Bare buns in the sun
Written: Dec 22 '01 (Updated Jun 17 '06)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Wild party atmosphere, food, facilities, crazy x-rated activities, nude pool--beach--bar
Cons: Location, overly-aggressive couples, beach, having to go home
The Bottom Line: For a non-stop party, go to this resort. Leave your inhibitions and watch at home!
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| weckbabe's Full Review: Hedonism Iii |
I have been to Hedonism 3 twice with my husband. It is located on the North coast of Jamaica near Falmouth and Braco, about an hour and a half from the airport by van.
Getting there: Bring lots of $1 bills for tips. Arriving at Montego Bay, there are plenty of porters to help with bags (always numerous and heavy, in my case!) and take you to the proper tour desk for your hotel. After a few minutes, our group has gathered and we are loaded onto a nice van with large windows. Again, bags loaded for us, more tips given. Bus drivers have been great colorful characters. On the way, they will make a pit stop with whichever little bar has an 'arrangement' with the driver for red stripes and a leg stretch. Note, this van ride is not for the faint of heart, as the roads in Jamaica are rustic and there are numerous goats along the way. The bus driver unloads bags, more tips given, and we're there!
Arrival: at Hedo 3, there are glasses of champagne and cookies set out to welcome guests. Check-in has always gone smoothly for us. The lobby is open air, so it is a good idea to change into cooler clothes either on the plane or at the airport so you will be comfortable. The porter quickly shows us to our room. Hedo 3 is all-inclusive, so tipping is no longer required, but we found it beneficial to tip our porter at the hotel. He kept an eye out for us the rest of the trip and remembered our names. He also ensured that we kept our spots on the departure van when it was overly full and some others had to get off and possibly miss their return flight!. The location of Hedo 3 is somewhat isolated, and the island of Jamaica has its share of crime and poverty. Staying on the resort is really the only option other than organized tours. Since this is the case, a stay of a week was a bit long. I recommend a stay of 3-4 days and just stay on the resort.
About the rooms: the rooms are set in blocks of 4-story white stucco with brightly colored trim. The buildings are surrounded by lush vegetation and flowers. There are some different room types to choose from. The resort is divided into "nude" and "prude" sides along with choices for ocean-view, pool-view, and garden-view. There are some larger suites available as well, but all the rooms have jacuzzi tubs. They say the tubs are for two, but we found them to be a bit snug for a couple. The rooms are decorated in bright tropical colors and have tile floors. There are mirrors over the bed and tub. All the rooms can be converted to be either two twin beds or one king bed. There is TV and phone in rooms. Beautiful large windows in bedroom/sitting are and in bathroom open out to let in the fresh air. There are curtains in the bedroom and a shade in the shower for more privacy, if desired. The A/C has a remote control, so you can adjust the temperature without getting up. The advantage to staying on the "prude" side is its proximity to dining, disco, water sports, work-out facilities, water-slide, piano bar, and gaming area (pool tables & ping pong). The advantages to the "nude" side are that one does not need to don any apparel to venture to the nude pool and beach area. Avoid rooms that are near basketball courts and disco if noise is a concern. I prefer to just hear the tree frogs at night.
Dining: there are 5 main areas for eating. The main dining hall is buffet style with drink service and offers a varying theme menu throughout the week. The main dining area serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but breakfast and lunch were the better meals there. The Scotch Bonnet beachfront grill serves Jamaican staples such as jerk chicken along with burgers and other fare. This area is a great place to dine to see the sunset and is extremely casual and laid back. The Italian Restaurant has a la carte dining with a rotating specialty menu. They have a conch dish to die for, great service, Chianti wine, reservations and nicer dress required. The Japanese Restaurant seated tables in groups of 8 around the grill. Food was prepared in front of the guests by entertaining chefs. There is a set menu with choice of beef/chicken/shrimp or combinations. Reservations and nicer dress required. Note: make reservations early or be flexible enough to eat at late hours. The last dining option is the Nude pool Bar. They serve lunch, snacks, and early dinner. Um, dress is casual ;) and the "dirty banana" is the recommended drink.
Once a week, they have a beach bbq with lobster, music, and tables set right on the sand.
Beach: there are two beach areas, "nude" and "prude." Both are small and man-made since the North shores of Jamaica are mostly rocky cliffs. While the beaches are sufficient for sunning and swimming, they are not the highlight of the resort. This is a resort where you come for the party atmosphere and the anything goes "nobody knows you here" hedo attitude, not the beach.
Pool areas: there are three pool areas. The main pool is the largest and is on the "prude" side. It has volleyball net and a constant game going. There is a pool table IN the pool. The water slide goes into this pool. The quad pool is also in the "prude" side, but is rumored to be clothing optional. It is surrounded on four sides by blocks of rooms and is fairly deserted at night (wink-wink). It has a swim-up bar and a two story sunning deck. There is also a nude pool area...
The nude area: for those new to the nude experience, it is truly unique and a great way to lose inhibitions. Not all the couples who go there are lifestylers, but some are. Be assertive, and no problem, mon! By the time you leave, putting clothing ON will feel unnatural. All ages and body types can be seen. We saw a lady on one of our trips who had a double mastectomy. It is all in the attitude. A piece of advice if you are nervous about "going all the way" is to walk over to one of the small gazebos to drop your drawers. Then bravely don a towel and when you get to your desired seat, drop it! The nude pool area also has a swim-up bar and a jacuzzi. Most opportunities for x-rated activities occur at this pool/jacuzzi area. Most of the experienced hedo ladies only go into the jacuzzi knee deep to avoid, ahem, possible discomfort. The nude area also has a cave/grotto area for a little privacy and a steam room for more privacy :):) Photography is not allowed, so you don't have to worry about ending up on the internet. Towels are on-hand at all pool areas. Security guards are also all around the resort if there should be any problem, but we never had one.
Water sports: although we did not participate in these, there is diving, kyaking, wind-surfing and snorkeling. The resort has its own dive boat/catamaran which is quite nice.
In addition to water sports, there is circus school for learning the flying trapeeze and trampoline.
Theme nights: this resort has fun once the sun sets. There is plenty of partying to do in the disco, and karaoke in the piano bar. I will never forget the rendition of "Funky Cold Medina" my husband and his new buddies did in the piano bar. The theme nights usually take place during and after dinner. The main nights are toga and bare as u dare. They close the bars at 5 a.m. if that gives you an idea...
Spa: we have had massages both times we have gone to the resort, and it has been great each time. Though a little pricey, it is the perfect way to de-stress after a bumpy flight or van ride. The massages are given in outdoor tents with the music playing and the breeze blowing.
Service: overall, the service was good, especially in the two nicer restaurants. There is a different mind-set about time in Jamaica, so don't bring your watch. Be respectful to the staff and they will reciprocate. They have a saying "soon come," that could mean soon, sometime, or never. Never will be much more likely if you give them a hard time!
Leaving: the staff will tell you "see you next week." That is how you'll feel because the Jamaican experience is like no other and we have come to feel the island is like a second home.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
weckbabe
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Reviews written: 3
Trusted by: 1 member
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