Butt Monkey Chimp Chiller Ale: A Simian Might Drink It Again...I Won'tFeb 02 '07 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Spirits and Beers
The Bottom Line Butt Monkey’s Chimp Chiller Ale will do the job if you want to get hammered, but that’s all. Otherwise, its best use is as a urine sample.
Whenever I peruse my favorite beer cooler of choice, invariably there is the risk that a choice I make will not pan out. It may be the flavor (I’m not big on fruity beers), it may be the style or region (I’ve yet to truly embrace Belgian beers), it could have gone bad, or it may be one of those choices that can only be explained by “what was I thinking?” Some choices can only be explained as an impulse purchase. Such was the case when I picked up a six pack ($6.99) of Butt Monkey’s Chimp Chiller Ale by a group called the Golden Beverage Company, whose products (4 other offerings according to its Web site) are contract brewed by the Lion Brewery in Wilkes-Barre, PA (Lion makes long-time regional Stegmaier and the Pocono brand of beers, among others). Calling themselves the Golden Beverage Company is a Freudian slip as it were because the ale offered is about as appetizing as a urine sample. So perhaps this company is aiming at the fetishist beer market; they’ve certainly missed the “actually like beer that tastes good” market. The only thing the company does seem to have is marketing slogans: 1. “Get off your butt and grab a monkey.” 2. “Born of irreverence for your enjoyment.” 3. “We know it’s a chimp, just drink the beer.” 4. “A fine ale brewed to perfection for the more discriminating taste.” Butt Monkey’s Chimp Chiller Ale pours to a golden wheat color (like a urinalysis sample) with a frothy head that disappears in a nanosecond. Carbonation is readily apparent. No offensive odors are detected. The taste is OK, nothing illuminating. It is inoffensive and bland, bordering on no taste. If served ice-cold, it maintains its crispness for about 3-4 minutes, or the time it takes to roughly chug a 12-ounce bottle. In short, it tastes like the kind of offering that macro-brew lovers invariably seem to have in their refrigerators. This beer will get you drunk if you drink enough of it. It has the slightly chemical aftertaste that macros are known for as well. It is decidedly a starter choice if anything for simple taste buds (it seems more of a lager in taste and style than an ale, though it could just be a poor attempt at a golden ale). There is very little malt or hop character apparent here. The label contains no information on the ingredients, or alcohol by volume (ABV) rating, which is a sure sign of questionable pedigree. I suspect that adjuncts are included in the ingredient mix (rice, corn, or a combination thereof, as well as chemical additives). The other warning sign about Butt Monkey is its gimmicky appearance (a large chimp on the label) and its overuse of marketing slogans. The fact that it is marketed as a “lifestyle” offering is predictable of its lack of quality. Lifestyle products are ones (outside of birth control condoms) that generally have no purpose or need to recommend their purchase. Lifestyle products are junk, aimed at consumers as impulse buys, or for people who generally believe what they see on television. If you describe yourself as a consumer and not a human being, this is the beer for you. If you are part Simian, here’s your beer. A dog would drink this beer. If you have to wear a helmet because of your soft skull, here’s your beer. If you cannot think critically (“my brain hurts”), here’s your beer. If you’re a fat lazy bastard, here’s your beer. This beer is marketed as an insult at people who don’t know they are being insulted. It’s a cynical ploy right out of Mike Judge’s “Idiocracy.” It is a sure sign of the coming beer apocalypse so perhaps it should be marketed at evangelicals waiting on the “Rapture,” except those people generally don’t drink and don’t believe in evolution so the Simian theme would not go over well. If you buy this as an impulse or gag (like I did), then that’s one sale the company will never make again. They will have to find another sucker for sale number two. Butt Monkey’s Chimp Chiller Ale is beer in name only. It is beer as product and overpriced at that. This is beer. That we know. Mind you, this is drinkable, but drinkable does not denote enjoyment. It’s drinkable in the way that Dixie Beer is drinkable; Bud is drinkable; Miller is drinkable; Schlitz is drinkable; and the list goes on and on. [If you’re looking for a crisp pilsner style offering with some bite and sharpness, you should look elsewhere to an import or a real micro from Pennsylvania like Victory, Stoudt’s, or Troegs, or a traditional like Yuengling, etc.] Butt Monkey’s Chimp Chiller Ale will do the job over the course of a six-pack if you want to get hammered, but that’s all. Its only benefit that I can see is that you will be able to substitute its contents for a urinalysis test if you need to beat a drug test, probably (one star). Sources www.buttmonkeybeer.com  |
| Read all comments (9)|Write your own comment |
|
Ads by Google
|
