Ten Things I Hate Feb 19 '09    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Books Mildred D. Taylor - Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry: A Literature Unit From $8 Olivier Dunrea - Ollie From $7 The Bottom Line I feel better now. Get the taser ready. I have to thank Criteeker and Lyonness913 for inspiring me, because I've been a bit frustrated lately about a lot in life. Between being a husband, parent, and government employee who works too many hours, there's plenty that I can dig up right now that is seriously making me mad. Like them I hope that this can be a mental exercise, that won't leave me more mentally deficient than I already am, and I'm hoping more voices will not appear due to this. These are the top ten things that get me agitated, and they are listed in order from least to worst, even though they are all aggravating. #10. Drive Thru Starbucks: Really, how lazy are we in the United States? Is it too much to ask, for us to get out of our cars, and walk five feet to get a cup of java? I think this is the most ridiculous idea I have ever heard of, and its even worse than the Rosemary Clooney garbage that they play in my local coffee shop. Even more stupid and involving these drive thrus, is the idea of paying for the cup of coffee for the person in the car behind you and passing it on. This is stupid, although I'm going to buy the most expensive item the next time I'm in the drive thru for this reason. #9 Big Band Remakes: Yes, in the coffee shop and at Trader Joe's, they have these awful musical productions, of great songs like Van Halen's "Jump" played by big bands with a sleazy cocktail lounge singer. I have seriously wanted to drive my car right into the store, and run over all of the beatniks who seem to be enjoying this crap. Its bad enough that the employees of Trader Joe's are shipmates, and wear ridiculous uniforms, but do you have to play this music that makes a perfectly sane person want to go on a rampage with a Ford Pinto? #8 Smart Cars: I've actually told a driver of one of these "Nice F'n golf cart." Yes, I'm a prick, but I meant it. I don't give a damn if gas goes up to $20 a gallon, I will walk or bike everywhere before driving one of these. In fact, I will walk through a Starbucks Drive Thru in a little thong and singing those big band songs, before even being seen within a 1/2 mile radius of these. Looks like I'm gonna have to put on the bikini and get my voice ready for some singing. #7 Delegation: Any boss that is proud of delegating so many tasks, is a worthless and lazy bum. While some things have to be done in such a manner, you know the type that delegates all of his or her responsibility, and then takes credit for all of the good going on. Then when you make a simple mistake, you get blasted to Hell for it. You become persona non grata for one minor error, and even when you go to bat for them constantly, they will kick you to the curb at the first possible moment. These people are usually cowards, who are trying to hide a lot of shortcomings. #6 Panhandlers: I don't care how down on your luck you are, I'm not going to support your booze or drug habit. One panhandler had the nerve to wash my car window with a dirty rag, after I told him to stay away from my car and that he was going to get no money. I almost threw him off a bridge, and it was funny seeing him run away with shoes more expensive than I can afford. If I was the mayor of a town, I would make panhandling a offense that would require five years of jail with hard labor. #5 PETA: These would be higher up my list, but I like their naked ads of hot women, who insist on not eating meat. These "village idiots" claim that animals have rights. While I do not believe an abusing any animal, and I love my dog like a child, I won't hesitate to hunt or fish for any species that's not under conservation danger. Oh by the way..Moby I'll take your challenge of eating a hamburger while looking into the eyes of a cow. Moron. #4 Greenpeace: These guys really annoy me. They  actually have come to my door early in the morning, and were complaining about dolphins getting caught in tuna nets. I slammed the door on them, and yelled "Why don't you care about the tuna?" #3 Credit Card Companies/Phone Calls: Why don't credit card companies understand, that while I may have their card, I don't want to be called about a new offer during my dinner time? I've told them this again and again and again, and they won't honor my request. The Do Not Call List should have an option, where you can block companies you have done business with, and charities. Oh, and political surveys as well.  Do Not Call should mean just that, and the next time one of these credit card companies call, I'm thinking about blasting the "most annoying sound" from Dumb and Dumber right through the receiver at a high volume. #2 The "GOD SQUAD": I don't like having religious beliefs imposed on me, especially bright and early in the morning, like the Jehovah's Witnesses are fond of doing. They really got my blood pressure up one morning, when I was told that since I didn't want to hear about their beliefs, that I would be damned for life. I told them I would see them in Hell, and that I'd be the one with the ice water at least. The Mormons are at least a bit more considerate, and will leave you alone if you ask them to. Actually I will give them a free pass, since the last time they were by the house on bikes, they made me laugh. They said "Is there anything we can pray for that would help?" My ugly wrinkled dog was with me, and I said "Perhaps you could pray for m dog to be prettier." They advised me that there are some things prayer couldn't help with, which was hilarious! #1Monopolies: I'm so sick of having no competition for the electric company, water provider, gas, etc. How do these jerks get away with murder, as they raise my rates constantly, and don't have to be held accountable? Don't we, or at least a few months ago, live in a capitalistic society based upon competition? I'm starting to wonder why I even call to complain, because they aren't going to change anything, but raise my rates further since I can't do nothing about it. Honorable Mention: I think I should be allowed by law to just taser anyone that p*sses me off. There should be a toiletoctopus clause in the use of force, that states at any time and for any reason based upon stupidity, I can use a taser on anyone for whatever reason I see fit. There would have to be a lot of tasers provided, because I would go through them quickly. Someone's driving down the road texting and applying makeup? Tase them! Someone's double parked with a Smart Car? Tase them! The Hari Krishna's show up at my house? Tase them! Hippies sing Cumbayah while I'm at a campsite? Tase them. POLITICIANS:Regardless of party, Tase the Hell out of em'.

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