2008: The Year In Music (Part Two)
Feb 10 '09
The Bottom Line ________________
(You may want to read Part One first, if you haven’t already. <a href="http://www.epinions.com/content_5273919620">Part One</a>)
If any of you have read my previous end-of-year write-ups, you’re probably thinking you’re in completely unfamiliar territory right now. Part two. I’ve done some odd / unpopular stuff over the years (“Weird Al” topping the list in 2006, A number one fake-out involving Crazy Frog in 2005, naming Rihanna’s “Umbrella” one of 2007’s worst songs), but I’ve never done this. Everything I’ve had to say, I’ve said it all in one glorious, yet extremely long, editorial. So why change things now?
Well for a start it keeps you guessing just that little bit longer to find out what number one is. But the main inspiration for this two-parter comes from a stand-up comedy piece by Scottish comedian Danny Bhoy on the Australian drinking culture:
“See, you can tell how much a country likes it’s drinking by it’s reaction to Last Orders at the bar. And of course Last Orders means you don’t need to go home. You can get one more drink in. But you being Australian, “We’ll get two in mate. It’s the last one, we might as well make it two”.”
That’s not the whole bit of course, and it’s probably nowhere near as funny just reading it off screen as it is watching Danny act it out. But it’s a good point. If it’s the last one, I might as well make it two. (Not that I want to be confused for an Australian drinker, or any other kind of Australian for that matter. I’m a New Zealander and damn proud of it.)
And this is the last one. Not my last Epinions piece, I’m not ready to leave the site yet. But this will be my last editorial. My blogs now have a home on my Facebook (which you can find a link to on my profile page), and for reasons explained in Part One (to which you will find a link at the beginning and end of this piece), I won’t be writing this kind of piece again for the best and worst in music of 2009.
So with the preamble out of the way, let’s get on with the ten worst songs of 2008.
#10
Artist: Chris Bown
Song: With You
Album: Exclusive
#9
Artist: The Ting Tings
Song: That’s Not My Name
Album: We Started Nothing
#8
Artist: T.I. (Featuring Rihanna)
Song: Live Your Life
Album: Paper Trail
#7
Artist: Janet Jackson
Song: Feedback
Album Discipline
#6
Artist: Ida Corr (Featuring Fedde Le Grand)
Song: Let Me Think About It
#5
Artist: MGMT
Song: Electric Feel
Album: Oracular Spectacular
#4
Artist: P-Money (Featuring Vince Harder)
Song: Everything
#3
Artist: Lil Wayne
Song: Lollipop
Album: The Carter III
#2
Artist: Kings Of Leon
Song: Sex On Fire
Album: Only By The Night
#1
Artist: Rihanna
Song: Take A Bow
Album: Good Girl Gone Bad
MGMT and The Ting Tings have to be two of the worst new bands to debut in 2008. MGMT doesn’t even sound like music (oral crap would be a better description), and The Ting Tings are just so annoying I just want to permanently remove her vocal chords. Chris Brown tries to pull off sentiment and fails spectacularly, P-Money sells out, and Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand bring house music to the mainstream when it clearly belongs in the clubs, if that’s the best it can offer. Feedback sounds like exactly that, no matter which way you adjust your radio, and Rihanna’s nonsensical warbling ruin what might otherwise be a somewhat decent rap song from T.I.. Speaking of nonsensical, Lil Wayne has trouble speaking, let alone rapping, and lead singer of Kings Of Leon Cornflour Hollowhead* sounds like the proudest graduate of the Kurt Cobain School Of Enunciation. (Anyone who doesn't understand that joke should watch "Weird Al"'s video for his song "Smells Like Nirvana".)
*May not be the singer’s actual name, but it’s close enough.
As for Take A Bow, I take issue with it on three counts. Firstly, it sounds like a love ballad when she’s actually telling the guy to p*ss off, secondly, considering the guy cheated on her, I wouldn’t even be giving him the time of day, let alone be prepared to hear him out and warning him the sprinklers are about to come on. Let the prick and his clothes get soaked! And lastly, the people writing Rihanna’s songs really need to do their research, especially into her previous singles. Take A Bow sounds like utterly hypocritical coming from the same singer who gave us the far superior Unfaithful.
Most Overplayed Artist Of The Year
Lady GaGa. I wanted to like her, I really did. Mainly because she’s named for Queen’s Radio GaGa, my favourite song of all time. And to be truthful her music really isn’t that bad. It’s just she got played to death with Just Dance, resurrected for Poker Face (which is really quite scant, lyrically), then that got played to death and now she’s been resurrected again. Oh God help us. And people wonder why I don’t listen to radio anymore.
Best Video Of The Year:
Artist: Katy Perry
Song: Hot N Cold
Album: One Of The Boys
Not that I particularly like the song, but it’s the sign of a good video when a song you don’t really rate above mediocrity makes you stand there and watch the whole thing. Besides, I’m a romantic, so anything that starts with a wedding is bound to grab my attention. I do feel sorry for the groom though – of course he was going to say “I do” after all she put him through – he’d be too scared not to!
Worst Cover Of The Year
Artist: Hinder
Song: Born To Be Wild
I couldn’t believe it when Youtube “recommended” I watch this video, and I was even more stunned when I saw it. The original (by Steppenwolf, for those who don’t know) is an absolute classic, and Hinder just couldn’t match the vocals. I’ve seen better performances rejected from the first round of American Idol.
Best Use Of An Instrument:
Artist: Flobots
Song: Handlebars
Album: Fight With Tools
Major kudos to the guitarist at the start of this song for plucking the strings rather than strumming. It’s that kind of unique simplicity that grabs someone and makes them listen to the rest of the track.
Worst Artist Of The Year: Amy Winehouse
Her severly questionable “talent” aside, I really can’t understand why this girl is still allowed to make music. Her job is to perform and entertain. Yet she’s constantly showing to do her job completely off her face on some kind of drug, which at point even resulted in her lashing out physically at a fan. If you or I did that kind of stuff at work, we’d be fired, or at the very least suspended until we got our lives together.
And so it’s nearly time to draw this editorial to a close. I have a couple more categories to hand out awards in, but I’m going to give you number one first, because said categories would give it away if I didn’t. The number one song for 2008, and my last number one to be published on Epinions is…
#1
Artist: The Offspring
Song: You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid
Album: Rise & Fall, Rage & Grace
It’s here because: It’s a highlight of it’s genre, It made me dance like a mad thing, It’s part of a great album
In other words, it’s simply fantastic. So infectiously catchy I pulled out some ridiculous dance moves the first few times I heard it (thankfully I was at home), easy to sing along to, and a great message about hypocrisy. One of the greatest rock tunes to emerge in the last few years.
Worst Video Of The Year:
Artist: The Offspring
Song: You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid
Album: Rise & Fall, Rage & Grace
Maybe it’s just because we were left waiting so long after the track hit radio for a video to appear, but when it did it certainly wasn’t worth the wait. I was left wondering what I was supposed to interpret from the video and exactly what had gone on in it. A fan-made video on Youtube set to Star Wars Episode III scenes made more sense.
Best Album I Heard This Year:
Artist: The Offspring
Album: Rise & Fall, Rage & Grace
To call it the best album of the year would be a little unfair, considering how few albums I actually heard in 2008. Still, the new one from The Offspring is certainly the best. From the singles Hammerhead and You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, to supposed new single Kristy, Are You Doing OK? and tracks like Takes Me Nowhere, Half-Truism, Nothingtown and Rise & Fall, there’s simply not a dud on here. It’s been compared to when Green Day came back with American Idiot, and the comparison is certainly justified.
And that’s it. If you don’t mind, we won’t bother with any pomp and circumstance here (some would say I’ve said too much already), but that does end my final Epinions editorial. From here on out, you’ll find blogs on my Facebook, and my Epinions activity will be product reviews only. It’s probably about time I did another one of those.
Oh, and if anyone missed Part One of this editorial, you can find it here: <a href="http://www.epinions.com/content_5273919620">Part One</a>
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Epinions.com ID:
dbcint
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Member: Dean Cowie
Location: Invercargill, New Zealand
Reviews written: 198
Trusted by: 39 members
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