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"Where's That Shmoo Fella Been All Summer Any How?"Aug 23 '07 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line ahh... nothin' better than a busy summer
Where to begin? First of all I’d like to say it’s heartwarming to know that a few folks have missed the melodious tone of my voice…. I mean writing...the melodious tone of my writing... err, feel... the melodious feel of my writing... wait, that’s not right. The down-home, campfire, feel to my writing? I give up on that... How about I just continue? Here’s an update, as brief as I can make it. 1) I had a birthday... yes I did. I’m now officially 40. While the number sucks, I feel pretty good. My wife threw a nice Hey, You’re an Old Bastard bash for me and my friend, The King Of All Fish sent me a lovely little package all the way from Massachusetts. I have gained a great appreciation and respect for the world of Route 66 thanks to him. 2) I’ve easily gained 20 pounds. I blame the trailer. A case of beer every weekend and nothing but barbecued red meat will do that to you. I have been conducting an experiment to see how many steaks a single person can eat before they fall in to a meat induced coma. So far the number has reached three hundred and seventy two and is still rising. I can hardly wait for winter so I can lose all my summer fat. 3) We changed sites at the happy weekend trailer park. The corner lot next door to us became available. While ours has been fun there is very little privacy. No trees, it’s kind of small, it faces the road and my next-door neighbor built an out door bar 8 feet from my bedroom window. Now I like the bar. I’ve spent more than a few nights at the bar, but having an out door bar 8 feet from your bedroom window isn’t much fun if you aren’t at it. And no… I’m not exaggerating... it’s not just a collection of chairs... it’s an actual out door bar with walls and a roof, and a bar and bar stools and a blender and ice chests and everything. We have some great pictures and it’s a ton of fun. Unless it’s 2:30 in the morning, and you are trying to sleep, and the bar is in full swing, and all the chicks are having gooey blender drinks, and all the neighbors are hammered, and the baby is cranky. Then... not so much. So all the work that we did in 3 months had to be broken down in one week so that the trailer could be moved 100 feet to the corner site which sits on top of a bluff, surrounded by trees and is completely private. We had to unblock it, move the shed contents, sell the shed that I just bought, move the woodpile and all the stones, re-block it, do some land-scaping and do some light-scaping. It was worth it. Now, I can be at the bar if I want and retreat in to calm serenity when I choose. 4) We had to replace the fridge. That sort of sucked. The gas line had to be capped and the cavity for the fridge enlarged but my beer has never tasted colder. 5) My father in law ripped his taint. While this wasn’t funny to him…. man it sure cracked me up. I love the dude, but seriously... Guys... prepare to wince. He stepped off an un-moored speedboat on to a slightly wet dock. The boat shifted, his foot slipped and he went in to a full set of splits before he cupped his goolies (e-pinions won’t let me say balls, nuts or testes) and rolled off the dock, in to the lake. He had to be fished out. There are pictures and I’ve posted the story on “Face Book”, because that’s just the kind of son in law I am. The doctors said he tore a hamstring but I like to say he ripped his taint… often... to anyone who will listen. The good news is that he’s letting me use his golf membership so I get a free 18 holes every weekend. Sort of a win/ win for me. I get to laugh at his pain and he pays for my golf. 6) I knocked up the wife again. I’m happy to be able to check this one off the list if not just a little surprised. Mrs. Shmoo is about three weeks from going back to work after Maternity leave. For our American friends who are not aware, Mat leave in Canada is one year. It appears that she will be going back to work about 2 months along. I made her (listen to my mouth.. I don’t make her do anything) take three separate pregnancy tests just to be sure. We are keeping this as quiet as possible because she is up for a promotion at work upon her return. While companies aren’t allowed to discriminate... who are we kidding... they do. For those few of you who will read this and who write my wife from time to time... try to refrain broadcasting it too much. I guess it’s a win/win/win for me. I get to laugh at my father in law’s pain, he pays for my golf and I impregnated his daughter. Yea for me! We’re planning our daughter’s first birthday this weekend. It’s gonna be off the hook. I’ve been preparing food all week and we expect about 50 people to show up. Yes, it’s a rich and full life. I’d like to say I should be back up and running soon. We close our place down at the end of October and after that I will have free time again. Until then, know that I miss you all and that I have 2 book reviews and a movie review started in my files. I just need to find the time. Peace out from that Shmoo dude and I hope you’re having a great summer. If you make the trip up, I’ll buy you a beer to celebrate the impending arrival of Shmoo The Third  |
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