Scads No More
May 22 '09
The Bottom Line Death to those who took both of them away!
There use to be a time when buying scads of products was my motto. I used to be able to purchase things without buyer’s remorse. I would fill my home with well marketed items, in particularly scads of things that dealt with music or computers. Lately, the information that I use from this website has been lacking in power and depth. There is something missing. Something is gone. My ability to buy the absolute perfect product at the right time is waning. My desire to purchase scads of items is at its very lowest point in all my life. I feel so dirty and evil when I buy things. A pack of gum makes me feel like a consumer w%&@$.
My sense of obligation to buy stuff is slowly being replaced with a sense of obligation to save money. Being this way takes the joy out of life. Life has become purposeless. If you’re not buying scads and scads of consumerables you’re not loving life to the fullest. Everyone knows that. My life is empty because my ability to purchase things at the right time has withered away to almost nothing. My love for buying has turned on me, and buying stuff is a very hard thing to do these days. The power that I once had in buying scads of products has turned on me. The lack of information, or should I say the lack of quality of information is now my kryptonite and it’s altering my buying DNA.
Some of the biggest symptoms of all are the savings of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. I have seven carboys filled with loose change. I use to buy the best stuff with my extra coinage at the local dollar store. I freely admit that my infliction of not being able to purchase scads of items in the correct fashion is, without a doubt, a disease. Anti-scadulosis, as my doctors put it, is capable of killing me. I may never see the days of my children becoming well informed consumers and being apart of the colony of people who just buy stuff to fulfill their needy desire to be happy.
I may have been a victim of sabotage. There is a wicked faction group called the non-materialists. These people make claims that people who simply buy stuff are shallow and do not…oh, it makes me angry thinking about it. I have the worst disease of all time, and those non-materialists gave it to me. Those non-materialists took away two of the best damn purchasing advisors on the planet. This is the reason why I have this horrible disease.
I’ve lost so much since those two people have been taken away.
This disease can spread like wild fire. If you feel like you’re going to faint when buying a candy bar; you too might be inflicted with anti-scadulosis. If you have the tendencies to save loose change you might be inflicted.
To get things back to normal all we need is for the two lost ones to return here and start giving us the best advice on purchasing that will ever be seen by the eyes of the masses. One of them once said that tequila tastes good, and g-d damn it, he was right. This was a simple, but eloquent, line of purchasing assistance of all time. He empowered you by not being overly sophisticated, but bringing the advice down to the level of the average consumer. That is what made him great. Jeffy is his name, and may we find him before society is destroyed forever by the non-materialists. The other man who has been taken away from us simply goes by 29th. That is all we have to say about him. He’s that good!
I beg all of you to find these two people before I, Rated-R, scads no more.
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