmas (with Verne Troyer and the ghost of Jacob Marley mahn... iree).
The BlackAdder Christmas Carol was a really funny twist on the concept- a nice guy becomes a bastard- but not that one either.
Definitely not “A Diva’s Christmas” with Vanessa Williams as “Ebony Scrooge”. I’d rather pore salt in my eyes and sew them shut.
Yes, the 1954 version with Alastair Sim. The most common one you can find in any video store. It's the best.
Alastair Sim has haunted sunken eyes through the entire flic and his happy dance at the end of the movie will make you think he's flipped his wig. Is he turning over a new leaf or is he ready for the nut hatch.
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Location: Milton On. Canada
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