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Dear Mom; With Undying Love, Debbie (Letter # 17)Nov 23 '06 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line I love you and miss you terribly, Mom.
November 23, 2006 Thanksgiving Day Dear Mom, It is so hard to believe that 5 years have gone by since that awful Thanksgiving Day, 2001, when your horrible struggle against dementia came to an end. I will never forget the sunrise that day, November 22, 2001. It continues to be the most incredible sunrise I've ever seen; all others since have paled by comparison. Watching that sunrise, I knew your brave battle against a body which had long betrayed you would finally end. Yesterday, the actual calendar anniversary of your passing, I meant to watch for the sunrise, but instead, I slept soundly. Of course, I thought of you all day. I wasn't home when Sandee left her message, lamenting our loss of you, our beloved and much-needed mom. Remember all the fun we had with Picky Time, Mom? Whenever 1:11 or 11:11 would come around on a digital clock, we'd shout PICKY TIME with such silliness and laughter. It was such a welcome relief to all the sadness surrounding Dad's death. Well, when I listened to Sandee's loving message, I had to smile when the voice mail announcement came that the message had been left for me at 1:11! I know Sandee didn't do that intentionally; she doesn't even live in the same time zone! Five years after your death, I still haven't resolved the spiritual crisis I was thrown into when you died in my arms. From that moment on, my faith in the afterlife disappeared completely. Death now seems so final. I want to believe that the spirit lives on, but I just can't. This morning, Thanksgiving, I woke up around 6:20. When I noticed a familiar orange glow in our bedroom, I knew I had to sit up and turn around to gaze outside the bedroom window. The sunrise was just starting, Mom. The timing was perfect. The horizon looked like it had just been set on fire, with only a sliver of golden flames nudging the deep blue skyline. There were many gray clouds above the horizon, so I kept watching. I felt like I was watching G-d paint! Over the course of the next 15 minutes or so, the fire slowly spread across the sky. Striking shades of gold, orange and pink steadily washed over each cloud in its path, adding to G-d's incredible masterpiece! Each gray cloud gave way to a blush of pink, then orange, and finally a radiant fire gold, causing the next gray cloud in its path to turn pink, then orange, and then gold. The sky, so calm, sleepy, peaceful, and dark only moments before, looked more like a raging wildfire! "Something" urged me to turn on my clock radio. When I did, "Kiss from a Rose" just started playing. It's a nice enough song, but means nothing to me personally. I almost turned it off, when I felt a sense of urgency, almost pleading with me to keep listening to the end. When the song ended, the deejay came on, saying, "What a wonderful song to listen to while watching one of the most glorious sunrises I've ever seen in my life! This is why we get up at this hour, folks!" I'm so glad I was awakened in time to see a replay of that unforgettable sunrise 5 years ago, Mom. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. With undying love, Debbie  |
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