Sawyer Can't Bear Another Encounter With That Bear

Aug 13 '07 (Updated Feb 28 '10)    Write an essay on this topic.


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The Bottom Line Beware the bear!

How many times have we seen a polar bear on LOST now? And how many polar bears has it actually been? Two? Three? One bear possessing eerie Mikhail-like indestructibility? That's the theory I have Sawyer posit in this silly parody of the Cowsills' Hair.

Bear!

Sawyer: You asked me why.
Why? I don't wanna die.
That bear was in my sighty-sight sight.
He gave me a fright.
That bear has died, you know.
The tough task was mine;
I made him go!
He won't come back. He's dead.
Guess we'll be well fed!
Darlin'...

Look! I just shot a bear.
Big, burly white bear.
Growlin', scowlin',
Furry, in a hurry.

Would have said, "Beware!" (Bear!)
If he'd been there longer. (Bear!)
Still, I have stopped trauma;
Why treat me like a baddie?

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That bear.

Walt: I made a dash for the trees.
I am begging you, please
Be speedy in seizing that bear.
I'd get on my knees
And pray, but I'd better freeze
And skimp on words
And hope the birds
Make a clatter
That will shatter
The attention of that...

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Stab 'im, jab 'im,
Just keep him from grabbin'!
That bear...

Sawyer: I want him long gone, not returning,
Musty, dusty, beaten, eaten.
Hope that he's forever severed.
Now his cage is sparking rages.
Think I'd better risk it,
Fishin' for his biscuit
Though he's bigger than a yeti
And his jaws and claws are like machetes.

Eko: Oh, say can you see his eyes?
If you can, then your life is short.

Sawyer: He's still here.
Don't know where.
Darn that bear! Darn that bear! I stopped him myself!
How can his paws keep runnin' when I stopped him myself?

Oh, why is a polar bear,
Non-tropical bear,
Even grievin' us? He should be leavin'.

How does a regular fella dare (Bear!)
Face a beast that's stronger? (Bear!)
That may be more drama
Than I would deal with gladly.
(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)


LOST Parodies:
Bohemian Rhapsody * I Am a Rock * White Christmas * Christmas Canon Rock * We Wish You a Merry Christmas * Christmas in Killarney * Henry the Eighth * Sweet Baby James * The Only Living Boy in New York * Here, There and Everywhere * He Was My Brother * For Baby (For Bobbie) * Sloop John B. * When I'm 64 * The Longest Time * Run for the Roses * You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore * Eye of the Tiger * Girls Just Wanna Have Fun * Leader of the Band * Same Old Lang Syne * Cat's in the Cradle * An Innocent Man * The Boxer * Sparrow * Loves Me Like a Rock * Der Fuehrer's Face * Goodbye Yellow Brick Road * Candle in the Wind * Scarborough Fair / Canticle * Hey Jude * Tears in Heaven * Bridge Over Troubled Water * House of the Rising Sun * Lover's Cross * Lasso the Moon * Rocket Man * El Condor Pasa * Hair * Why Don't You Write Me? * The Greening of Belfast * She Wore a Yellow Ribbon * Sons and Daughters * I'll Follow the Sun * What the World Needs Now Is Love * Danny Boy * Yesterday's Men * I Want to Live * Mountains of Mourne * That's a Woman * DesperadoDance Little Jean * The Tinker * Brothers in Arms * Vanishing Breed * Time in a Bottle * Ordinary Man * Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall * The Black Velvet Band * Penny Lane * Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da * Take Me Home * Goodbye Mrs. DurkinIreland's Call * Steal Away * Ride On * Hey There, Delilah * Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious * Under the Sea * Greenland Whale Fisheries * The Island * Bleecker Street * I Will * Hit the Road, Jack * Sing Australia * The Wind That Shakes the Corn * The Hidden Hatch * Poems, Prayers and Promises * My Old Man's a Dustman * Coulter's Candy * Candida * Knock Three Times * I Don't Mind If I Do * We Kill the World (Don't Kill the World) * All This Joy * Overs * Brown Girl in the Ring * Fly Away * I'm Sorry * Hallelujah * The Orange and the Green * Heaven on Their Minds * Burning Bridges * While My Guitar Gently Weeps * Michael Row the Boat Ashore * Cracklin' Rosie * Annie's Song * Candle on the Water * Shilo * Gaston

Poems:
Baby Brother * The Pilot in the Pilot * Vincent * Of Sacrificial Death and Life * John the Baptized * Not Penny's Boat * Finding Vincent * I'm Lost Without... * Apollo * A Hurley Christmas * The Once and Future Ben

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