It looks like a Temper Tantrum.. Autistic Children in a "behavior"
Apr 02 '07
The Bottom Line Tantruming can be an autistic behavior, not a reflection of poor discipline.
Do you ever feel like you want to just outright scream, flop down, or have a fit when things don't go your way?
Its "ok", or come to be expected, that a small child (2 & 3 years old) may tantrum as a way to express themselves not getting what they want. But, its not so acceptable when older children (or adults) behave in this manner. So, when an older child has a tantrum in public it is quite a spectacle. To anyone watching, they may see your child as acting like a monster, or make presumptions about your parenting skills. What they may not know is that the child flopped down on the floor, kicking and screaming has Autism.
When an autistic child is having what looks like a temper tantrum, it is called a behavior
Call it what you will: temper tantrum, TT, a fit, or a behavior. The bottom line is that your child is acting out inappropriately (and maybe, in public) when things aren't going "the right way" (in their mind). Unfortunately, I am all too familiar with tantrum behavior because this is something my six year old son who is on the Autism spectrum (PDD-NOS) does.
Tantrums are a way of communicating
While my 2 year old neurotypical child (the "normal" one) may have a fit because she is just learning the words to express herself. My son, who is 6 - has language and communication issues that are part of his Autism. If he is unable to express himself and get the words out, he may resort to a tantrum as a means of getting across (to everyone in the world around him) that things are "not right". No matter how old the child is or explosive the tantrum its all uncomfortable and can be embarrassing. But, if my 2 year old has a TT people are generally sympathetic. I wish I could say the same about when my autistic child has a tantrum, but I cannot.
What can cause a behavior?
Each child is different. I'm speaking here from my own experience with my autistic and neurotypical children. I'm not a doctor, nor a therapist or a teacher. I am a mother who has lived through many (possibly hundreds? maybe more?) of tantrums, and lived to share. I'm not an expert, and I'm always learning.
1)Being Hungry or Tired
Similar to a temper tantrum that my 2 year old might have, a behavior can have similar triggers. Things like being hungry or overtired, can play a big role. While being hungry or needing a nap are enough to send my 2 year old over the top, they might not completely send my son into meltdown mode. However, if he is tired or hungry this will most definitely make him more prone to a behavior like this. Think about it, if you are tired or hungry then aren't you cranky and easily set off? I know that I am.
2)A Break in Routine
My son, like most autistic children, is fixated on routines. His daily schedule and the "order" in which events take place can become almost like a ritual that in his mind can't be broken. When there is a break in his routine it is not uncommon for him to engage in a behavior.
Here's an example: My son takes the bus every day to school. One day we missed the bus and I had to drive him into school. Understandably, he was upset about not getting on his bus to go to school. When I drove him into school he flopped down into the lobby on the floor and required 3 adults to get him from the lobby into his classroom. He screamed, sobbed, kicked his legs and arms and was almost self-injurious. Eventually he got so upset that he threw up. He wanted to take the bus to school and didn't understand the break in his routine. Lesson learned: be sure to get up and ready so as not to miss the bus to avoid a behavior.
3)Overstimulation & Sensory factors
The other big thing that will cause my son to have a behavior has to do with environmental factors. Many autistic children (my son included) are riddled with sensory issues. My son has his fair share of them. What's a sensory issue? I'll try to explain.
Do you ever have a shirt that has a tag on the back that rubs you the wrong way?
Does the sound of nails on a chalkboard raise the hairs on your arms?
Imagine sitting in a room with a shirt that has 100 of these tags with everyone around you running their nails down chalkboards. Thats just the tip of iceberg.
My son is extremely sensitive to loud noises and applause. Sudden applause, loud cheering, and even singing can send him into a spiraling meltdown. Regular things like going to a grocery store or shopping at a place like Target or Wal-mart can take on a life of its own. These places are big, they are busy with lots of people, lots of noises, funny smells, bright lighting, and then some. Overstimulation City. You'll often see my son cover his ears when we enter into stores from the outside. I wouldn't ever have noticed all the background humm (the muzak, the intercom, checkout sounds) but since having a child with sensory issues I too have become very aware. I feel like I need to be one step ahead and anticipate the meltdown. If I can see it coming, I may be to able to intercept the pass.
Taming Tantrums - How to deal with "temper tantrum"-like behavior
I've gotten better at dealing with my son's tantrums over the past few years. And, even think I've prevented a few by anticipating and redirecting before a small meltdown turns into a full blown smackdown fit. But, these tantrums are still a matter of fact for us and are still quite traumatic for everyone involved (me, my son, his sister, and any onlookers). I'm focusing in this review about how I have dealt with tantrum behavior on the part of my child on the autism spectrum. Many of what I say here also applies to neurotypical children as well. I've learned quite a bit from dealing with behaviorists and therapists with my older child that's really helped me with non-autistic child as well.
1. Identify and figure out the most common things that are triggering your autistic child to have a tantrum. Do they all happen at a certain time of the day? Could they be diet related? Are they all happening at school but not at home? etc. Keep a log or jot down anytime a tantrum occurs so that at the end of the week (or month) you can notice any trend. If they are happening at school you can even send them in a tracking form and ask that your child's paraprofessional help you in tracking this. My son has had an increase in behaviors at school and this is something that I am going to be implementing with his teacher. (Here's an example of a tracking form you can use: http://www.angelfire.com/ky/touristinfo/tracksheet.html)
2. Remain calm and have the patience of a saint.
Don't let your child's tantrum get the best of you. While your child having a bad tantrum in public is frustrating, embarrassing, and inconvenient its also not your fault, nor theirs. Its part of autism. And, it can be dealt with. Since all children are different and respond differently I can't suggest a be all and end all approach. You'll need to use trial and error and know best what works for your child. But, getting all worked up, emotional, angry, and yelling back won't help. We use verbal behavior (ABA) methods with my son to help him work through a behavior.
For example, if he flopped down on the ground instead of pulling him up off of the floor here's what you might see. Me standing next to him (protecting him from being stepped on or what not) saying to him, "Stand Up". If he doesn't stand up, then saying it again, "Stand up, Alex" or "Please Stand Up". Its important to be straightforward. Don't say something like "I need you to stand up now because you are causing a scene and I need to get the shopping done". Thats too much information. Focusing on the task at hand (standing up). I might have to repeat it several times, and or go to a count. Stand up 1, Stand up 2, 3 ,4.. and so on. My son will argue back "No Stand Up!", "No Counting!" and on and so forth. Eventually when he does stand up, then he is praised. My son doesn't like it when we have to count so he will usually stand up or comply. Then, I can work on redirecting him into productive behaviors and away from the tantrum behavior. This is easier said than done, but I've gotten to be pretty good at it.
3. Safety.
It is important when dealing with an autistic child, or any child for that matter to keep them safe during a tantrum. Your child's safety as well as the safety of others around them needs to come first. My son is very strong and at only 50 pounds he is a lot of kid to handle. I'm simply not strong enough to lift him up and carry him out to remove him from an environment if he is tantruming. I will do everything that I can to get him to a safe place where he can't harm himself or others if he is thrashing. As hard as it is, sometimes I do have to resort to physical restraint - which I have been taught "the right way" to do if necessary. I'm thankful that its not something that I frequently need to do. But, if my son enters into a behavior and is not safe, this may be the best option.
As an onlooker, what should you do when you see an autistic child in a behavior or "temper tantrum"?
First of all, you may not even know that the child is autistic. Autism knows no racial or socioeconomic boundaries and doesn't have physical traits that set my child apart from others. If I were to line up 10 children that were all six year old boys, chances are you wouldn't be able to point out which one(s) are on the autism spectrum. Because of this, if my son is acting out in a tantrum people who don't know, will often presume that my child is ill-behaved, lacks discipline, or that I am a bad parent. None of the above.
The best thing you can do is offer compassion and not judge a parent and child when you see something like this happening. The stares, pointing, comments, and complaints don't help appease the situation. They only serve to make the parent and child feel worse. My son is known at school for turning to his teacher before he tantrums and apologizing. "I'm sorry" He announces. During one of these behaviors, he often cries and apologizes while it is happening. It breaks my heart to watch because I know he is struggling and clearly he feels bad about it also. So, please don't make my child feel worse when this is happening. He didn't intentionally set out to ruin your day. Trying to help, may also not be the wisest idea as well intentioned as you may be. If I need help, then I will ask for it. But, the last thing I need is a stranger trying to "help" my son's behavior by offering something like candy or trying to get close to him, talk to him when he is already in a very overstimulated fragile state.
In closing
I hope that this has helped to give you a window into my world and learn a bit more about autism "behaviors" and temper tantrums. I welcome any comments and am also always looking for ways to help minimize and work through behaviors.
More on Epinions about Autism & Tantrums here:
Austin's story:A Child with Autism and his Temper Tantrums
~~ CREATIVE WAYS TO REDUCE SENSORY TANTRUMS IN CHILDREN WITH AUTISM - PART 1 ~~ and ~~ - PART 2 ~~
Temper Tantrums - An "Episode" of Hell
Consistency is Essential
Find the Cause
This review is written in honor of National Autism Awareness month - April 2007. 1 in 150 children are diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. My child is one of them. Please help join me in spreading awareness by writing on Epinions this month. More info can be found here
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