In honor of Autism Month!

Apr 5, 2007

The Bottom Line Love with all your heart and be open to learn from your "special" child(ren), you'll be glad you did!

I am a 48 y/0 single mother of an 18 y/o son who was first diagnosed with ADHD and then Aspergers Syndrome (a form of autism)when he was in Junior High School.

It has been a rough road for him in school with all the bullying he has gone through on account of it. He struggles everyday to be nice to others and to be accepted. He doesn't have the smoothest of social skills as yet, although they have improved a lot this past year.

He tends to have higher expectations with my grandson (his nephew) than my grandson is able to perform at his young age. He is like this in everything in life, as well. Kind of saddens me. He needs to become more understanding and patient.

For instance, when he was out pushing him on his little trike, and he wouldn't listen, he made him stop because there was a vehicle coming and my grandson wasn't paying attention to it. But, his idea is, he has to make him understand, what he lacks in that scenario, is my grandson is still a baby. He is still learning and we have to teach him. We have to continually repeat short sentences to him, so he will eventually pick up the word. We have to teach him safety and we have to be patient with him.

That is hard for my 18 y/o to understand, but like my grandson, I have to repeat to my son over and over the importance and value of it for my grandson.

My grandson is almost two and has been very slow at talking. I fear he will need to be assessed for ADHD as well. Both his parents have it. He's a great little guy, but I see signs of it already.

He loves to play, and snuggle, but doesn't say a sentence of words yet. My son was that way at his age. It scares me to think, my poor grandson will have to go through the same ups/downs when he starts school.

Being PATIENT with these children is an art in itself! Thank goodness for books and support groups to help us with them. Although, I have to say, I haven't really used much of either, because being a single parent, all of my energies have gone into providing for us.

I don't wish any parent to have to raise these children alone. It is a hard road for both the child(ren) and the parent.

My son is seeing a neurologist to rule out any possible pathological reason for him having "black outs" when he gets to a 5/10 anger outburst. That's right, as a result of his ADHD/Aspergers Syndrome, he battles with anger outbursts and social/behavior issues. I so feel for him, more so, since I have been home with him these past few months. Okay, it has slapped me in the face, since I've been off work as a result of the MVA last year.

I want my son to be successful in life. I want him to hold a job, buy a home, eventually marry and I hope he thinks hard about having children. But if he does, I hope he will love them and be extremely patient with them, because he will be passing on these problems to his children.

I am not ADHD or Aspergers Syndrome or autistic. However, his dad could be. His dad was born blue and revived at birth; then while shopping with his mom at a young age, had a shopping cart fall on him (at least that's what he says happened), and although he loves his children (two from his first marriage and our son), he really doesn't know how to relate to them as a father.

Why do I say that? Okay, if he really knew how to be a father to our son, he would make time to spend more time with him and do father-son stuff with him. But, he does try to spend time with him twice a week, so for that we are thankful.

My feeling is open your eyes! Learn from them! Grow with them! Not away from them, because they are different, because they have a "disability" they didn't ask for.

My stepdaughter (my son's half sister) knowing she has ADHD has been getting learning toys to help her son learn. So "5 stars" to her for giving my soon to be 2 y/o grandson the basis for learning his words.

Now, only time will tell when he will start talking more fluently. He says "Ma for my son's name", I am meema, and he says "hi and bye" very fluently. It will so great when he stops talking in a language only he understands.

So, parents...whether your child(ren) have or have not (if not then find a good MD to assist you with this) been diagnosed with them and learn from them and get involved with support groups and learn all you can from the books out there.

I sure have had my eyes opened since I've been reading these reviews. Thanks so much Marytara!

This is in honor of "AUTISM" month. Thank you Marytara.

Thanks for reading.


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