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Member Advice Summary
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Disorder
by ddustyrose | Sep 27 '07
Samuel Butler said, "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."Return to opinion
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Date Written |
Wow... (Reply to this comment)
by Jev04again
How often have we all felt this kind of betrayal??? Lots of times, let me tell you.
Well said, in a lovely way. Thank you for sharing! :-)
Warmly -
- Sunni
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Sep 28 '07
6:50 am PDT
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Dusty, (Reply to this comment)
by shmoo1
you said this very very well.
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Sep 28 '07
9:26 am PDT
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Re: Wow... (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Hi Sunni,
Thank you for the kind words, and yes, betrayal of any kind hurts.
I really wish the world was a kinder place.
Hugs,
Dusty
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Sep 28 '07
11:49 am PDT
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Re: Dusty, (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Thank you Shmoo! I thought I did too. :)
Dusty
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Sep 28 '07
11:50 am PDT
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What is interesting to me... (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
...is how many different ways this poem may be interpreted. That's what interests me the most.
Nice job! :)
MZ
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Sep 28 '07
7:53 pm PDT
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Re: Yes, betrayal does suck. (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Pinn,
I just received email from you and it would seem you think this poem, Disorder, was meant for you.
I don't know WHY you think I would write anything about you and your feud(s). You and MZ made an apology to me and that apology was accepted.
Now, you may not believe this, but I do have a life outside of Epinions and while it was NOT my intention to make this public knowledge, to satisfy you and keep you from making a wrongful conclusion, I'm going to clarify something.
Read my lips...er...my words....this was not, I repeat, NOT written about you or anyone at Epinions.
I am married to a not so very nice man and am seeing a lawyer on the 15th of October to file for a divorce. If you've read any of my past reviews, you will have read a little about my marriage. This poem was written about him Pinn...it had nothing to do with you.
Pinn, I don't think I deserved the letter you wrote me. I've stayed out of the comment sections where words were hurled back and forth and yet, Pinn, I seem to be in your way. Why, Pinn? Why?
To the best of my knowledge, I've not done anything to you, or anyone else, to be the recipient of words meant to wound...or I am just extra sensitive at this time? No, I don't think it's that.....
I'll admit this is not a good time for me and I don't need, or want, to be in the middle of the road where cannons are fired.
I'm asking you in the nicest way I know how to let me get through this horrible patch in my life without unnecessary scratches from your keyboard.
I'm removing myself from one abusive situation and I'm asking you not to put me in another.
I deserve better!
Dusty
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Sep 28 '07
9:02 pm PDT
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Re: What is interesting to me... (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
MZ,
When written, it was meant in only one way but it seems to be taken in another....read my comment to Pinn...your answer lies there.
Thanks! :)
Dusty
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Sep 28 '07
9:07 pm PDT
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Beautiful poetry (Reply to this comment)
by lammet
is inspired by strong feelings. Although pain is not a beautiful feeling, this poem shows that you feel it strongly.
Cheer up Dusty, there are better people in the world than the one who inspired you to write this. Many can inspire you to tell a verse out of untold joy.
-Vasilis
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Sep 29 '07
9:32 am PDT
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Oh my. (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
You know I always love your writing and I am so sorry that you're in such a painful place right now. I hope you don't let anything here stop you from sharing your feelings through this hard time - you deserve all the support you will certainly get from me and many, many others.
Keep on writing, sometimes it helps with the hurt. You're in my thoughts.
Sue
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Sep 29 '07
10:14 am PDT
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Sorry, Dusty (Reply to this comment)
by dianapinions
Hang in there as you enter this dark tunnel.
Wishing a SHLEPS-sister more tranquil times in the future.
Diana
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Sep 29 '07
10:26 am PDT
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We're with you, Dusty! (Reply to this comment)
by smorg
Hiya Dusty,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're facing trolls on many fronts! I hope you are finding some respite this weekend and know that there are many friends here who care, matie (I see many fine Epinionators have showed up already :o) ). Our thoughts are with you!
Cheers,
Smorgy
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Sep 29 '07
12:33 pm PDT
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In case others wonder why the comments don't seem to add up (Reply to this comment)
by smorg
It's because it is WilliamPinn's standard trolling procedure to leave snide and fight-provoking comments to induce a defensive response out of his victims before going back to erase his own inflammatory posts.... clearly to make the victims seem like the aggressors to onlookers.
Though those who have had to deal with such a spineless troll before know what to expect, many of us haven't encountered that before. So if you see such posts by a troll of that nature on a comment session. Take a screen shot of it... How else can other innocent bystanders who didn't get there until later realize what smear campaign is being used against our good and upstanding members?
Below are what Pinn posted to induce a response from Dusty, but erased in order to make her look like the one who made assumptions rashly.
O, one other thing. How galling it is for a troll to expect others to grant them the privilege of 'privacy' when he harasses them via emails? The emails you received are your property, not that of the sender. If you are harassed by a cowardly sniper in private, shine light on it. Warn others of what a menace to the community these abusers are.
Smorg
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Yes, betrayal does suck. (Reply to this comment)
by williampinn
Someone defames you, spreads lies and rumors about you, and the people you thought were your friends bury their heads in the sand, rather than tell this person that defaming people is wrong.
Then to make matters worse, they blame you and make you the villain, the scapegoat, when all you did was defend your honor. They side with the person who defamed you. Yet, if that person defamed them, they would blow a gasket! They would defend their honor without giving it a second thought.
They would expect you to be a friend and back them up. They would expect you to speak up and tell this person to cool the bratty behavior. And, you would do it, because you have honor, integrity and the truth matters to you--and more importantly, you are a true friend with courage.
But when it's your turn, when the bell tolls for thee, they betray you! They let the abusive person abuse you. Why, because said person smiled at them and stroked their vanity. Now they are blind. Only a hollow wind remains to return the abuse or grace that comes your way.
If they were true friends with the one who abuses you, they would tell him the truth so he can grow and mature, but they are not his friend either. They are posers, impostors and/or cowards.
They are betrayers.
Sep 28 '07
12:42 pm PDT
-------------And-------------------
Re: Re: Yes, betrayal does suck. (Reply to this comment)
by williampinn
You made your reply to my email public? Why would you do that? I tried to keep this matter private for your protection and mine.
I apologized to you and tried to respect your privacy. Let's not make the matter public. We both deserve better than that, don't we?
Sep 28 '07
9:54 pm PDT
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Sep 29 '07
12:50 pm PDT
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I would just like to mention... (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
...that I was personally told by a higher-up here at Epinions, whom shall remain nameless, specifically to take any issues that I may have with someone on the site to email.
It is outrageous, in my opinion, to publish private info, as such, in a public forum, regardless of whatever reason that you may feel it is justifiable. Rest assured - it is not!
That is all I have to say on this matter.
MZ
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Sep 29 '07
2:48 pm PDT
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Re: Oh my. (Reply to this comment)
by Don_Krider
Millinocket wrote: "I hope you don't let anything here stop you from sharing your feelings through this hard time - you deserve all the support you will certainly get from me and many, many others."
I'd like to add a ditto on Sue's comments, Dusty. You've always been one of the good people on Epinions and I wish you the best at this difficult time for you.
Don :)
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Sep 29 '07
3:10 pm PDT
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Wow.. (Reply to this comment)
by lyoness913
What a powerful piece of poetry. I am glad that a friend emailed me and pointed me to it.
I know what it's like to have a husband who has lost a sensitivity chip and to be hurt so much that suddenly, the hurt almost goes away because of numbness. I know what it's like to be scared and worried and 'by yourself' and I know what it's like to feel the pain of divorce and the loneliness and the anger that goes along with it.
I am so sorry that you're hurting. ((Hugs))
Summer
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Sep 29 '07
4:19 pm PDT
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Re: Beautiful poetry (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Vasilis,
I believe there are better people in the world...in fact, I know there are. It took many years to realize I could surround myself with these people.
Remove the negative and concentrate on the positive. It makes for a lighter heart, and a happier heart with lots of sweet smiles to keep the cup full.
Have a great weekend and thanks for caring!
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
7:34 pm PDT
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Re: Oh my. (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Sue,
you deserve all the support you will certainly get from me and many, many others.
Thank you! My mail box was full of support and frankly, it was all rather overwhelming! I hadn't realized I had as many friends in the Epinions circle as I did.
It's going to be hard to properly thank everyone for all their care and kindness (and advice).
I feel very blessed!
Have a great weekend....I've had a wonderful Saturday celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday. :)
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
7:46 pm PDT
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Re: Sorry, Dusty (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Hi SHLEPsister!
I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm looking forward to standing in that light...basking in it and feeling warm again.
Have a great weekend Di!
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
7:51 pm PDT
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Re: We're with you, Dusty! (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Hi Smorgy!
I'm having a great weekend...my daughter and I had lots of laughs, shopped, and even stepped into forbidden territory as we celebrated her birthday.
I spent ages hand quilting a "throw" for her...cats on one side and dogs on the other (she loves animals). Hmmm, the "throw" actually turned into more of a twin size quilt...she loved it and all the work was well worth it.
When she flashes her dazzling smile, it can bowl you over.
I do hope you're having a great weekend!
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
8:01 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Oh my. (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
And, you've always shown me what a true gentleman is Don. It's something I'll never forget!
Thank you.
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
8:06 pm PDT
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Re: Wow.. (Reply to this comment)
by ddustyrose
Hi Summer,
I think my little piece of poetry made the headlines. :)
I know what it's like to have a husband who has lost a sensitivity chip and to be hurt so much that suddenly, the hurt almost goes away because of numbness. I know what it's like to be scared and worried and 'by yourself' and I know what it's like to feel the pain of divorce and the loneliness and the anger that goes along with it.
I am scared, worried and, at times, sick over it. This wasn't something I wanted to go through...not at this time of my life but there's no other option. There really isn't.
Over thirty years of trying have come to an end, or will come to an end and while I'm looking forward to 'peace and quiet along with a lot of other things,' why do I suffer pangs of failure? Wasn't 30 years of trying long enough?
It's just so weird.
I have a nosey question (email me if you like)...how are you doing now? How did you move forward and start over? Ooops, I guess that was two questions. :)
Thanks for the hugs...I hadn't realized I needed as many as I received.
Hugs to you,
Dusty
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Sep 29 '07
8:26 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Wow.. (Reply to this comment)
by lyoness913
Hey Dusty!
I was going to email you anyway, I have a little bit to share with you.
I know it doesn't help for me to say 'It will be ok,' because quite frankly, it won't for awhile. BUT, you're not alone. I can offer you emails or phone calls until you feel better.
And, your poetry is simply compassionate and awe inspiring.
:)
Summer
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Oct 01 '07
12:05 am PDT
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Re: Re: In case others wonder why the comments don't seem to add up (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
Wow! Nicely said, {{{WP}}}! :)
MZ
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Oct 01 '07
1:12 pm PDT
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I fully support you, William... (Reply to this comment)
by davidp24
...as you have supported me when I was bombarded with "trolling" comments from DF. Hopefully, it will all work out. I now sometimes comment on DF's reviews and we are on pretty good terms. I don't read much of his work, just occasionally. Looking back, I may have been the instigator in the bad vibe with DF, but he carried his vengence to a very high level, one I never expected. But I appreciated you supporting me then, and I support you now as well. Hopefully this whole issue will "blow over" for you, and you and "unnamed" will become friends again.
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Oct 01 '07
1:26 pm PDT
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Re: Re: In case others wonder why the comments don't seem to add up (Reply to this comment)
by dimeuhday
Very nicely said. I hope this brings peace to the table. I really do.
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Oct 01 '07
1:26 pm PDT
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Re: Thanks my true friends. (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
Same here, WP. I forgive my enemies. I'm not apologizing, mind you. I just forgive them. I will always have your back, WP. I will always have the backs of all of my true friends. It is so obvious to me who they are. It just pains me so much to think that you are made the scapegoat in all of this.
Thanks for all of your encouragment and support, to all my true friends! You know who you are!
Sincerely yours,
MZ
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Oct 01 '07
2:14 pm PDT
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davidp24 and dimeuhday (Reply to this comment)
by lammet
I am aghast that you saw fit to express your support to a friend at the very same place where he exhibited blatant indifference toward a member's time of testing. Your show of "support" only adds to the aggravation your friend already created for Dusty. You people descending here to have fun is beyond irresponsible. It is shockingly cruel. Please remove me from your WoT.
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Oct 01 '07
6:49 pm PDT
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Re: davidp24 and dimeuhday (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
Is it as cruel as stalking my friend and I and posting screen shots of deleted comments and encouraging people to post private emails in a public forum - THIS very forum, in fact?
MZ
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Oct 01 '07
8:15 pm PDT
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Re: davidp24 and dimeuhday (Reply to this comment)
by milena_zepeda
Oh - and let's not forget the name calling.
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Oct 01 '07
8:17 pm PDT
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Re: Re: In case others wonder why the comments don't seem to add up (Reply to this comment)
by smorg
WilliamPinn: "Gee, that's funny; I thought I deleted the comment because Dusty seemed to be upset by it. If she feels that her response to my comment makes her look like an "aggressor," she could delete her response comment. However, I'm sure anyone with a little common sense will realize that her comment was a response rather than jump to the conclusion that she drew first blood (quote from Rambo). As a courtesy to Dusty's thread, I moved said comment to WC so she would not have to view it here. Here is the link to the WC piece containing the comment in question:"
The first thing to do when you find yourself in a hole, Pinn, stop digging. Anyone with eyes and a brain can see that you posted your first two comments and that essay on the 28th. You delete your inflammatory comments after Dusty had made her reply, then on the 29th at 1:21AM you posted your condescending comment, repeatedly accusing Dusty of being the party who made rash assumptions while you didn't... I didn't post my response until later that day. So much for the bogus claim of having 'moved' the first comment elsewhere in consideration for her feelings...
And what did you do then, but went running to cry about it on the general message board
( http://www.epinions.com/msg/sec_~forums/show_~threads/cat_id_~121/id_~16822/forum_id_~441/pp_~1/pa_~1#posts )
, where everyone can see that you have no concept of what it means to be man enough to own your own words. Made quite a fool out of yourself, didn't you. What now? Can't find sympathy from Customer Care either?
And to claim to have 'apologized to her via email'.... Uh-huh. Sure... what a gentlemanly thing to do to harass and attack a woman in distress in public and then claim to have apologized to her in private... And then blatantly lying that "The offended member wanted the matter to be private." Oh, really? Who was the first to mention your harassment emails in public? You or Dusty? Who was the one screaming about the fact that you have been harassing her via emails was made public? You or Dusty?
But I forgot, not only do you have no grasp of what 'honor' is, you have never shown yourself to have a good grasp of logic either.
Though I have faith that most people who read these comments are sane and are a lot smarter than you seem to think they are.
And as for MZ being able to forgive her enemies... I feel sympathy for Criteeker rather than for you. Anybody would like to get a glimpse into a mind of a stalking psycho, go and check out the comment session on any of Criteeker's recent reviews (any one of them from June 19th, 2007 on... and note when her comments were posted, will you? It takes a pretty sick person to exhibit that degree of malice). Screen shots taken, of course.... Trolls are known to be prone to wanting to delete evidence of their actions...
Last note, this is in no way the private chat-room of WilliamPinn of MilenaZepeda. I haven't shown up on any of their comment session or rated any of their review for months. Oddly enough, these two can be found spamming and revenge-rating almost all of my reviews since August 14 (screen shots also available upon request)....
Treat of the day.... Have a good laugh at stalkers who accuse others of their own crimes.
Dusty,
Hope your week has started well otherwise, matie. Don't worry about these trolls. We've got your back. Just concentrate on your real problems at home. ;o)
Cheers,
Smorg
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Oct 02 '07
12:23 am PDT
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