The Man of Science and the Man of Faith Square Off
Mar 30 '09
The Bottom Line Jack and John ever-so-gradually start seeing eye to eye.
Reflecting on the change of heart that Jack of 2007 experiences on LOST, I wanted to write something dealing exclusively with the extended Jack-John showdown, and That's a Woman, the Celtic Thunder duet between Ryan Kelly and Paul Byrom, seemed an ideal vehicle. John, like Paul, is hopelessly smitten, but in this case the object of his affections is the Island rather than a woman. He's a total sap when it comes to the Island, while Jack is vitriolic, laying on the Sawyerish snark as he details the reasons he detests the Island. This duet takes their debate from their first days on the Island up until their second arrival.
That's the Island
Season One
John: Island, such a heavenly haven.
Don't be craven.
Now we can make a new start.
Explore it.
Learn to adore it
Before it
Gives you the chance to depart.
Jack: A torturous trap where we happened to crash.
Better take it from me, that's the Island.
I'm mired in a mess like a medic on M*A*S*H.
We were not meant to be on the Island.
My boozy dad's body was bound for L.A.,
Not meant to be on the Island.
He ought to be deep in dirt by today,
Not staring and scaring my senses away
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Two
Jack: A den of abductions and dread and deceit.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Full of murderous men we don't want to meet.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Who's to say hatches are better than huts
On this mysterious Island?
Pushing the button's the work of a putz.
You sob, "It's our job!" but I think you've gone nuts
On the Island, on the Island.
John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Driving us all to be daring,
Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
When you look in the eye of the Island
Jack: Look in its eye and you'll probably die!
That's the Island!
John: And ponder the "why" of the Island
Jack: John, it doesn't mean squat! There's no purpose or plot
On the Island!
John: You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Both: The enigmas are vast
On the Island!
Season Three
John: Island, in need of protection.
My defection
Gave me the knowledge I need.
Don't cater
To the folks from the freighter.
They're traitors
Waiting to watch our world bleed.
Jack: Bait all the natives and blow 'em to bits,
That's how we exit the Island.
Hike up the hill 'cause the phone's on the fritz,
That's how we exit the Island.
Take a trek to the tower to turn off Rousseau,
That's how we exit the Island.
With Charlie in charge down below,
He'll let us know when all systems are go
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Four
Jack: It took a little more time than I planned.
Now we can exit the Island.
Do I have to put up with your silly last stand?
I'm ready to exit the Island.
You stay in your leafy botanical lodge,
Lavishing love on the Island.
Go in there and pick out a handsome corsage;
We'll hop on the chopper and get outta Dodge.
So long, Island, so long, Island!
Season Five
Jack: Look at my aimless and miserable state.
I think I'm missing the Island.
I'm dour and drunk and rejected by Kate.
I think I'm missing the Island.
Gotta find another plane
To get me back to the Island.
I'm trusting Ben. Am I insane?
I hear your voice inside my brain:
"What an Island!" What an Island...
Memory of John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Jack: I'm perfectly keen to take Flight Three-Sixteen
To the Island.
Memory of John: Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Jack: You cured my doubts; too bad you're on the outs
With the Island.
Memory of John: Driving us all to be daring...
Jack: Thanks to your dare, I'm in the air.
To the Island!
Memory of John: Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
Both: When you look in the eye of the Island
And ponder the "why" of the Island,
You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Jack: Now the die has been cast.
Both: To the Island!
Jack: Sure as I'm Jack, it's great to be back!
Both: What an island!
LOST Parodies:
Bohemian Rhapsody * I Am a Rock * White Christmas * Christmas Canon Rock * We Wish You a Merry Christmas * Christmas in Killarney * Henry the Eighth * Sweet Baby James * The Only Living Boy in New York * Here, There and Everywhere * He Was My Brother * For Baby (For Bobbie) * Sloop John B. * When I'm 64 * The Longest Time * Run for the Roses * You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore * Eye of the Tiger * Girls Just Wanna Have Fun * Leader of the Band * Same Old Lang Syne * Cat's in the Cradle * An Innocent Man * The Boxer * Sparrow * Loves Me Like a Rock * Der Fuehrer's Face * Goodbye Yellow Brick Road * Candle in the Wind * Scarborough Fair / Canticle * Hey Jude * Tears in Heaven * Bridge Over Troubled Water * House of the Rising Sun * Lover's Cross * Lasso the Moon * Rocket Man * El Condor Pasa * Hair * Why Don't You Write Me? * The Greening of Belfast * She Wore a Yellow Ribbon * Sons and Daughters * I'll Follow the Sun * What the World Needs Now Is Love * Danny Boy * Yesterday's Men * I Want to Live * Mountains of Mourne
Poems:
Baby Brother * The Pilot in the Pilot * Vincent * Of Sacrificial Death and Life * John the Baptized * Not Penny's Boat * Finding Vincent * I'm Lost Without... * Apollo * A Hurley Christmas
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Member: Erin McCarty
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