Eternal Sunshine of the Cult Cinema Kind (15 More Cult Items!)

Let’s face it, you can never have too many cult films lists, and this will mark my second. As per usual, these selections will start cries of ‘That’s not a cult film you idiot!’, and well, don’t call me an idiot. That’s not nice. It’s my list, if you have a different view, feel free to comment/bicker/argue, and devise your own damn list. I’ve also broken the rule I made last time by including a few films that are actually popular, but they still fit the bill as cult movies. It was a stupid rule to begin with, anyway (The previous list was more of an ‘underrated’ list. Odd given I actually have a list of underrated films on Epinions too! This list has a few underrated items too, but hopefully not as many. Anyway, I digress...)

<b> An American Haunting </b>- Based on an infamous novel (“Bell Witch- An American Haunting”), this 2006 Courtney Solomon film flopped and received nary a good word. Well, you’re all nuts as far as I’m concerned, because this for me was one of the few haunted house/ghost flicks that actually worked, albeit on a modest, B-level. It’s not terribly scary (outside of a few ‘boo!’ moments), but few haunted house flicks are. Instead it’s a Hammer-esque (but set in 1800s Tennessee not Victorian Era England), creepy, wonderfully atmospheric film. It boasts the most malevolent supernatural force I’ve seen in a film in a long time. Pretty intense stuff (loved the ghostly POV camera movements!), and with fine work by Sissy Spacek, Donald Sutherland, and Rachel Hurd-Wood (the latter playing the poor victim on the verge of womanhood, terrorised by an unseen entity). Maybe it’s detractors just don’t like haunted house flicks...

<b> Being John Malkovich </b>- I really should’ve put this on my first cult movie list, as no list is complete without it, as far as I’m concerned. It is without question the most original film I’ve ever come across. Loser puppeteer John Cusack works on the 7 ½ floor of an office building that includes a portal that takes people into the mind of actor John Malkovich. See what I mean? Nuts, completely nuts. Throw in a brave appearance by Malkovich himself, and you’ve got the makings of perhaps the strangest screen moment of all-time. Clever stuff, often hilariously weird, and wonderfully dark, particularly in the latter stages.

<b> The Blue Max </b>- This one’s a particular fave of war plane buffs, but underrated by most others, who only rate the aerial scenes and the outstanding Jerry Goldsmith score. I think it’s got a lot more than that to offer. A good twenty years or so before heading up <b> “The A-Team” </b>, George Peppard excelled here as a humourless, ruthless German flyboy, who rubs his Aristocratic comrades the wrong way (Peppard’s character is more lower middle class and has no time for victory toasts or back-slapping), with his ruthless pursuit of glory, and the sexy aunt (Ursula Andress- Yowza! Watch that towel, and hit the freeze frame, fellas!) of his biggest rival, played by an excellent Jeremy Kemp. James Mason lends class as Kemp’s General uncle (and Andress’ husband) who sees great PR potential in daredevil Peppard. In my view, this is one of the best WWI films, and easily the best aerial warfare film, with Peppard offering a fascinatingly complex characterisation- we never quite hate nor like this guy, but we do end up understanding him. Shame about his lazy attempt at an accent, though.

<b> Blind Fury </b>- This Americanisation of the “Zatoichi”/Blind Swordsman character popular in martial arts, was a box-office disappointment directed by Aussie Phillip Noyce, and starring the underrated Rutger Hauer, in what I consider to be one of his finest performances. He’s the blind, sword-wielding Vietnam vet who has come looking for his old war buddy (Everyone’s favourite box factory worker Terry O’Quinn), and ends up caught in the middle of O’Quinn’s shady dealings with drug-dealing casino owner Noble Willingham, that have seen O’Quinn go AWOL, leaving Willingham and his goons (including gruff, cigar-chomping, scene-stealing Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb) to target O’Quinn’s estranged wife Meg Foster and their bratty kid (Call). Like <b> “Big Trouble in Little China” </b> before it, this was ahead of its time in blending eastern and western action genres (look for an appearance by martial arts legend Sho Kosugi). It’s also got a great sense of humour, as the unbearably snotty Call and good-humoured Hauer continually cruelly try to one-up each other. Great, non-think entertainment that is now received a little more affectionately than it originally was.

<b> Bubba Ho-Tep </b>- In this whacked-out film from the director of the awesome <b> “The Beastmaster” </b>, a heavily made-up Bruce Campbell is a nursing home patient who thinks he’s Elvis (with a bad prostate), a game Ossie Davis (R.I.P.) is an African-American patient who thinks he’s JFK (apparently it’s a dye-job!), and they’re both doing battle with the title undead creature. Welcome to the damndest thing you’re ever likely to see. Really funny stuff, for fans of the ultra-cheesy, you’ve just got to see this one for yourself, though like the best cult movies, it ain’t for everyone. They really need to get <b> “Bubba Nosferatu” </b> out there soon...

<b> The Deadly Affair </b>- Despite a cast featuring James Mason, Maximillian Schell, Harry Andrews, and Roy Kinnear, despite being directed by the prolific and decorated Sidney Lumet (<b> “12 Angry Men” </b>, <b> “The Hill” </b>, and <b> “Network” </b> to name but a few), and despite being based on a novel by famed writer John Le Carre (<b> “The Spy Who Came in From the Cold” </b>), this 1967 spy film seems to have been all but forgotten. A shame, because it’s a pretty terrific B-film, boasting several outstanding performances, notably Mason (one of his best from the period), and long-serving British vets Andrews and Kinnear, whose one major scene together, is cracking stuff. Mason plays a British spy who is convinced that a supposed ex-communist government official’s suicide is more than a little suspicious, and along with retired copper Andrews, sets about investigating. Meanwhile, his marriage has all but disintegrated, with his philandering wife testing his patience. Schell is a friendly foreign agent who drops in on old buddy Mason, whilst Kinnear has a choice cameo as a scummy informant. A bit of a shame that the mystery isn’t all that mysterious, but the performances (aside from a dull Harriet Andersson as Mason’s wife) are superlative and the dour, mature tone of the film is much appreciated.

<b> A Dirty Shame </b>- This 2004 John Waters film stars the usually annoying Tracey Ullman in a very amusing turn as a repressed housewife turned horny goat after an encounter with sexaholic Johnny Knoxville. No, really! Before long, the Sexin’ bug has hit everyone in the neighbourhood, as all the freaks and weirdos come out to express themselves. For some reason, the snooty critics roasted this gleefully immature comedy, even Waters fans claimed he had ‘sold out’, gone mainstream. Piffle, I say! More likely, times have changed, and what was once raunchy, is considered less-so now in this pie-humping, post- <b> “Freddy Got Fingered” </b> era. I’ll admit that Waters will never top <i> that </i> moment from <b> “Pink Flamingos” </b> (Don’t know what I’m talking about?...um...ask your parents, they’ve probably seen it, or heard of it), but this is still pretty funny stuff shamelessly aimed at the horny 13 year-old in all of us. Clearly Roger Ebert has not been in communication with his 13 year-old self for quite a while. It’s got; The dirtiest ‘hokey pokey’ you’ve ever seen, a hopelessly horny Chris Isaak, a very game Selma Blair as a stripper aptly named Ursula Udders (the funniest sight gag you’ll see in a long time, so long as you’re a Russ Meyer fan!), an appearance by Stockholm Syndrome Poster Child Patty Hearst, and Tracey Ullman searching for an all-new sex act. Sadly, that act proves to be a bit of a letdown (Insert your own sex joke here, by the way. I’m pre-empting you, you smutty little buggers!). Let loose your inner horny teen (females, you might not get as much out of this, but I could be wrong), and you might just enjoy this deliberately juvenile (yet ultimately good-natured!) film championing freedom of sexual expression. Or something.

<b> Dreamship Surprise- Period 1 </b>- This German sci-fi spoof is pretty much unknown to most, but it’s absolutely hilarious, and proof that Germans actually do have a sense of humour. A seriously warped one. When the evil Jens Maul (Rick Kavanian) threatens the Earth, the only saviour comes in the form of a penis-shaped ship full of mincing, colour-coded, Miss Waikiki wannabes (don’t ask, just watch), headed by the not quite stoic Kapt ‘n Kork (Christian Tramitz). Herbig is the flamingly gay Mr. Spuck, who seems to be prone to more histrionic hissy fits than Elton John searching for his tiara (Mr Spuck’s reaction to being beamed is hilarious; ‘Beaming gets me in the balls!’). A blend of <b> “Star Trek” </b> and <b> “Star Wars” </b> you say? That oughtta send the fan geeks into apoplexy, if not, the limp-wristed, mincy Wiggles-schtick just might p*ss a few people off. Til Schweiger plays Rock, a macho space traveller with a fast ship/taxi cab (and yes, he does get a Millennium Falcon-esque speech at one point), who reluctantly helps out our limp-wristed protagonists.It’s like <b> “Spaceballs” </b> crossed with <b> “Star Trek” </b>, only played by the “Queer Eye” team…and with Wiggles-esque musical interludes (and colour co-ordinatedoutfits). Not to mention spoofing the majority of the plot and characters of <b> “Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” </b>. And even that doesn’t totally describe the insanity this film brings. It works best when the Surprise crew are the primary focus (I loved the line from a character clearly inspired by Mr. Chekov; ‘With respect Captain, warp speed is a bit dumbski!’), though the special FX scenes are surprisingly (no pun intended) very well-done (If you thought the ship with breasts in Roger Corman’s classic <b> “Battle Beyond the Stars” </b> was overly suggestive, just what ‘till you see what the title ship here looks like), and the finale is touching, actually. Not for conservative-types, perhaps, but it’s actually pretty innocuous on that front, and above all, very funny. For once, German comedy doesn’t sound like an oxymoron!

<b> Eight Diagram Pole Fighter </b>- After a betrayal sees all but two members of the Yang family massacred (thanks to duplicitous Ku Ming and his Mongol allies), Son no. 5 (Gordon Liu) has gone AWOL, and Son no. 6 (Alexander Fu Sheng, who died tragically in a car accident during filming, and is thus unceremoniously written out of the film) returns home a tormented and deranged shadow of his former self. No. 5 has actually sought refuge with Buddhist monks, and despite the leader’s (Phillip Ko) suspicions that anger and ideas of revenge consume him, No. 5 is undeterred by the rejection, even painfully shaving his head at one point (really hard to watch, actually). Meanwhile, the Yang family’s matriarch and seven daughters receive word that No. 5 still lives (Johnny 5 is alive!...um...no, wait...wrong movie...sorry!), and so daughter No. 8 (Kara Hui Ting-hung) is sent to locate him. This is perhaps the greatest martial arts film of all-time, a grand, brooding, bloody, exhilarating spectacle that is the Shaw Brothers at their absolute best (and near the end of their reign as the El Supremo martial arts film company). The opening battle (during the opening credits! Hell, yeah!) is a wonderfully theatrical, beautifully artificial-looking spectacle that will have fans salivating. And it gets better! Gordon Liu gives a strong performance in the lead, with his excruciating-looking shaving sequence a bravura moment. As the pole-fighting, butt-kicking monk, Phillip Ko damn near steals the show. And the finale is a truly awesome, teeth-shattering, action classic that alone makes the film a must. Shame that the seven daughters never really get in on the action, but that’s a minor gripe to what is essential viewing for any martial arts movie fan (try to see it with subtitles, though. Martial arts movies, whilst amusing when dubbed, are like all films, better in their original language). It’s certainly more action-packed than Liu’s other major kung-fu classic <b> “The 36thChamber of Shaolin” </b>.

<b> Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind </b>- This bizarre romantic comedy/drama from a typically unpredictable (?) Charlie Kaufman script teaches us that memories and past relationships are precious, even the bad ones, and that ultimately love will find a way. And yet it is done in such a wildly inventive manner, that my previous sentence won’t seem nearly as corny as it sounds. It’s about a guy (Jim Carrey) who finds out that his flaky girlfriend Clementine (Kate Winslet) has had a procedure done to her that erases him and their entire relationship from her memory. Carrey’s suitably shocked, dumbfounded, and despondent. So much so that he agrees to have the procedure done to him too. But what happens when he starts reliving and revelling in some of those old memories, just as they’re slipping away from him? Is this really what he wants? Jim Carrey gives the performance of his career, and Kate Winslet is equally as effective. But it’s mostly the ideas that you’ll remember...no pun intended. It’s like someone decided to write a standard ‘boy-meets-girl-loses-girl-hopefully-wins-her-back’ story, but then took some really bad brown acid...

<b> History of the World Part 1 </b>- Well, it received a mention on my previous list, but wasn’t actually an official entry on the list. It’s proudly included here, though, as Mel Brooks’ most underrated film (No respect, I tells ya!), and a quotable favourite of a faithful few (‘Plumbing...Pipe the s**t right outta your home!’). Mel takes us on an episodic tour of history’s most memorable moments, and peppers it with his usual brand of smutty, corny, but absolutely hilarious humour. The segment set in Ancient Rome, is classic stuff (featuring Brooks himself as Comicus, a ‘Stand-up Philosopher’), with the finale in particular (‘Wacky Weed!’) a favourite of mine, along with side-splitting performances by Dom DeLuise (For some reason, the line ‘OK f*ggot, what’s next?’ makes me pee my pants every time) as the grotesquely gluttonous Emperor Nero, and the late Madeline Kahn in arguably her funniest performance as the shrill, man-devouring Empress Nympho (‘Please Step with the same Foot at the Same <i> time </i>! My tits are falling off!’ is perhaps my fave line in the film). The French Revolution segment has a few spotty moments, but is a definite treat for fans of <b> “A Tale of Two Cities” </b>, with Cloris Leachman’s positively horrid Mme. DeFarge, very memorable, as well as one of Brooks’ most amusingly randy performances as both the King (‘It’s Good to be the King’ gets its first utterance here, it became a bit of a trademark for Brooks) and a lowly ‘P*ss Boy’ who bears a striking resemblance to the King. The best bits in this segment are an hysterical ‘living’ chess set and an hilariously mincy performance from the late Harvey Korman as Count De Monet (‘De Moan-ay! De Moan-ay!’), constantly bickering with his queenish offsider Béarnaise (‘Don’t be saucy with <i> me </i> Béarnaise!’). Your reaction to the prehistoric-set opening segment, featuring masturbation and urination gags (as well as an Orson Welles narration and a <b> “2001” </b> parody) is probably an indicator of whether you’ll like this film or not. But even a fan like me has to admit that the Busby-Berkeley-inspired “Spanish Inquisition” segment just plain isn’t funny. “Hitler on Ice”, on the other hand...

<b> Near Dark </b>- One of the best of all vampire films, this visually stunning Kathryn Bigelow film actually plays more like a combo of werewolf movie and western. The essentially talentless Adrian Pasdar (sorry, <b> “Heroes” </b> fans!) stars as an innocent small town kid hooks up with beguiling, pixie-like Jenny Wright, and the two fall in love. But she turns out to be a creature of the night, biting Pasdar, who is then introduced to Wright’s rowdy ‘family’ of blood-suckers; patriarch Lance Henriksen (a relic of the Civil War, apparently), tough-as-nails mom Jenette Goldstein, and their sons (animalistic punk Bill Paxton and malicious adolescent Joshua Miller). B (and Z) grade film veteran Tim Thomerson is Pasdar’s concerned pappy. Bigelow’s (or cinematographer Adam Greenberg’s) superb use of (mostly blue-hued) lighting (enhanced by one of the few Tangerine Dream synth scores that doesn’t suck) and effective stunt-casting (three stars of <b> “Aliens” </b> play vamps here- Henriksen, Goldstein, and Paxton), and an overall sense of 80s cool are the highlights of this peculiar but enjoyable film that has a strong army of devotees. I’m not usually a fan of modernized vampire films (the word vampire is never mentioned in the film), being more of the Gothic school, but this is one time where it works. <b> “The Lost Boys” </b> wishes it were this movie. Pasdar is a weak link in the cast (Richard Grieco busy? Johnny Depp filming “21 Jump Street” at the time? Hell, what about Jason Patric…was he doing <b> “The Lost Boys” </b> or something?), but ‘Wild Bill’ Paxton and creepy Miller in particular are unforgettable. The bar sequence is bravura stuff, with Paxton going for broke in a cheerfully sadistic turn. Hell, even Lance Henriksen gets one standout moment where he’s shot, spits the bullet back out and puts it in his pocket. Screenplay by Eric Red (whose <b> “The Hitcher” </b> is another unforgettable cult film from the 80s) is full of wonderfully nasty dialogue, like this one from Paxton; ‘I’m gonna separate your head from your shoulders…hope you don’t mind none!’.

<b> One-Armed Boxer vs. The Flying Guillotine </b>- AKA <b> “Master of the Flying Guillotine” </b>. Oddball outing set in China in 1730, with Kam Kang playing a somewhat elderly, blind assassin for the Manchus, who wields the title decapitating device (and gets his own bada** theme music), and is in search for the one-armed boxer, a sympathiser of the dethroned Ching dynasty, who apparently killed two of the blind man’s disciples. After dispatching every one-armed boxer he comes across, the blind assassin’s mission brings him to a martial arts tournament fronted by the Eagle Claw Clan, and featuring an array of bizarre contestants (too many to list, but most are kick-a*se), as well as a one-armed boxer named Master Yu (Jimmy Wang), who is indeed the man being sought. Without question the most bizarre martial arts movie I’ve ever seen, this wild, violent, absolutely marvellously barmy 1975 Jimmy Wang Yu (also the screenwriter and star) film is unforgettable stuff. Not for everyone, and admittedly I found Wang’s One-Armed Boxer (who had his own film prior to this one, but one need not see that film to enjoy this one. I haven’t as yet) far less interesting and even less likeable than the supposed villain of the story (played by Kam Kang and his flying guillotine. It doesn’t look like a guillotine, but it gets the same job done), but for fans of the weird, this is unmissable, and indescribably brilliant. The fantastic tournament segment alone (featuring a spitting Thai fighter- no not TIE fighter, and a truly bizarre ‘Yoga Master’ supposedly of Indian extraction who might just be a distant relative of Reed Richards and was certainly an inspiration for the <b> “Street Fighter” </b> computer game series, among several other similarities) is worth seeing. It’s like <b> “Bloodsport” </b> mixed with a spaghetti western, only really, really messed up. You gotta see this one, folks.

<b> Peeping Tom </b>- Karl Boehm (a mixture of Anthony Perkins, Peter Lorre, and a young Michael Caine) is a deeply troubled, sensitive photographer (mostly of still nudie pictures) who uses his camera and its tripod as a weapon to photograph women at the moment of their death. Anna Massey is the cute girl who lives downstairs and takes a fascination to the wrong neighbour. Moira Shearer has glorified cameo as a film extra Boehm photographs dancing. Maxine Audley is Massey’s blind, alcoholic mother who is fearful and suspicious of Boehm. Completely engrossing 1960 Michael Powell (<b> “The Red Shoes” </b>) cult favourite just about ruined the director’s career, for reasons that seem rather silly now, given how tame it appears today. It’s a fascinating, chilling, influential, and complex character study (of a man one might not otherwise think they would ever find interesting) and crime-thriller. Boehm’s sensitive, truly brilliant performance deserves to be considered in the same league as Anthony Perkins’ portrayal of Norman Bates in <b> “Psycho” </b>, though the characters and their stories certainly differ somewhat (I personally felt more sympathy for Boehm’s character than I did for Norman, who was just plain kooky right off the bat, even if I didn’t quite know what he had in store). A must for film buffs especially (that’s Powell himself as Boehm’s father in a truly unsettling cameo, by the way). Anyone seriously considering themselves a film buff has a sworn duty to see this film at least once.

<b> Stranger Than Fiction </b>- Will Ferrell stars as ordinary fellow named Harold Crick, who works for the IRS, and also happens to have an inner monologue running through his head. Literally. In more than one sense of the term. Whilst Dustin Hoffman, as a literature professor tries to work out whether Harold’s story is a comedy or a tragedy (despite not believing a word of what Harold is telling him), Ferrell is getting frustrated with his every thought and action being described or commented upon. This inner monologue, voiced by Emma Thompson, is actually the troubled author of Harold’s life story, and unfortunately, Thompson has decided that in order for this story to work, poor Harold must die. Needless to say, Harold isn’t very happy about all this, especially since he has just struck up a tentative relationship with tattooed bakery shop owner Maggie Gyllenhaal. Ferrell is excellent (both in the comedic and dramatic areas), Gyllenhaal (entirely radiant) and Hoffman are also terrific, and the film is both funny, sad, and very clever. Should definitely become a cult classic, alongside <b> “Being Malkovich” </b> and <b> “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” </b>. The Screenplay by Zach Helm also has a little Douglas Adams to it, I reckon (especially in regards to Harold’s inner monologue/author and some of the accompanying visuals), in amongst the Charlie Kaufman-esque weirdness.