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Heil Mikhail, the One-Eyed Wonder!

Apr 30 '07 (Updated Aug 30 '07)

The Bottom Line Beware the mad Ukrainian...

Re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it suddenly occurred to me who Mikhail, one of my favorite Others, reminds me of: Mad-Eye Moody. They both are gruff, have a distinct accent, are seriously unhinged and have only one normally functioning eye. We know that Moody did a lot of noble work once; we're not so sure about Mikhail, but if he was a medic, at the least he probably patched up quite a few people. I probably shouldn't like Mikhail, but I do. I was very much looking forward to meeting him after he showed up on that television screen, and he was every bit as interesting as I'd hoped. I was most displeased with John for shoving him across that barrier. Did Patchy really deserve that? I don't think so... Anyway, here's my little ode to Mikhail, to the tune of Der Fuehrer's Face.

Mikhail

Who's the surly medic in a secret base?
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Ben is insecure when he goes to his place.
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.

Who makes tea and offers castaways a taste?
Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
John thinks keeping him alive would be a waste.
Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.

Does he have a satellite? Big, impressive satellite?
Yes, he has a satellite. Handy-dandy satellite!
Does he like to shoot a gun? Does he think it's very fun?
Yes, he likes to shoot a gun. Yes, he thinks it's very fun.

He wades through cats and clutter.
I am inclined to mutter,
"Though it may be a disgrace,
I love your one-eyed face,
Misanthropic, hermetic nutter!"

Who's the surly medic in a secret base?
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Ben is insecure when he goes to his place.
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.

LOST Parodies:
Bohemian Rhapsody
I Am a Rock
White Christmas
Christmas Canon Rock
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Christmas in Killarney
Henry the Eighth
Sweet Baby James
The Only Living Boy in New York
Here, There and Everywhere
He Was My Brother
For Baby (For Bobbie)
Sloop John B.
When I'm 64
The Longest Time
Run for the Roses
You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore
Eye of the Tiger
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Leader of the Band
Same Old Lang Syne
Cat's in the Cradle
An Innocent Man
The Boxer
Sparrow
Loves Me Like a Rock
Der Fuehrer's Face
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Candle in the Wind
Scarborough Fair / Canticle
Hey Jude
Tears in Heaven
Bridge Over Troubled Water
House of the Rising Sun
Lover's Cross
Lasso the Moon
Rocket Man
El Condor Pasa
Hair
Why Don't You Write Me?

Poems:
Baby Brother
The Pilot in the Pilot
Vincent
Of Sacrificial Death and Life
John the Baptized
Not Penny's Boat
Finding Vincent
I'm Lost Without...

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bilbopooh

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