Tina Fey and Sarah Palin: A TV Special for Today
May 27 '09
The Bottom Line Laughter is the best medicine...even when we are in a Recession.
These are serious times. What with the economy in the I.C.U. getting pumped full of Stimulus antibiotics, with Cheney and Rush ranting and raving about how to pull the rug out from under President Obama and dissing some of the decent men on the national scene, and with a Scottish singing sensation winning contests even as some cretins continue to call her dowdy and unbelievable. Time for some serious Rolling On The Floor Laughing. I can think of few other things to fill the bill than if Tina Fey were to put on a TV special called something like "A Day In The Life Of Sarah Palin, Now That The Election Is Over," possibly with the blessing of SNL. This is all hypothetical, of course, but is there anyone funnier than Tina Fey these days, and could she pull it off? Well, duh!
Here are some hypothetical excerpts from some of the possible comedy sketches:
#1: Governor Palin goes Moose Hunting With Dick Cheney:
Tina/Sarah: "Thinkin' I'll call up Dick Cheney an' see if he wants to go on a little huntin' expedition after some of our Alaskan mooses."
Governor's aide: "I dunno, Governor. He's a pretty wild shot I hear."
Tina/Sarah: "Aw, you been listinin' to them lib'ral media dingbats too much. Dickie knows how to take aim pert good. Even with his mouth he's takin' some good shots at them lib'rals like Powell and the rest of them defecters that voted for the guy that bought the 'lection from us."
Aide: "I dunno, Governor. Your call."
Tina/Sarah: "Well then, get him on the line while my nails are dryin', wouldya? An' then have Joe send me up a six pack from the 'ol icebox in the basement while you're at it."
#2: Governor Palin calls and advises Secretary of State Hillary Clinton:
Tina/Sarah: "Good mornin' Hillary. How ya like all that world travel ya been doin'?"
Amy Poehler/Hillary: "It has been most stimulating, Sarah. Bill has been giving me lots of tips on international relations. How are you recovering, now that the election is over?"
Tina/Sarah: "It's not too bad, Hill. Are you ready for a little mud-wrestlin' match in 2012 if Obama steps aside?"
Amy/Hillary: (Long pause) "Well, Sarah, I would say that's a bit presumptuous, wouldn't you?
Tina/Sarah: "Well, not if my good buddy Rush gets his way. Anyways, that's not why I wrung ya up on the hot-line."
Amy/Hillary: "This isn't the hot-line, Governor. As a matter of fact it's a cell phone. What's on your mind?
Tina/Sarah: "Well, I've been lookin' out my picture window, and you know I can see them Russians from here. They've been lookin' pretty suspicious lately. They're roundin' up them polar bears out there on the ice floes. I think they're up to somethin'. Since you're in charge of international relations now I thought I should be the first to tell ya."
Amy/Hillary: "They're actually a part of an international expedition, Sarah. Global warming is destroying their habitats and the international community is trying to save them."
Tina/Sarah: "Well, you know I don't hold much stock in that global warming stuff, even if it is a hundred-an'-twenty degrees here in my Alaskan statehouse today- probly' just a little heat wave- but I have a better idea. Get me some federal money an' we'll build us a bridge from one ice floe to another. We'll call it "The Bridge For Some-Bear." That'll fix the problem an' those polar bears can all go back home. An' them Rooskies can go back home too. Don't like seein' them up to suspicious stuff."
Amy/Hillary: "Well....I'm not sure about that one, Sarah. I'll speak to the President about it though..."
Tina/Sarah: "You do that, Hill. See you at the debates!"
#3: Governor Palin talks to Senator John McCain:
Tina/Sarah: "Hi, Senator. Hope you don't have any hard feelin's about the election and all, now that it's over."
Actor/McCain: "Well, Sarah...that's all water under the bridge now...and you know what bridge I mean."
Tina/Sarah: "Never gonna' let that one go, are we, John?"
Actor/McCain: "Oh, everybody makes mistakes, Sarah. What's on your mind?"
Tina/Sarah: "It's about the shoes, John."
Actor/McCain: "The shoes? What shoes?"
Tina/Sarah: "I keep gettin' this bill from the Republican National Committee for a few shoes I bought for the campaign!"
Actor/McCain: "Oh...those shoes...the 50 pair of shoes with the bows on them."
Tina/Sarah: "Yep. Those shoes. I got a special pair to wear when I was out campaignin' in each of the 50 states, all with their state colors on them. Thought that might win 'em over. A legitimate campaign expense."
Actor/McCain: "I thought we cleared that all up with the accounting office, Sarah."
Tina/Sarah: "Still on the old Mastercard bill, John."
Actor/McCain: "Sorry, Sarah. I'll talk to Rush about it. He's sort of in charge of things now, you know."
Tina/Sarah: "Rush? Oh, we're buds. I'll call him myself and see if he can pull a few strings.
Etc., etc.
This would all be in good fun, just fiction, laughs, humor, etc., with little to connect it to reality, of course. Nothing real or serious. And no jokes about Governor Palin's family; not in good taste at all.
There's not much to laugh about these days on the Washington merry-go-round, but wouldn't this be fun. Maybe politically incorrect for some, but a laugh or two wouldn't hurt these days.
And Tina & company could be just the thing.
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Member: Ed Williamson
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Fight 'em till Hell freezes over, then fight 'em on the ice!
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