Four years ago, my husband and I were married on the beach at Magen's Bay, St. Thomas. Since then, we have made a yearly tradition of returning to the Caribbean region on or near our anniversary. This year, we spent a week in Cancun at the Costa Real Hotel and Suites.

Let me begin by saying that our original plan was not to stay at the Costa Real. The Real group owns two properties in Cancun: The Gran Caribe Real and the Costa Real. They have a third resort about 40 minutes away in Playa del Carmen called the Gran Porto Real. All three are All Inclusive Resorts and a stay at any one of them entitles the traveller to enjoy the facilities at all three. The Gran Caribe and Porto Real are marketed as 5 star resorts, while the Costa Real is marketed as a 4 star location. We had planned on staying at the Gran Caribe. However, we booked our vacation at the last minute and for whatever reason, the night I booked it online, the Gran Caribe no longer appeared as an option. Since the Costa Real was a sister resort and we would still be able to enjoy the amenities at the Gran Caribe, we went with it.

The beautiful thing about the Costa Real is the all-inclusive plan. My husband and I always make an effort to go all-inclusive in the Caribbean. In most cases, all-inclusive means just that - all food, drink, alcohol, water sports (non-motorized), tips and gratuities are included in the price of your room. It's nice to spend a week eating and drinking whatever we please whenever we please without worrying about what we're spending. All of the above-mentioned things were included in our stay at the Costa Real. Additional tours of the Yucatan Peninsula can easily be purchased at the travel desk in the hotel lobby.

The hotel is described on the Real home page thus:

Hotel Costa Real : Popular 4 star hotel on the beach in Cancun, 318 Rooms, Studios and Suites, largest suites in Cancun, fully equipped kitchen with modern appliances, beautiful structure with a mediterranean style and a excellent location on the sheltered side of the caribbean bay overlooking playa linda beach, close to shopping centers, golf, discos, restaurants, and all the good things Cancun has to offer.

It's an attractive, sprawling, Mediterranean-looking structure with a central courtyard, pool, 2 restaurants and a beach. The grounds are well maintained and lushly landscaped and there are about a half dozen beautiful peacocks strolling around the main courtyard.

Check In

We arrived at the Costa Real at noon on a Thursday. Official check-in time is 3 o'clock, but they gave us no trouble about checking in immediately. The check-in process was quite simple. We showed them our travel receipt and they assigned us a room - no fuss, no complications. At check-in, they put a color-coded wrist band on you, which you must wear for the duration of your stay. Some patrons choose not to go with the all-inclusive plan, so different colors indicate to the staff what level plan you are on. The yellow all-inclusive band entitles you to carte blanche throughout the resort. After checking us in, the front desk attendant turned us over to the porter (as near as we could tell, the Costa Real has only one porter!) who guided us to our room and delivered our luggage shortly thereafter.

The Room

We had booked a standard room, but at check-in, they determined that they had a Studio available and upgraded us to that room at no extra charge, which we both appreciated. A studio room is a sort of mini-suite. It had it's own private balcony, 2 double beds, an enormous bathroom and a small kitchenette, complete with oven, stove-top, refrigerator, sink, and a cupboard full of cups, dishes and silverware. Our room was decorated in a decent palette of blues, violets and teal. As is the case throughout the Caribbean, the flooring was all tile. Each room is equipped with a safe, which they give you a lock for at check-in. We immediately discovered that our lock was broken, so we were unable to lock up our valuables. When we unpacked, we discovered that the dresser in our room was a bit of a comedy show. It was on wheels, so whenever we pulled on a drawer, the whole dresser would come rolling at us. We had to brace it with our feet, then pull to open the drawers. The doors on the front were lopsided and one was coming off it's hinges. Once opened, the doors were a small challenge to close again. Our studio had 2 double beds. The mattresses on both were rock-hard. I enjoy a firm mattress, so probably wasn't as bothered as some people may have been, but these really were extraordinarily hard.

The kitchenette had an ancient set of appliances, which we never even turned on, and a small table with two chairs. The refrigerator clanked and clunked incessantly and we ended up unplugging it for the duration of our stay in the name of getting some sleep! The air conditioning periodically made a distracting humming sound, but overall was reasonably quiet. In an apparent effort to conserve energy, the rooms are set up so that the only way to turn on the electricity in them is to insert your door keycard into a slot just inside the door. Once you've done that, you can turn on the AC, lights, appliances and so forth. This was the first place we had ever seen such a set-up.

The balcony was lovely and spacious with a large table and two wrought iron chairs. We probably would have enjoyed our balcony even more than we did, had the chairs had been a little more comfortable. The balcony afforded an nice view of the courtyard in the middle of the hotel, the pool, the beach and the Caribbean Sea beyond. It was an excellent place to sit and read and sip drinks in the evenings.

The largest shortcoming of our room became immediately obvious the first night. There is absolutely no sound-proofing at all. We were able to hear the comings and goings and conversations of our neighbors as if they were standing in our room with us. Every word spoken in every room around us came through crystal-clear. This was all the more aggravating due to the people who surrounded us. On one side, we had "Larry and Dee" - a Texan couple whose names we knew from having heard them screaming at one another in a drunken fight that lasted from 11 p.m. until Larry finally passed out at 4 a.m. on our second night there. The first and third nights, we were kept up all night by "the Guatemalan Screamers" - a group of young girls who could not utter a single sentence without punctuating it with squeaks, screams and squeals. They tended to arrive back at their room between 3 and 4 a.m. each night and shriek at one another for another hour or two before finally falling asleep. By the fourth day, the only sleep either of us had gotten was the naps we took on the beach each day. I was growing hysterical at the thought that I may never sleep for the entire duration of our trip. We were finally saved when Larry and Dee apparently quit speaking to each other and the Guatemalan screamers checked out.

Amenities

The Costa Real's pool is beautiful. It is large and sprawling with a separate children's pool area. There is no "deep end" - it is uniformly about 4 or 5 feet deep, but is large enough that you can take a mid-day dip with your fellow guests and never feel crowded.

The beach is another story. It is a positively miniscule man-made beach with a slab of concrete under the imported white sand. By about 10 a.m. each day it is covered end-to-end with lounge chairs. To their credit, the hotel works hard to maintain their fake beach. They have an employee whose sole purpose appeared to be shoveling and sifting the sand to keep it clean and "fluffy." It was raked and smoothed over early each morning. A lounge chair attendant sets up your chair for you and wandering waitresses patrol the beach all day bringing you drinks so that you never have to fetch your own. As long as you don't mind having hoards of strangers packed in tightly around you, it's actually a nice place to spend the day. We spent entire days lounging out there, soaking up the Caribbean sun, and sipping the margaritas dutifully delivered by BeBe, our waitress. At about 2 p.m. every day, the activities staff arrives on the beach, sets up a microphone and bellows at the crowds while blaring loud music in an effort to get people involved in activities such as Beach Bingo and volleyball games. Because the beach is so small, there is nowhere to escape. Peace and quiet is not an option.

Sadly, if you enjoy swimming in the Caribbean Sea, you're also out of luck at the Costa Real. Their stretch of "beach" is located along a main canal that the power boats in the area all use, so they've roped off a teeny tiny little area of sea water and that is the only place you are allowed to swim. It was about 20 yards by 75 yards in size and about waist deep on me. One of the greatest pleasures I look forward to on our Caribbean getaways is swimming, snorkeling and just generally splashing around in that crystal clear Caribbean water. Being denied that pleasure was enough to make me want to demand a refund.

Since snorkeling is a laughable option there, the only real non-motorized water sport to be taken advantage of at the Costa Real is kayaking. We went out kayaking one afternoon (you're allowed outside of the ropes with a kayak - YIPPEE!) and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The water around the hotel is very shallow, so we could easily view starfish and other waterlife from our little boat.

Dining

The Costa Real has 2 restaurants. One is a buffet restaurant and one is an ala carte sit-down restaurant. We tried both, but did most of our dining at the ala carte establishment. The staff at each was friendly and spoke excellent English, which we appreciated since our Spanish is somewhat limited. Obviously, their Mexican food was the best. Even if you are not a fan, if you ever find yourself at the Costa Real, you simply must have the guacamole. I've never liked guacamole until I ate theirs. It's fresh and light and flavorful - a perfect lunch on a hot day at the beach. The tortilla soup is also fantastic. They have an extensive list of Italian foods on the menu.... order at your own risk. The couple of Italian menu items we tried were not even palatable. While the buffet has a different dinner theme each night, we were disappointed to find that the ala carte restaurant's menu never changed. In fact, it was the same for both lunch and dinner every single day. (A note on coffee: If you are a coffee lover, get over it. While they serve what they call American Coffee, it is a strange, fizzy brown beverage that tastes nothing like coffee and leaves a nasty grayish brown scum in the cup. The British patrons we met informed me that the tea situation was much the same.)

The resort also has a gift shop, a gym and a beauty salon. There is a travel desk in the hotel lobby where excursions into the Yucatan Peninsula and other day trips can be booked. If you like to snorkel, you'll have to book a special excursion here. We took advantage of that service to book a trip out to the Mayan Ruins at Chitchen-Itza, but that is another review.

Activities

At any given time, there is a beach volleyball or soccer game going on. Water aerobics are held in the pool every afternoon. Each night, transportation is supplied to a different Cancun nightclub. As a part of your all-inclusive plan, you pay no cover charge at two of Cancun's best hot spots - Carlos & Charlie's and Senor Frog's. There are two bars at the Costa Real. One is located in the hotel lobby and has a small sitting area. The other is on the beach, complete with four television screens airing sporting events and with a few bar stools around it.

Final Thoughts and Impressions

Needless to say, we will not be returning to the Costa Real. Our vacation was still an enjoyable one. We got lots of sun, went kayaking and enjoyed our excursions out into Cancun and surrounding areas. The Gran Caribe, which we had hoped to enjoy as well, was about a 25 minute walk away, so not as convenient as we had hoped. We made it over there only once. Structurally, the Costa Real is beautiful - one of the prettiest we have been to. By their own admission (after we got there) they pander mostly to college students and spring breakers looking to take advantage of unlimited alcohol. One rowdy drunken kid on the beach made a very public request for cocaine. We were surprised later to see the pool attendants satisfying that request for him. The British group we met had been there for two weeks and told us that there had been a drug raid there on their first night. Delightful. This was certainly not the island paradise that my husband and I are accustomed to. If you want to visit Cancun, by all means do - it's a beautiful area, safe for tourists and well maintained by the Mexican government. But stay somewhere else!




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