You never expect to hear
May 03 '08
The Bottom Line Hold on tight to each moment, you never know when they'll be gone.
The words cancer, lymphoma, chemotherapy, coming out of your doctor’s mouth. Sure, sometimes you imagine what it might be like, watching one of those chick flicks, put yourself in her place, that sort of thing. But you never really expect it. So you never really know how you’ll react. Cry? Scream? Go into shock? It makes it even harder when you hear this news in an overcrowded ER hallway, which also does double duty as your room, and there are people everywhere, patients doctors, visitors and assorted onlookers. You wonder what they all think, looking at your CT scan with the massive tumour on it, hearing the words the doctor says, probably thinking “Thank God it’s not me.”
Well, it is me. So now what? I go on. I listen, I hear the words, I move around in a type of daze, and have done so for a month now. I just finished my first cycle of chemo. My hair, once very long, has been cut short in preparation for the inevitable hair loss. I try to stay brave, but its hard. Three kids, 16, 12, and 9, they need me so much. The drugs make me so sick, the pain is ridiculous at times. But still I go on. I’m told to keep planning for the future, there is no reason not to believe I’ll beat this, at least for a few years. So I keep going.
I’m tired now. Time to take more pills, and try to start the day.
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Epinions.com ID:
MumMumMum
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 - Top 500 |
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Member: Beverley
Location: Canada
Reviews written: 290
Trusted by: 419 members
About Me:
So good to be home, but so very tired!
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